Betrayed by Nanny of 4 years!

[Anonymous]

I learned today that our nanny of 4 years has been gossiping quite negatively about our family and some personal matters. Back story, she worked for us full time for the first 2 years, part time the 3rd year, and now occasionally babysits for us as she needed to work full time and has found another family. She expressed that she wanted to get out of nannying and wanted to start a career in an office environment, so my husband offered her an internship at his office. Over the 4 years that she has been with our family, we have done a lot to take care of her, as her family pretty much abandoned her and she's been on her own since the age of 14. We bought her a car, paid some of her tuition, and recently, when her father passed away in El Salvador, gave her cash to pay for a ticket as well as take some money back home to help with funeral expenses.

We recently hired her to work for 2 weeks, while we were on vacation, paid her very well for the trip, as well as all expenses paid. We discovered that she had taken some cash from us while on vacation, but didn't confront her, and I noticed she was wearing a pair of my sunglasses that had gone missing several months earlier. In the last few months, I have noticed that she has become extremely materialistic, to the point that she is willing to wear knock off products, fake Louis Vuittons, fake Cartier jewelry, fake Chanel handbags. I don't even know who this person is anymore. Young and impressionable I guess.

Well, turns out, during her internships at my husband's office, she has been gossiping profusely about our family with my husbands co-workers. His co-workers actually came to him with the information and the details they gave him could have only come from her.

I'm not at a loss as to what to do. I'm severing ties. I'm not getting in touch with her to discuss it, I'm not seeking revenge, I am angry, hurt, and dumbfounded.

Guess I needed a place to vent, but could really use some advice on how to cope with this. She's been with our family for 4 years, my kids love her, and so do I, I really care about her, but this kind of betrayal just can't be forgiven. We've done so much for her and I understand, she could be jealous, selfish...I just can't come to terms with all of this.

Anyone else go through something like this? How to deal, other than just getting over it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned today that our nanny of 4 years has been gossiping quite negatively about our family and some personal matters. Back story, she worked for us full time for the first 2 years, part time the 3rd year, and now occasionally babysits for us as she needed to work full time and has found another family. She expressed that she wanted to get out of nannying and wanted to start a career in an office environment, so my husband offered her an internship at his office. Over the 4 years that she has been with our family, we have done a lot to take care of her, as her family pretty much abandoned her and she's been on her own since the age of 14. We bought her a car, paid some of her tuition, and recently, when her father passed away in El Salvador, gave her cash to pay for a ticket as well as take some money back home to help with funeral expenses.

We recently hired her to work for 2 weeks, while we were on vacation, paid her very well for the trip, as well as all expenses paid. We discovered that she had taken some cash from us while on vacation, but didn't confront her, and I noticed she was wearing a pair of my sunglasses that had gone missing several months earlier. In the last few months, I have noticed that she has become extremely materialistic, to the point that she is willing to wear knock off products, fake Louis Vuittons, fake Cartier jewelry, fake Chanel handbags. I don't even know who this person is anymore. Young and impressionable I guess.

Well, turns out, during her internships at my husband's office, she has been gossiping profusely about our family with my husbands co-workers. His co-workers actually came to him with the information and the details they gave him could have only come from her.

I'm not at a loss as to what to do. I'm severing ties. I'm not getting in touch with her to discuss it, I'm not seeking revenge, I am angry, hurt, and dumbfounded.

Guess I needed a place to vent, but could really use some advice on how to cope with this. She's been with our family for 4 years, my kids love her, and so do I, I really care about her, but this kind of betrayal just can't be forgiven. We've done so much for her and I understand, she could be jealous, selfish...I just can't come to terms with all of this.

Anyone else go through something like this? How to deal, other than just getting over it?

So she found another full time nanny family....but has an internship with your husband's office? *sniff sniff* Smells like troll to me.....

[Anonymous]

OP here: She interns 1 day a week, her day off from her nanny job. She didn't want to give up her nanny salary, but at the same time wanted to make the transition.

I just want advice, do I confront her for the gossiping and stealing or just let it be, either way, she is no longer welcome in our lives.

[Anonymous]

Back under your bridge! Your posts are so recognizable at this point, you should just stop and work on getting a life. Get a job, go to school, find a man/woman, something anything please.

[Anonymous]

Trololololol try harder

[Anonymous]

Anonymous



Back under your bridge! Your posts are so recognizable at this point, you should just stop and work on getting a life. Get a job, go to school, find a man/woman, something anything please.

Agreed.

#trollfail.

[Anonymous]

Give my regards to the billygoats!

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry she caused you so much hurt. Some people are just entitled, manipulative and seem to thrive on taking advantage of other peolle's kindness. I know a nanny like this so I know they're out there. Thankfully it's rare.

