MB's: wwyd about this pay issue?

[Anonymous]

I posted an ad on sittercity for a casual babysitter who I would use on a weekly basis for evenings out etc. After a couple of emails back and forth with this particular woman we set up sort of a working interview. I have no reason to think she wouldn't work out, but I would just be home for the first time and let her watch the kids while I do things around the house and she would be our sitter from them on. Everything is set; she has my number, address, the time and date etc. and then decides to email me saying that we never discussed pay and she charges x amount.

She's right -- we never discussed pay and I feel really stupid about not bringing it up. However, I clearly stated in my ad (which she replied to), the dollar amount that I am willing to pay.

I have an uncomfortable feeling about this, it just seems very unprofessional. I'm not sure if this is a tactic to get me to agree to the higher rate since it's so last minute, or if she somehow skipped over that part of add where I stated what the hourly rate would be.

I do have 2 other good options I could contact (and I will be sure to bring up the pay next time) but before doing that, I would like to know what other moms think about this situation?

[Anonymous]

If it's not within your pay range, let her know that you're not prepared to pay her rate. If she declines or argues, move on to the next one. At this point, you don't owe her anything.

[Anonymous]

You both dropped the ball, not just her. You also should have been prepared to negotiate, as most sitters will take the rate you list in the ad with a grain of salt. Also you said this was a working interview. She very well may feel that she hasn't accepted the job yet and is still free to negotiate. You can move on or not, but realize that your other options will also likely try to negotiate. She has just as much a right to set her rates as you do. It's just the way this industry works. You would presume to tell a plumber, chef or gardener how much they will work for would you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You both dropped the ball, not just her. You also should have been prepared to negotiate, as most sitters will take the rate you list in the ad with a grain of salt. Also you said this was a working interview. She very well may feel that she hasn't accepted the job yet and is still free to negotiate. You can move on or not, but realize that your other options will also likely try to negotiate. She has just as much a right to set her rates as you do. It's just the way this industry works. You would presume to tell a plumber, chef or gardener how much they will work for would you?

*wouldn't presume

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You both dropped the ball, not just her. You also should have been prepared to negotiate, as most sitters will take the rate you list in the ad with a grain of salt. Also you said this was a working interview. She very well may feel that she hasn't accepted the job yet and is still free to negotiate. You can move on or not, but realize that your other options will also likely try to negotiate. She has just as much a right to set her rates as you do. It's just the way this industry works. You would presume to tell a plumber, chef or gardener how much they will work for would you?

Not exactly the same situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both dropped the ball, not just her. You also should have been prepared to negotiate, as most sitters will take the rate you list in the ad with a grain of salt. Also you said this was a working interview. She very well may feel that she hasn't accepted the job yet and is still free to negotiate. You can move on or not, but realize that your other options will also likely try to negotiate. She has just as much a right to set her rates as you do. It's just the way this industry works. You would presume to tell a plumber, chef or gardener how much they will work for would you?

Not exactly the same situation.

Exactly the same situation. The only difference is that a plumber isn't going bring his rate or fee up. He'll perform the service and expect payment.

[Anonymous]

Career nanny here. I usually bring up pay at an interview. I think we should get to know each other a bit. You can see my qualifications and if we are a good fit. I can see what the job entails. I wouldn't respond to an ad that was significantly below my rates, but I would respond to an ad that was slightly below my rates. You may decide that I am worth the extra cost. You may decide that you simply can't pay that much. More nannies do charge more and if I were hitting someone to take care of my children, I would want to what my choices were. I wouldn't be upset about it, but I would look more closely at your other options. So a few interviews, not working interviews, and call references, then make your decision.

[Anonymous]

Well, lesson learned for the future but for now trust your gut. If you have other good options and want to move on that's fine. Having stated your rate in the ad does mean that you addressed compensation in some way - just not as fully as really needs to be done. So it's perfectly reasonable to say "You're right, we should have confirmed rates, but as I stated in my ad this is what I'm prepared to pay. When you responded and accepted the interview I did assume that the rate was ok w/ you." Depending on how she handles the conversation maybe you want to still consider her, or maybe not. But you don't owe her anything and if you get a bad feeling then consider it a good thing to have discovered that before anyone was invested in the relationship.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both dropped the ball, not just her. You also should have been prepared to negotiate, as most sitters will take the rate you list in the ad with a grain of salt. Also you said this was a working interview. She very well may feel that she hasn't accepted the job yet and is still free to negotiate. You can move on or not, but realize that your other options will also likely try to negotiate. She has just as much a right to set her rates as you do. It's just the way this industry works. You would presume to tell a plumber, chef or gardener how much they will work for would you?

