How to reinvigorate AP relationship before start of school year?

[Anonymous]

I feel like we need to hold a pep rally to get AP energized for the school year.

I definitely feel like we are in the dog days of summer. AP is suffering from a lack of enthusiasm (other than for her upcoming vacation). There are a lot of causes for this, I think. Partly it is that the summer is a slog at a certain point. Partly, we have had some very annoying car/home maintenance issues that have affected her directly (car breakdowns while she was driving, leakage issues in her bathroom). Partly, I think, an effect of her parents' visit (she seems to have reverted to a sulky teenager personality at times). Partly, just her personality.

She is heading off separately on her own 2-week vacation as we head off too. I feel like I would like to inspire a "fresh start" for the beginning of school. We have 4 months to go with this AP. I find myself looking forward to finishing up with her and starting afresh with someone new (we did not feel this way with our last AP).

We will schedule a meeting with her to talk about the transition to the school year and expectations and to hear from her about how she thinks things are going and any concerns she has.

Can anyone share ideas of how to get her psyched up to do her best this fall?

[Anonymous]

OP here -

Thought I would add some examples of lack of enthusiasm:
- lack of any participation in dinner conversation (except when directly asked a question)
- lack of creativity in scheduling kids' afternoons (they are in camp in the mornings)
- general demeanor of being bored by it all

[Anonymous]

OP, I'll be watching this thread. We have had similar issues with our au pair, who we also have 3-4 months left with. She has never been a great au pair, but lately she is very unenthusiastic about anything unless it relates to hanging out with her friends. Then suddenly she's very engaged and excited. We also have our kids in summer camp in the morning and she has been complaining that they are bored in the afternoons despite my giving her lists of things they could be doing.

I'm also counting down the days until she leaves, which I've never done with past au pairs. Sorry I don't have anything to contribute! I'm right there with you though.

[Anonymous]

No one has ideas? I've got the same issues. I came home early to complete silence the other day. One kid reading and the other on the DS (one hour of screen time a day). It freaked me out! The lack of creativity is killing me. I am so glad that I signed the kids up for daycamps - because at least they are getting some activities. I'm Ok with a little down time after camp, but the whole afternoon?

[Anonymous]

I have an AP who has the kids in the afternoon only too. She has generally been taking them to the pool or on a short outing like minigolf or frozen yogurt. She hasn't shown much initiative on getting playdates together, but oh well.

I think a family outing with all of you might help. Occassionally we take our AP out to lunch on a weekend and it is nice to talk to her about schedules changing, school activities, her upcoming travel month, her friends, remaining classwork, the car and such at a time when we aren't all just off of working all day.

[Anonymous]

I had the same issues with our last AP and all I can say is "rematch now". I knew that she let the kids rule the roost last summer when she was new (I was gone on deployment) and she was totally lackluster the remainder of the year although whenever we addressed an issue, she would improve temporarily so we never got to the rematch stage, but I really wish we had. Once this summer started, I had to map out activities for every day. I actually caught her arguing with my 5 year old about going to a "play date" which was really a thinly veiled hang out with her friend while both were working. I had to forbid her from taking my kids there against their will!

If you are truly counting the days, 90 or more is too many to keep counting. If its less than a month, that's one thing. We're talking 25-33% of your paid for Au Pair year. Rematch.