You're right to severe ties, but I would discuss with her exactly why, go over the stolen items and I'd consider what should/shouldn't be in writing. Be prepared to answe your children's questions honestly on why she is no longer welcome. Gve them a chance to say their goodbyes if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous



Back under your bridge! Your posts are so recognizable at this point, you should just stop and work on getting a life. Get a job, go to school, find a man/woman, something anything please.

Agreed.

#trollfail.

#sockpuppetfail

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: She interns 1 day a week, her day off from her nanny job. She didn't want to give up her nanny salary, but at the same time wanted to make the transition.

I just want advice, do I confront her for the gossiping and stealing or just let it be, either way, she is no longer welcome in our lives.

Uhhh, but in your OP you said "I'm not at a loss as to what to do. I'm severing ties. I'm not getting in touch with her to discuss it." and now you want advice on whether or not to get in touch with her about it?

Agree with the others, go back to trollville.

[Anonymous]

OP here, this is my first time posting on DC Urban and wow, nice reception, being called a troll. What the heck is so recognizable in my post? Not one to read threads or post as I am busy, being a mom to 2 kids???

Anyways, thanks to the person who did post a helpful comment. I am having a hard time deciding, let my nanny know and hopefully she can grow from it or never mention it, never call her to work again, and let my kids know that she is "busy" and hopefully they forget about her soon. They are 7 and 5.

As for getting a life...sorry but people who read threads, then take the time to accuse people of being a troll, I mean really, who needs to get a life???

Guess DC Urban is NOT the place to get helpful advice:-\

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, this is my first time posting on DC Urban and wow, nice reception, being called a troll. What the heck is so recognizable in my post? Not one to read threads or post as I am busy, being a mom to 2 kids???

Anyways, thanks to the person who did post a helpful comment. I am having a hard time deciding, let my nanny know and hopefully she can grow from it or never mention it, never call her to work again, and let my kids know that she is "busy" and hopefully they forget about her soon. They are 7 and 5.

As for getting a life...sorry but people who read threads, then take the time to accuse people of being a troll, I mean really, who needs to get a life???

Guess DC Urban is NOT the place to get helpful advice:-\

It works out fine when you actually ask a question people can advise on. But you didn't, soooo...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, this is my first time posting on DC Urban and wow, nice reception, being called a troll. What the heck is so recognizable in my post? Not one to read threads or post as I am busy, being a mom to 2 kids???

Anyways, thanks to the person who did post a helpful comment. I am having a hard time deciding, let my nanny know and hopefully she can grow from it or never mention it, never call her to work again, and let my kids know that she is "busy" and hopefully they forget about her soon. They are 7 and 5.

As for getting a life...sorry but people who read threads, then take the time to accuse people of being a troll, I mean really, who needs to get a life???

Guess DC Urban is NOT the place to get helpful advice:-\

Typical troll response. "I don't know what a troll is", "This is my first post ever!", and the old stand by "You guys are mean!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, this is my first time posting on DC Urban and wow, nice reception, being called a troll. What the heck is so recognizable in my post? Not one to read threads or post as I am busy, being a mom to 2 kids???

Anyways, thanks to the person who did post a helpful comment. I am having a hard time deciding, let my nanny know and hopefully she can grow from it or never mention it, never call her to work again, and let my kids know that she is "busy" and hopefully they forget about her soon. They are 7 and 5.

As for getting a life...sorry but people who read threads, then take the time to accuse people of being a troll, I mean really, who needs to get a life???

Guess DC Urban is NOT the place to get helpful advice:-\

She's not your nanny anymore - she's your babysitter! Big difference.

I seriously hate when people say oh I have a nanny. She watches our children once a week for date night. Lady that's a babysitter. Stop trying to sound like you have a nanny.

Sorry not part of the thread at all. Just annoys me!

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. Your story rang true to me, but there have been a lot of tall tails here lately, so people are skeptical. Don't take it personally.

One question that sprang to mind -- is your nanny relatively young? It sounds like a young insecure behavior. My guess is that she is nervous in the office environment and is just trying to find something to make her feel like she has a bit of control or power. While it depends on what she told people, ie whether it was mean spirited or just personal, that would be my guess.

I agree that not mentioning it to her seems wise. But I think, given that she and your husband share an environment, it might be good for them to have a talk. Your husband might just mention what you said, that some people have come to him with some details that she shared with them about her life. I think (if it is true) that your husband might say that people like her and her work (to butter her up). He might admit that he and your nanny know a lot about each other ,and that he would appreciate if both of them could be professional in the work environment.

My guess is that your (ex) nanny would be apologetic, and your husband can be nice and say he's not permanently mad.

Then oyu move on. Be cordial to her, but find a different babysitter for when you go out, at least for a while.