Not exactly the same situation.

How is it not the same situation? They are all service people working for multiple clients on an ad hoc basis. An occasional sitter is no more your employee than any other service person you call to perform a service as needed. She sets her rates just as they would. She doesn't become an employee until you reach the pay threshold as defined by the IRS, which you likely wouldn't meet for your sitter.

[Anonymous]

Its a little manipulative but not as bad as showing up and then asking for the higher rate. The nanny saw the rate and knew that she charged a higher rate. She didn't bring it up in the first interview because she knew you would probably pass on her. She is hoping that after several communications and having everything set up that you give in and pay the higher rate rather than waste the time you just spent.

I had the same experience with nannies who were not legal to work answering our ad. My ad was very clear and I restated this requirement in the beginning of phone screenings. I went as far as the second interview with one before she admitted that her visa didn't allow her to work. She was hoping that I would change my mind. Frankly, I really liked her but a nanny isn't worth risking our employment and there were plenty of other nannies.

OP- just pass on her. "As my ad stated, we are offering X amount not Y. I am sorry that you didn't bring this earlier to avoid wasting both our time. I wish you luck finding other positions. "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both dropped the ball, not just her. You also should have been prepared to negotiate, as most sitters will take the rate you list in the ad with a grain of salt. Also you said this was a working interview. She very well may feel that she hasn't accepted the job yet and is still free to negotiate. You can move on or not, but realize that your other options will also likely try to negotiate. She has just as much a right to set her rates as you do. It's just the way this industry works. You would presume to tell a plumber, chef or gardener how much they will work for would you?

Not exactly the same situation.

Exactly the same situation. The only difference is that a plumber isn't going bring his rate or fee up. He'll perform the service and expect payment.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both dropped the ball, not just her. You also should have been prepared to negotiate, as most sitters will take the rate you list in the ad with a grain of salt. Also you said this was a working interview. She very well may feel that she hasn't accepted the job yet and is still free to negotiate. You can move on or not, but realize that your other options will also likely try to negotiate. She has just as much a right to set her rates as you do. It's just the way this industry works. You would presume to tell a plumber, chef or gardener how much they will work for would you?

Not exactly the same situation.

Exactly the same situation. The only difference is that a plumber isn't going bring his rate or fee up. He'll perform the service and expect payment.

Actually I've negotiated with plumbers before if they were doing several services at one time I negotiated a lower rate. I also always ask rates ahead of time and if I think it's too high I wouldn't hire them. Same goes for A gardner, painter, etc.

[Anonymous]

I agree, OP, that it is unprofessional of the sitter not to bring up her rate if it was different than what was clearly stated in your ad. It sounds like she is hoping you will like her, now that you have invested time in pursuing her, and will pay more for her. Just reiterate what you are willing to pay and tell her she is free to move on if she doesn't like it. Do this before the working interview so you don't waste more time on her if she is going to continue to challenge your rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both dropped the ball, not just her. You also should have been prepared to negotiate, as most sitters will take the rate you list in the ad with a grain of salt. Also you said this was a working interview. She very well may feel that she hasn't accepted the job yet and is still free to negotiate. You can move on or not, but realize that your other options will also likely try to negotiate. She has just as much a right to set her rates as you do. It's just the way this industry works. You would presume to tell a plumber, chef or gardener how much they will work for would you?

Not exactly the same situation.

Exactly the same situation. The only difference is that a plumber isn't going bring his rate or fee up. He'll perform the service and expect payment.

Actually I've negotiated with plumbers before if they were doing several services at one time I negotiated a lower rate. I also always ask rates ahead of time and if I think it's too high I wouldn't hire them. Same goes for A gardner, painter, etc.

Exactly! You negotiated with them. You didn't tell them what you are going to pay them and then act miffed when they say my rate is $X. The sitter should have been more up front about her rate, but there is nothing wrong with her telling you her rate and expecting to negotiate something that works for you both.

[Anonymous]

People saying this is manipulative are taking it too personally. It's called negotiating.