New, scared nanny. Please help!
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Anonymous
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So I'm starting my fist nannying job this weekend and I'm having major reservations. I know that it's usually the parents who are afraid for their children when they're being entrusted with strangers, but I feel like I'm in the opposite circumstance. The mom is overly trusting of me and I'm really inexperienced and getting more nervous with each passing hour.
A little background on the job: I responded to the mother's ad on a babysitting website, and she scheduled an interview pretty much right away. We met in public for it (which she wanted, a good idea), and I thought I bombed it because I was really honest about my not-quite-open schedule and not being sure if I could be available whenever she wanted me. However, she called me a week or so later and said she thought I was the best candidate. We're going to meet again and go over the contract, but she hasn't asked me for a background check (which I could do and it would come up clean), references or anything. Anyway my very first 'job'--I hesitate to call it that because it's caring for a child, but I can't think of another word--will be a stay-over three day weekend in her small apartment with just me and the kid. I'm not afraid of the kid or tantrums or anything, but I'm feeling a bit sketched out. I already don't like sleeping by myself and rely on my long-term boyfriend for comfort at night, and sleeping in a stranger's house will be a whole new level of discomfort for me. Also, I don't know how the mom can afford nannying if she's unemployed, going to a tech school, and can only live in a small apartment with her daughter. Is this some kind of trap? I'm just scared :/ I need the money and I don't want to pass up a perfectly good opportunity if it is one, but I don't want to put my life in danger either. She seemed perfectly normal at the interview, but I guess you can never tell. I might feel better if I had a locking bedroom to myself but since it's a one-room apt, I doubt that I will. I'll probably be sleeping on the couch. Nannies and parents--is this normal? Should I call back and quit? I'd feel awful dong so but I don't want my anxiety getting in the way of the kid receiving proper care. I know that I'm a trustworthy person, but there's no way for the mother to know that and something just feels wrong. Is it me? I shouldn't feel prejudiced against struggling single moms because I was raised by one, but I'd feel much more comfortable if the family were obviously well-off and obviously had a reason and the funds to get a nanny as opposed to daycare. Thank you for your help! |
Anonymous
| So wait, she didn't do a check? Or talk to references? And you start an overnight this weekend? You told your "long term boyfriend" all of this and he is OK with this??? |
Anonymous
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OP here. No he's not okay with it. Or more accurately, he'd prefer that I didn't go. But he won't stop me if I decide to go because he's pretty sheltered and trusting. Not to rag on him, that's just how he is.
Yes to everything else. I assume you're saying the situation has a bunch of red flags? I really am new to nannying and I don't know what is common or uncommon and what situations are dangerous 
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Anonymous
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Did you dicuss pay/salary? How much is she paying you?
Just to be clear, you are going over there this weekend to stay with the little one by yourself? |
Anonymous
| We did discuss pay--400 for the weekend, 9 an hour otherwise. I will be by myself, she will be gone the whole weekend. |
Anonymous
| By myself with the kid that is. |
Anonymous
| I cannot fathom a mom leaving her child with a total stranger for an entire weekend right off the bat. It does not smell right. |
Anonymous
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I think you are wise to question how she can afford this when she is unemployed and lives in a 1 bedroom apartment.
Are you to get paid upfront, or at the end of the weekend? |
Anonymous
| Tell her you can't do it. Period. |
Anonymous
You were the best candidate because you were the cheapest. Get paid, in cash, up front. Otherwise he's likely to write you a bad check or just not pay you. Make sure discussion of job hours/pay is documented. |
Anonymous
| If you want to nanny you have to start somewhere to gain experience. A red flag for me is the fact that she hired you without doing a background check- being that you will be staying in her home all weekend with just her child. When you go to discuss the contract, I'd make sure you are clear what the hours are and her expectations. $400 isn't terrible, but does that include overtime? What does the mom do for work that she is gone for such an extended amount of time? It all sounds a little off. If you boyfriend isn't a fan of this job, there are plenty of other nanny/mothers helpers jobs that might pay you more money without you having to sleep in a strangers house. Where are you located OP? |
Anonymous
| Your* |
Anonymous
| Why on earth did you accept the job? You're wasting this woman's time |
Anonymous
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I'm an MB. I would never hire a nanny without doing more research/background checks/references etc... than she did on you.
I would never have a nanny start by having a 3 day gig. I would overlap w/ the nanny at first, ensure a good relationship between the nanny and the child(ren), ensure my own trust/comfort level in leaving my child w/ the nanny, ensure the nanny's comfort level in knowing our routines, preferences, household rules, etc... What your describing sounds nuts. I can't imagine a responsible parent leaving their child w/ a stranger for 3 days. And what she is offering is NOWHERE near market rates. If you were my friend (or my former nanny) I think I would be telling you to run the other way. |
Anonymous
| Either OP is a troll or really not so bright. |