Thoughts on my situation today.
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Anonymous
| I have been working with my current family for about 9 weeks. This is my first FT nanny job so there is a lot of ground I still am trying to figure out. It's been good, MB and DB seem nice but not overly friendly which works out good since I'm fairly introverted. I usually arrive at their house around 6am, MB usually leaves around 6:15. The baby is almost always awake, and then when the toddler wakes up I get him out of bed, fed and dressed. DB leaves around 9, and usually is awake by 8:00. Today he was still in bed by 8:30, and I was conflicted. I continued on with my day, assuming that maybe DB was sick today or was going in later. It's about 9:30 when DB comes in LIVID! He is cursing at himself, and then looks at me and said, "Is their a reason you didn't feel it was necessary to let me know I was an HOUR late to work?" I kind of was shocked, and said something along the lines of I thought he wasn't going to go to work today. He said, "Do you think you'd be here if I were going to stay?" I said, sorry and that I thought he may be sick and that I didn't want to intrude into his bedroom if he was sick (by the way, I never go into their bedroom, especially when one of them is in it!) He kind of scoffed, went into the kitchen, called his boss and was cussing and talking under his breath. I know he was mad, and I'm sure it was just displayed anger. However, it really really hurt my feelings and I couldn't' help but cry a bit. He ignored me and then left. I sent him a long text apologizing and saying I didn't feel like it was my place to go into his bedroom and wake him up, and he sent me a text back saying, "It doesn't take much skill level to realize if someone oversleeps, you wake them up." I just never texted back. I felt horrible about it all day, and when MB got home she said she was sorry DB was rude to me but seemed bit upset. My question is, do you think I should have gone in and woke him up? I really feel uncomfortable going into their bedroom, I don't feel like that's my job to get DB up on time. On the other hand, I've had situations when I oversleep and it sucks to be late. Thoughts? |
Anonymous
| Novelist. |
Anonymous
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Don't feel bad OP. It doesn't take much skill level to realize that as an adult, you get yourself up and if you don't do it on time, that there is no one to blame but yourself. He had no right to yell at you, and it was NOT your job to wake a grown man up.
He should invest in an alarm clock that has dual alarm functions. Then if he oversleeps the first, the second can go off and wake him up. If he oversleeps both, then he must really need sleep and should take some time off work (or go in late). |
Anonymous
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Run, don't walk. If it were me, I would have made some sort of rude comment about it doesn't take much skill level to set an alarm...
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Anonymous
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You did nothing wrong, OP. It is not your place to wake up another adult unless he has specifically asked you to.
It sounds like something else might be going on with the DB--illness, maybe, or a work issue that kept him up late. He will probably come around tomorrow and realize he is waaaay off base. If the MB seemed a little upset when she apologized to you, it is probably because she realizes her DH is totally wrong but she's trying to be loyal to him. |
Anonymous
Leave, and quickly. |
Anonymous
Sorry that should read "+1000 Leave, and quickly." |
Anonymous
| He's a grown man, not an 11 year old. You're also not his mommy. When he gave his initial "Is there a reason...?" question to you, your answer should have been, "Yes, because I take care of the children. You're an adult, so I figured you manage your life like one." |
Anonymous
| I'm an MB here and I think what he did is totally inappropriate. It's not your responsibility in any way to make sure he gets up on time. Maybe he didn't have to go to work until later that day and what if you had woken him up when he didn't need to get up. I really think he needs to apologize to you. You need to stop apologizing to him since you did absolutely nothing wrong. He might be the type of person who blames other people for his own mistakes and if he apologizes to you then I would let it go. I rarely encourage people to quit but if he doesn't apologize I'd strongly consider looking for another job. |
Anonymous
| If that was me I would laugh in his face and tell him well you're going to be even more late because I'm out of here. And I would quit on the spot. If this post is real you need to quit immediately or prepare for situations much worse than this. |
Anonymous
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OP-Here.
Ok, well. I thought I was in the right, but just wanted to make sure. I do not plan on quitting yet, he has displayed behavior like this towards MB so I guess it's just part of his personality. I won't take it to heart, and next time I will stand up for myself. Thanks for the feedback. |
Anonymous
This!! Though I understand that OP is new at this job and was caught off guard. But really OP, you need to request a time to talk with both of your bosses. You deserve an apology. It doesn't matter that his wife allows him to treat her like this, you're not his wife, you're his employee. |
Anonymous
Yes, this! If you let this slide without an apology it will certainly happen again sooner or later. |
Anonymous
| Trollllllllllllllllolololololololollllllll |
Anonymous
| If DB doesn't apologize, you should look for another job. He is a blamer and he will surely blame you again for something that was not your fault. If my DH did this, I would INSIST that he apologize to the nanny. |