MB lost her job

[Anonymous]

I have been with my family for over a year. The MB lost her job a week ago. I really feel bad for her, but she is receiving a fantastic severance package. I agreed to work with them and I am down to half my original paycheck. They told me that this is only temporary, so I (and MB) are hoping this only lasts a few weeks.

With MB's severance, she has time to look for the perfect job for her, but I can't last that long on only half of my original paycheck. She told me today that she is hoping to find a position in a few months. That's a long time for me. The kicker is that they won't give me a good reference if I leave for another position since I already told them that I would stick around (even though MB originally told me she would be out of work MAXIMUM one month).

My question is this: do I stick this out until MB gets a job again (because unemployment is less than I am making), OR do I look for another position that can pay me my regular hours?

[Anonymous]

I think that it is very generous (possibly too much so!) that you agreed to cut down your paycheck. If you want to try and stick it out and stay with them then you should give them a firm deadline "I can only accept this pay rate for another 4 weeks, before I'll have to look for another job myself"

However, I don't like that they told you they won't give you a good reference letter if you leave, This is their problem to deal with, not yours. You already being very accommodating. A fair family would've approached you and asked you to temporarily take the pay cut, but would tell you they would understand if you had to look elsewhere. "Unfortunately we can't pay this rate for the time being, we would love to keep you but can only afford this amount for now. We understand if this won't work for you and would gladly be a reference". Honestly, they way they seem to be handling this would leave a bad taste in my mouth.

If I were you I would start looking for a new job ASAP, if you get an offer, give your two weeks and move on the better things.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't seem to understand that this is a struggle for you. You're really nice to try and work with them but I think she's taking advantage of your kindness. I'd tell her the truth...you just can't pay your bills on half the salary, and you can't wait three months. I think I would tell her you can't afford to do this for more than, say, a month. That way you're giving her a chance, and a good notice period. Tell her it's nothing personal but you're going to be evicted or something similar, so she can't get angry at you for going (even though you have every right to.)

[Anonymous]

I thinkyou made a HUGE mistake in taking such a severe pay cut. Honestly, you need to look for another job but I don't know how to salvage the reference after you screwed up so badly with this position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thinkyou made a HUGE mistake in taking such a severe pay cut. Honestly, you need to look for another job but I don't know how to salvage the reference after you screwed up so badly with this position.

Yes, OP made a mistake with the reference letter. No need to say it so rudely, I think she is well aware. Some people in this world still give others the benefit of the doubt, and she was probably a little thrown off in the initial conversation (I would be) and was trying to be nice and understanding to someone in an unfortunate situation.

However, OP, it is time to stand up for yourself now since MB doesn't seem too keen to return the generosity and empathy you have given her. Most likely, you'll be better off looking for a new job. If you can't get a reference letter then it isn't the end of the world. I've gotten jobs without reference letters before (gave contact info but they were never used anyways).

Good Luck, OP! Let us know how it all works out!

[Anonymous]

OP here, I know I screwed up with the reference. I was just taken way off guard when MB originally told me what happened.

[Anonymous]

OP here again, MB keeps telling me that she and DB will "make it up to me." I know they want me to stay but I'm starting to feel trapped. I am going to start applying to jobs once I get home because I don't know how long this will last.

[Anonymous]

Cutting pay in half is rididculous unless she plans to reimburse you after she is employed again. My mom raised three kids alone and worked at temp agencies and as a social worker. We could barely get by but she never docked out babysitter's paycheck when money was tight.

[Anonymous]

Start quietly looking for a new position. See what is out there, but don't make any serious inquiries for a couple of weeks. Your MB might get really, really lucky and find a new position in the next couple of weeks. If so, problem solved.

There isn't much you can do about the mistakes already made...a) agreeing to a reduction in salary b) not speaking up about being threatened with them withholding a reference if you were to leave

If she has received a fantastic severance package they were foolish to ask you to reduce your pay so quickly. Her immediate financial circumstances haven't changed. It sounds like they asked to reduce your salary with the thought that in case it takes MB awhile to find a new job they want to save where they can now b/c eventually the severance pay will be gone/used-up. My gut is that MB is giving you a line about expecting to find a new job quickly...unless she already has some promising leads (which is doesn't sound like she does if she is talking about taking her time finding the "perfect" job).

As a PP suggested you need to sit down with your employers and talk about the length of time you are willing to accept a pay reduction. Set a firm end date and let them know that this greatly affects your finances, and at some point (say 4 weeks from now) you will have to ensure that you are back to collecting a full time salary...whether it is from them or someone else. Acknowledge that while you're happy that she is in a financial position to take her time finding a perfect job you're not in a position to wait consider you've been hit with a 50% paycut.

They are kidding themselves if they think they can just cut your pay in half indefinitely. As hard as it would be to walk away without a reference you might have to do that. It could easily be explained in an interview that you are unable to continue working for them due to having your pay cut in half indefinitely while your employer looks for a new job, and your decision to seek a f/t paycheck has soured the working relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been with my family for over a year. The MB lost her job a week ago. I really feel bad for her, but she is receiving a fantastic severance package. I agreed to work with them and I am down to half my original paycheck. They told me that this is only temporary, so I (and MB) are hoping this only lasts a few weeks.

With MB's severance, she has time to look for the perfect job for her, but I can't last that long on only half of my original paycheck. She told me today that she is hoping to find a position in a few months. That's a long time for me. The kicker is that they won't give me a good reference if I leave for another position since I already told them that I would stick around (even though MB originally told me she would be out of work MAXIMUM one month).

My question is this: do I stick this out until MB gets a job again (because unemployment is less than I am making), OR do I look for another position that can pay me my regular hours?

You are really getting screwed. Keep looking for a new job without the reference, and try to pick better next time. What they're doing to you is really abusive.

[Anonymous]

Maybe since yo are getting paid half you could work half days. She could job search and go on interviews while you're there, then you could work half days with another family to make up some of the money. Bizarre, but it could keep you afloat between now and when she gets her new job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe since yo are getting paid half you could work half days. She could job search and go on interviews while you're there, then you could work half days with another family to make up some of the money. Bizarre, but it could keep you afloat between now and when she gets her new job.

+1 MB here, I hope you are not working full-time for half the pay, OP. I would never ask an employee to do that.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I am working part time now, but for the same hourly pay. I still have to get all of the housework done though, so I am pressed for time.

[Anonymous]

OP, these parents sound like they've been very fair with you. They cut your hours, not your rate. Yes, this affects your take home pay, but you do have the option of seeking additional part time work and asking your original family to modify your hours as needed to make the other job work.

As for the reference issue, I don't see anything in your post to indicate that the family wouldn't give you a good reference if you leave before the MB finds a new job. That sounds like paranoid speculation on your part. I suspect if you find a job, give them appropriate notice, and explain to them that you just couldn't get by on half your income, they will understand and do right by you.

In the meantime, if you like your job and would prefer to keep it (albeit on your original schedule), explain your financial needs and ask the MB if she can promote you through her neighborhood listserv and social circles to help you find supplemental work until she finds a new job.

[Anonymous]

Did they actually say, "If you leave we won't give you a good reference!"? They would have to be totally crazy/vindictive people to try to screw you like that.

Can you talk to them and say, "I love working for you and I really don't want to leave you in a lurch- but I was wrong to think I could sustain my expenses and bills on this salary. I'm going to have to find new work by (whatever date)."

You're a human being. You have a life outside their home. They would have to be nutso to not understand.