older vs younger kids

[Anonymous]

I'm finding I work better with younger kids than older. All my jobs (3 positions)before included newborns to 4 year olds. I'm with a family that has school age children ( 7 to 12) that tend to backchat, scream and generally not listen. I'm constantly having to remind them to do things so many times but I realizing it comes with the territory. I probably don't yet have the expertise to manage school age children. Has anyone experienced this?? what techniques or ways did you use to deal with some of the undesirable older kid issues that came up. ( backtalk, screaming, fighting and all) Just looking to make my job better before I think of leaving.

[Anonymous]

I would take the camera out and let them know I would record their antics and have their parents se first had how they act. Also if there was an outing and they didn't listen, then we didn't go.

[Anonymous]

Why are they screaming? Do they have some sort of disability? That is not normal.

[Anonymous]

Any idea how many nannies/sitters they had before you?

[Anonymous]

Op here. I also don't think its normal but it seems to be a bad habit which has not been addressed. No disability. Dad is somewhat a screamer. Its funny you mention the camera thing. I tried it but felt weird doing it because I was concerned for what the parents would think. Plus their parents know how they act.

[Anonymous]

About 4 or 5 sitters.

[Anonymous]

I too prefer the younger kids, because at least with them most bad behaviors tend to be a result of them just not knowing any better, whereas with older kids, there tends to be more willful disobedience. The kids I'm watching now are 5 and 7, which is right at the high side of ages I like working with.

I find that I have to treat their bad behaviors (whining, screaming, complaining, etc) the same way I would a toddler's temper tantrum. So if a kid is being rude or demanding, I ignore it and they don't get whatever it is they want until after they're able to ask for it nicely and politely. Sometimes when things really escalate, I'll excuse them to another room until they have calmed down enough to be happy members of society again

[Anonymous]

Sorry, the only child that I deal with that acts up has other issues that are the cause of his acting up (which you would consider a disability of some kind). I wouldn't work with kids that don't listen to me.

[Anonymous]

IMO there is a much bigger variance in kid personalities and parenting styles as the kids get younger. I've been surprised when hosting playmates how different the kids are in terms of listening, yelling, level of physical activity. Some kids are very quiet, never him them say anything and move slowly, some even talk loud, are constantly laughing, constantly running, others never listen or question any direction.

[Anonymous]

Meant get older not younger.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, I am with you. I love ages 1-4!! I'm working with 3 kids, ages 2-7 right now, and when I first started about a yr ago, I thought the 7 yr old girl would be the easiest since I had never nannied full-time for elementary aged kids before. Boy, was I wrong!! Not only do they demand much more focused attention and energy (always "bored", the things I come up with have to be grand and fun and some sort of "activity" vs just playing 'house') but I feel like kids these days are growing up SO quickly and backtalk/have an attitude/are disrespectful so much earlier in life than usual! Seriously. My 7-yr-old DC acts like a 13-yr-old sometimes!! It's crazy.

But as far as discipline and managing bad behavior goes, I would NOT threaten them with telling their parents about negative behavior. It will only lessen your own power and undermine your authority ("So my parents will discipline me but not nanny!"). How are their parents with discipline and consistency? Probably not so great, it sounds like. My bosses are wayyy too lenient with DCs, BUT. Kids are smart. They know that what they do around one person (ie mom or dad) may not fly with another person (ie nanny)! With my 7 yr DC, I have flat out said, "you may be able to get away with talking disrespectfully/being rude/whatever the case may be with your parents, but you KNOW that that is not how you will act around me. Otherwise, we won't be able to do any fun things today, and that would make me sad. Wouldn't it make you sad?" etc etc

Other times I ignore, as one PP said; I explain WHY exactly her behavior is wrong/unacceptable (ex hurting her sisters' feelings); and I try to use lots of positive reinforcement!!

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the insight. I do you lots of the techniques that have been suggested. I also find it interesting at how different kids personalities are but for some reason lots of kids are just much more well behaved at someone else's house till you step into their territory. lol. seen it first hand. I will probably sit down again with the parents and see if there is something we could to together and actually finish it in terms of reducing the screaming, temper tantrums from them. Consistency has definitely been an issue. Or maybe this family may just not be right for me! Wish me luck!