Do people approach your nanny?

[Anonymous]

Does she tell them to back off?

Our p/t nanny is very happy, but NOT willing to go elsewhere (not even "as a favor", "if the other parent is desperate", whatever), but parents don't seem to get the hint. Are all parents this dense? I know they would never pay what we do, but they don't know this.

[Anonymous]

The desperation of other parents does not constitute an emrrgency of any kind for your nanny and good for her for not letting your jerky friends take advantage of her.

[Anonymous]

I'm frequently approached by friends and neighbors of my bosses, or moms that see me at the parks. I'm happy at my job so I will accept offers to babysit and such, but not for full time work. My bosses know I'm approached and I don't think they really care. We're happy with our arrangement. If you pay well and are otherwise good employers don't worry too much. Its just a sign that you have a good nanny.

[Anonymous]

Thanks. OP here. The problem is, that some people think because the nanny is a certain background, she will not say no. I suppose they are stereotyping. In reality, she is nice and sees them often, so does not want to say no because of it. But this makes it very awkward in the long run. She was hoping the parents would get the hint.

I have told them straight out that she is NOT available for anyone else as a nanny, sitter, backup or anything else they want to call it. She has a full time job that pays benefits and has no reason to be here other than that we are good to her. Thats it. Easy. She is not interested, even if you are, or think you are, the Queen of England!

I happen to know that the other moms are cheap and would not pay what we do. It is as if they are using her, thinking she won't say no when push comes to shove. My nanny has started avoiding them, as she does not want to deal with them any more. They are too much!

They are so insistent. Do we have to threaten them for them to stay away and MYOB? Ask them what the word "no" means to them?

I would not dream of approaching their nanny, even though we have NO family in the area. BTW, these are the same people who have family living WITH them! Really??!!

Why do some people have such huge and disturbing lack of boundaries?

[Anonymous]

You're weird. I bet your life is FULL of "drama"'

[Anonymous]

No its not, thankfully. I was thinking the same of the moms that approach my nanny - thanks for clarifying!

[Anonymous]

Nannies are not owned property, why should they not be approached? It is the same as any other business, you see someone doing a great job and you think they would be a great fit for a position you have available, then you offer them an interview. Who cares?

[Anonymous]

Do you have a problem with your husband being approached? They are not owned property either.

Often, if someone approaches my nanny, she tells them yes and then comes and tells me how ridiculous they are and how she would never work for them. First of all, they are too cheap and lazy to work for!

[Anonymous]

OP, you're the one who needs to MYOB. Your nanny is an adult. If she is offered a better job, she is free to take it. You should not be telling anyone that your nanny is unavailable to them. If you nanny is happy with your family, she will turn them down herself.

[Anonymous]

Your husband made a lifelong commitment to you. You obviously have serious boundary issues.

[Anonymous]

Serious boundary issues belong to those who already have free help, yet see nothing wrong with approaching the only help the next mom has. And you know it. Don't try to play stupid. It is obvious and unflattering. Are you trying to get a reputation for yourself?

These are not nannies who are offered a better job, these are moms who have more than they can handle and somehow want to place the burden on another mom. Whether or not they call it that. They are the ones that need to MYOB.

A terrible job for less money! "Oh please, sign me up....." Vomit.

I have seen nannies that are approached, tell everyone at the pool, or the school during school time. So it is funny to me. Some nannies have bigger mouths than you think. You are not doing anything on the sly.

[Anonymous]

You're not making any sense, 20:57.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if people approach my nanny or not, but I wouldn't be surprised. She's terrific and clearly quite competent. She's also happy in her job.

She knows that she is free to find something else if needs to, that when (very early on) she mentioned concerns to us we remedied the ones we could and told her what we couldn't do (offer her a live-in position). We told her that if she really needed a live-in position we'd understand but we just couldn't do that.

She's not legally bound to us - if she can/does/needs to find something better (in whatever way) she is free to do so. We pay fairly, offer great benefits, support her in every way we can personally, and consider her a loved member of our extended family. So I think we're a good fit for her. But all of that could change.

I can't put up some perimeter that prevents her from being approached. I can only trust that she is experienced enough to handle inquiries, experienced enough to know what works for her, and happy in what we're offering.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to approach their husbands and see how they like it. They don't "own" them, right?

[Anonymous]

If you don't understand the difference between a husband and an employee, there is no hope for you, 13:24.