Au pair taking her charge shopping while on duty

[Anonymous]

Thoughts about your au pair taking your 3yo shopping while on duty? Like shopping for her because she has big plans tonight. As far as I know, this is the first time she's done this. She didn't ask - my 3yo told me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts about your au pair taking your 3yo shopping while on duty? Like shopping for her because she has big plans tonight. As far as I know, this is the first time she's done this. She didn't ask - my 3yo told me.

I guess in my mind, it would depend if this was a 5 minute stop to pick up eyeliner at the CVS or her dragging your toddler through every store in the mall for 3 hours while she finds the perfect outfit. If it's the former, I wouldn't make a big deal of it. If it was the latter, I would sit her down and explain that she has her off-duty hours to do this sort of thing and she can't use her work hours for her personal needs. Did DC complain about it or just mention it as "this is what we did today"? I tend to take my kids' leads in deciding to limit certain types of BS behavior. For instance, one AP would take them to the YMCA (we had a family membership) and drop them in the kids' zone (free childcare for members) while she worked out for 30 minutes. I thought it was complete BS (I'm not really paying her to exercise,) but let it go because the kids loved the kid zone and it was the only time they got to go there (I never used the Y gym) and she never let the time go longer than that.

[Anonymous]

He said they went in two stores and she tried things on and he was bored of just sitting. He said he played in the play area though, so he was happy with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He said they went in two stores and she tried things on and he was bored of just sitting. He said he played in the play area though, so he was happy with that.

That's a lot of information to get out of a 3 year old.

[Anonymous]

Thanks troll poster! Now we can't post anything legitimate because everyone questions every detail in hopes of catching her in the act.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He said they went in two stores and she tried things on and he was bored of just sitting. He said he played in the play area though, so he was happy with that.

That's a lot of information to get out of a 3 year old.

If he's almost 4 then no, it's not alot of information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts about your au pair taking your 3yo shopping while on duty? Like shopping for her because she has big plans tonight. As far as I know, this is the first time she's done this. She didn't ask - my 3yo told me.

I guess in my mind, it would depend if this was a 5 minute stop to pick up eyeliner at the CVS or her dragging your toddler through every store in the mall for 3 hours while she finds the perfect outfit. If it's the former, I wouldn't make a big deal of it. If it was the latter, I would sit her down and explain that she has her off-duty hours to do this sort of thing and she can't use her work hours for her personal needs. Did DC complain about it or just mention it as "this is what we did today"? I tend to take my kids' leads in deciding to limit certain types of BS behavior. For instance, one AP would take them to the YMCA (we had a family membership) and drop them in the kids' zone (free childcare for members) while she worked out for 30 minutes. I thought it was complete BS (I'm not really paying her to exercise,) but let it go because the kids loved the kid zone and it was the only time they got to go there (I never used the Y gym) and she never let the time go longer than that.

+1

[Anonymous]

I don't think I'd have a problem with our au pair bringing a child on a few errands.

[Anonymous]

Um...no ...not acceptable.

[Anonymous]

What options do they have for daily outings, OP? She may be bored with your neighborhood playground everyday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What options do they have for daily outings, OP? She may be bored with your neighborhood playground everyday.

I have her a big list of all the things they can do. That should be no excuse in DC.

[Anonymous]

For me, this is a trust issue. I feel the caregiver shouldn't be doing this kind of thing unless we've talked about it first. If I were asked, and it happened rarely, I would probably agree. But for her to be taking the child (who is bored) without asking first or disclosing after--that's when you start to wonder what's going on with the day. And other things start to bother you. . . So talk before it builds up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, this is a trust issue. I feel the caregiver shouldn't be doing this kind of thing unless we've talked about it first. If I were asked, and it happened rarely, I would probably agree. But for her to be taking the child (who is bored) without asking first or disclosing after--that's when you start to wonder what's going on with the day. And other things start to bother you. . . So talk before it builds up.

Thanks PP. I agree. The fact that she didn't ask or tell me let's me know she was being sneaky about it.

[Anonymous]

But wouldn't you take your own child shopping if you needed something? I get that APs are "on the clock," but it seems silly to reprimand her for occasionally doing something you would do, too.

[Anonymous]

Funny how you expect so much from these young poorly paid foreigners who come here for a "cultural exchange".
Wake up and smell the coffee.