Why are the majority of the posters on this forum assholes?

[Anonymous]

Is it just the internet in general? The DC area? Or the fact that the forum is anonymous?

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the real world.

[Anonymous]

Because it's more fun that way.

[Anonymous]

Because I think the anonymity allows people to express their frustrations and judgements in a safe place. I've had my fair share of catty comments, sometimes you just need an outlet. It's not fair, or right, but few things in life really are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the real world.

Sorry my friend, the internet is not the real world. However, with the hours you spend on it you may be confused.

[Anonymous]

I think it is the deep-seated anger of a very few downtrodden nannies who may or may not work in the DC area. There is plenty of snark on the main DCUM forums, but nothing that approaches the nasty stupidity that is rampant on the nanny side of the website. Sadly, the bad apple nannies derail most threads by drowning out the sane nanny voices and disgusting employers to the point where most no longer bother to follow threads that are not their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is the deep-seated anger of a very few downtrodden nannies who may or may not work in the DC area. There is plenty of snark on the main DCUM forums, but nothing that approaches the nasty stupidity that is rampant on the nanny side of the website. Sadly, the bad apple nannies derail most threads by drowning out the sane nanny voices and disgusting employers to the point where most no longer bother to follow threads that are not their own.

Nice try, but a majority of the snark, entitlement and general bitchiness on here seems to come from the MB side, case in point.

[Anonymous]

I attribute the nastiness primarily to the anonymity of the forum. It allows people to be as negative, or blunt, or opinionated as they feel like being without having to be accountable in any way for their words. I think there are some angry and bored nannies and parents here - I don't think it's just one group (and I bet it's probably a pretty even split).

The anonymity means you can't tell whether it's a handful of unhappy/nasty people who are just incredibly frequent posters, or whether it's a large group of people commenting on any given issue.

Also, the nature of solely written communication is that it is inherently prone to misperception of tone or intent - so well-meaning people can unwittingly say something that gets interpreted differently than they intended, and that can derail a thread.

And I do think there are a handful of people who get a kick out of triggering flame wars. Not sure why but nothing to do about it except try not to participate if you can differentiate a genuine question from a troll post.

I'm an MB and I've been on the board since last Fall. I was so excited to find a place to share questions/info/ideas etc... about having a nanny for our kids. But I was appalled at a significant chunk of the content.

Sometimes I've found the board really helpful, sometimes I feel like I've been able to help others or say something useful, and sometimes I've been sucked into responding emotionally to a thread or comment that I probably should have just ignored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I attribute the nastiness primarily to the anonymity of the forum. It allows people to be as negative, or blunt, or opinionated as they feel like being without having to be accountable in any way for their words. I think there are some angry and bored nannies and parents here - I don't think it's just one group (and I bet it's probably a pretty even split).

The anonymity means you can't tell whether it's a handful of unhappy/nasty people who are just incredibly frequent posters, or whether it's a large group of people commenting on any given issue.

Also, the nature of solely written communication is that it is inherently prone to misperception of tone or intent - so well-meaning people can unwittingly say something that gets interpreted differently than they intended, and that can derail a thread.

And I do think there are a handful of people who get a kick out of triggering flame wars. Not sure why but nothing to do about it except try not to participate if you can differentiate a genuine question from a troll post.

I'm an MB and I've been on the board since last Fall. I was so excited to find a place to share questions/info/ideas etc... about having a nanny for our kids. But I was appalled at a significant chunk of the content.

Sometimes I've found the board really helpful, sometimes I feel like I've been able to help others or say something useful, and sometimes I've been sucked into responding emotionally to a thread or comment that I probably should have just ignored.

Great post. I'm a nanny and I completely agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the real world.

Sorry my friend, the internet is not the real world. However, with the hours you spend on it you may be confused.

I love it when people call others out for being on here so much..but they are here responding so they're just as guilty. Get a clue, PP. You're just as awful as the rest of us!

[Anonymous]

It's mostly the area. People are much more cut throat, ambitious, have very high standards and little tolerance for people who don't live up to them.

But specifically online, people will say what others are thinking, and they don't sugar coat it. It's a harsh realization, but it's good to know what peope are really thinking. There are so many posts about how hard it is to make friends around here. Well...just read a few threads to find out exactly what people are thinking and you'll understand why you aren't being given the time of day. You can stop wondering and move on.

[Anonymous]

I think it's mostly bitter nannies, no joke, and I say this as a long time poster who is a nanny. The amount of negativity at times towards a parent asking for advice is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I attribute the nastiness primarily to the anonymity of the forum. It allows people to be as negative, or blunt, or opinionated as they feel like being without having to be accountable in any way for their words. I think there are some angry and bored nannies and parents here - I don't think it's just one group (and I bet it's probably a pretty even split).

The anonymity means you can't tell whether it's a handful of unhappy/nasty people who are just incredibly frequent posters, or whether it's a large group of people commenting on any given issue.

Also, the nature of solely written communication is that it is inherently prone to misperception of tone or intent - so well-meaning people can unwittingly say something that gets interpreted differently than they intended, and that can derail a thread.

And I do think there are a handful of people who get a kick out of triggering flame wars. Not sure why but nothing to do about it except try not to participate if you can differentiate a genuine question from a troll post.

I'm an MB and I've been on the board since last Fall. I was so excited to find a place to share questions/info/ideas etc... about having a nanny for our kids. But I was appalled at a significant chunk of the content.

Sometimes I've found the board really helpful, sometimes I feel like I've been able to help others or say something useful, and sometimes I've been sucked into responding emotionally to a thread or comment that I probably should have just ignored.

I agree with this.