Night terrors?
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Anonymous
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My charge just turned 1 this month. For the past 4-5 weeks, whenever he has an afternoon nap (as opposed to late morning, which he prefers) he "wakes up" hysterical. He isn't actually awake, however he is screaming like the hounds of hell are after him. I've tried rubbing his back, soft words and lately, scooping him up and letting him finish out his nap in my arms. He settles down after 5/10 min but shudders his little body the entire time. It's breaking my heart. I've brought it up several times to MB but she just blows it off. Yesterday I brought it up again and that I've resorted to holding him to finish his nap and she put the brakes on that. Said he is to only sleep in his bed. She is, rightfully, my boss and I need to respect her wishes and requests but it is going to rip my heart out listening to this baby cry hysterically and not be able to scoop him up. I asked her if he does this for his weekend nap and she said yes, but they just ignore it.
So I need some new tricks and tips to get baby past this. Has anyone dealt with charges and night terrors? |
Anonymous
| You do not obey orders when those orders are hurting the child. You do what the child needs. The behavior you discrib is not normal. Something has happened to him. Trust your instincts here. |
Anonymous
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There's no need to hold the baby for the remainder of his nap once the night terror is over, especially if MB has told you to stop.
I do think that attending to the baby during the night terror is reasonable. I used to respond to night terrors when I had charges experiencing them. Most of the time I was able to quietly sing or "shhh" while rubbing a back (if the child tolerated it) until the night terror was over. They usually wrapped up in less than 5 minutes but would occasionally get close to the 10 minute mark. I've never had a child that young with night terrors, but you could still do the rubbing or patting of his back and soft words or song to help him through it. He truly won't remember if you're there or not. Just make sure he's in his crib once the night terror has subsided if you choose to take him out to soothe him. If MB wants him staying in the crib during the night terror do your comfort routine while keeping him in it. It'll be a little uncomfortable, but you'll still be attending to him. The screaming is tough, but it won't go on forever. |
Anonymous
Have you ever actually taken care of a child experiencing a night terror? Nothing has happened to the child to bring on the screaming. I've never had a child recall the episode upon waking up. Keeping the child in the crib is not harming the child. Night terrors happen to some kids. With most of the kids I've had who've experienced them they come about during times the child is overtired or stressed (for older kids). OP said it only happens during an afternoon nap rather than the preferred late morning nap. It sounds like the baby is starting to transition to a one-nap/day schedule. If so it's most likely being brought on by being overtired at the start of the afternoon nap. My hunch is that the night terrors will pass once he has adjusted to having a later nap. OP...is he transitioning to a later nap? If so, has the transition been gradual? |
Anonymous
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OP here, yes he's transitioning to one nap a day and it's been brutal. He wakes around 630 and by 930 is an absolute mess crying to go to sleep. He used to go back to bed at 830, so I've had a margin of success pushing it back as far as it is so far. MB would like for both kids to be on a 12/1230-3/330 nap schedule. Her oldest DC goes to preschool and that's his schedule. She'd like baby on the same one so they can get out of the house on the weekends, etc.
For a couple of weeks I was letting him have a short morning nap (less than an hour) but that totally backfired as then he wouldn't sleep at all the rest of the day. He's also a new walker and cutting 2 bottom teeth ATM. Poor thing is just a hot ball of a mess 
Anyway, I think you're probably right in that he's overtired when he lays down and that triggers these terrors. Back to the drawing board to get these naps sorted out. |
Anonymous
| Letting kids get overtired is brutal. |
Anonymous
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If he just turned one he might not be fully ready to make it until 12 or 12:30 for a nap. It's still a bit young to be going 6 hours between waking and napping. Does your MB want this nap thing to happen asap? The poor little guy might need a couple more months before he is ready to have his one nap be after lunch. What have you successfully pushed it back to so far?
You said he is crying and ready to nap at 9:30. Can you try keeping him out of the house and busy at this time to distract him? Can you try for a 10:30/11am nap for a couple of weeks and push it back from there? |
Anonymous
OP- she wanted the nap change to be finished by his birthday. Most days by 1015 he's inconsolable, laying on the carpet, rubbing his eyes and blanket. I take him on outings 3 days a week in the morning and without fail he passes out in his carseat and then doesn't nap the rest of the day. He has terrible overall sleeping habits. I've posted before about it (he's the no crib baby) and there's no boundaries keeping him on his mat. Up until 10mos he was allowed to just wake up and play, so he never learned to put himself back to sleep afte one sleep cycle. He's gotten better about going to sleep initially, is still terrible about staying asleep and it's frustrating to me as the kid is tired most of the day. I leave at 6 and they put him to bed no later than 615 |
Anonymous
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Has MB expressed why she is so adamant about him going down to one nap? I just really seems as though he is not ready at all, and at 1 that is perfectly normal. I would go to MB with your concerns and let her know that it is just not working.
Alternately, is MB home with you during the day? If not, I would just put him down when he is tired...sleep is more important for a 1 year old than outings. I get that she may want both of her children to nap at the same time on the weekends but perhaps that is something she needs to handle on her own. You shouldn't have to torture the poor guy for her convenience. |
Anonymous
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Sounds like naps are the issue. My two were still taking two naps a day until about 20 mths old.
I would stress the need for sleep, and the direct correlation w/ behavior, rather than the night terrors. Some kids also just need more slepe. |