Sticky sticker situation

[Anonymous]

I LOVE my MB! She's a great mom and a great boss. Now here's my issue:
All four of my charges act up like crazy the second she walks in the door. It's not only totally unacceptable behavior, but it makes it impossible for MB and i to do the chatting we need to do at the end of the day (yes, we have a log but there's always stuff we still need to talk about). I suggested we start a sticker chart for good behavior during this time and MB suggested we use it all time. So I got the kids excited, picked out prizes, and made up some awesome charts today. Then this evening, I get a text from her thanking me for them and telling me what she gave the kids stickers for. The problem is, instead of a reward for good behavior, she's using them as a bribe. Like, "if you stop throwing a fit and go back into gymnastics, you can have three stickers on your chart." While I do realize she is their mother and can give them whatever she damn pleases, I feel like since we're both using these charts with the kids, they will not be as effective when used this way. I totally love and respect my MB and don't want to cause any tension or make her feel bad. I understand that a working mother of 4 needs to bribe her kids as a survival technique, I just wish it didn't meddle with my nanny style. Should I say anything or just do the chart my way and let her do it her way?

[Anonymous]

You should approach this like a professional.

You should say, "MB, I'm so glad that you like the sticker chart and the kids are responding to it. In my experience these kinds of reward systems only work if there is consistency and transparency, so the kids always know when they have earned a sticker. I was hoping you and I could find a time to talk so we can go over the things we would and would not give them stickers for, to be sure we're on the same page and using them the same way?"

Then, when you sit down with her, you can make your case for using them only as a reward for positive behavior and discuss the language you want to use (does a child get a sticker if they correct their behavior after a warning or only when they do something on their own?) and see what she says.

[Anonymous]

I LOVE my MB! She's a great mom and a great boss. Now here's my issue:
All four of my charges act up like crazy the second she walks in the door. It's not only totally unacceptable behavior, but it makes it impossible for MB and i to do the chatting we need to do at the end of the day (yes, we have a log but there's always stuff we still need to talk about). I suggested we start a sticker chart for good behavior during this time and MB suggested we use it all time. So I got the kids excited, picked out prizes, and made up some awesome charts today. Then this evening, I get a text from her thanking me for them and telling me what she gave the kids stickers for. The problem is, instead of a reward for good behavior, she's using them as a bribe. Like, "if you stop throwing a fit and go back into gymnastics, you can have three stickers on your chart." While I do realize she is their mother and can give them whatever she damn pleases, I feel like since we're both using these charts with the kids, they will not be as effective when used this way. I totally love and respect my MB and don't want to cause any tension or make her feel bad. I understand that a working mother of 4 needs to bribe her kids as a survival technique, I just wish it didn't meddle with my nanny style. Should I say anything or just do the chart my way and let her do it her way?

No. You don't respect, love or understand your MB. You judge her. Own it.