Is this woman poaching my nanny?

[Anonymous]

Hi there,

Thank you for reading this post. My 2yo DS goes to a 1x/wk mommy and me class with our nanny at our church. The class turns into camp and then into nursery school. There is a little girl in the class whose mom has asked our nanny to babysit, which she has at non-conflicting times (telling me after the fact) and who has invited nanny and DS for play dates, which they go to and which i find out about the day of or after the fact. The mom works from home and has not once invited me over, not really engaged with me when I see her at a birthday party or at the class (when I am able to go), not ever asked me first if DS and nanny can go over, etc. The few times we have spoken she tells me how she wished her child was like mine and how great our nanny is.

I am feeling like this woman is oddly stalking us, trying to steal our nanny or has some other agenda but I can't figure it out. It's really nothing more than a hunch. What do you all say and how would you handle this uncomfortable feeling?

[Anonymous]

Talk to your nanny.

[Anonymous]

What do I say?

[Anonymous]

Do you think she is poaching or stalking? Which is it? (for those who don't know, OP posted the same thing in the regular forum but asked if the other mom was stalking her nanny/daughter)

[Anonymous]

Frankly: it feels like both. It's like she is slowly encroaching. And yes, I posted in both places because I thought it was relevant to both forum's audiences and that I would get a variety of perspectives.

[Anonymous]

This doesn't sound remotely like either situation. It just seems like she prefers your nanny's company to yours. You might just have to get over it.

[Anonymous]

There is no way your nanny should be taking your child over to this mom's house for playdates without your prior knowledge and permission. Tell your nanny that the mom must talk to you directly about any future playdates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This doesn't sound remotely like either situation. It just seems like she prefers your nanny's company to yours. You might just have to get over it.

Then the mom can make a date to socialize with the nanny outside of her work hours and without OP's child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no way your nanny should be taking your child over to this mom's house for playdates without your prior knowledge and permission. Tell your nanny that the mom must talk to you directly about any future playdates.

Most MBs who have serious office jobs to do, don't have time to micromanage playdates. They pay responsible (hopefully!) nannies to do that.

[Anonymous]

OP posted on GP on same subnect. I'm calling Troll.

[Anonymous]

Seriously get over yourself. I've made some very good "mommy" friends just by taking my charge to certain activities. We have play dates and I sometimes babysit their kids. They don't want to hang out with my MB because they don't really know her and my MB doesn't make an extra effort to get to know them. They enjoy my charge because he's a pleasant kid and good playmate for their own children. Stop complaining. Your nanny is clearly doing a good job so just get over yourself already.

[Anonymous]

You sound paranoid.

Also, your nanny doesn't need your permission or approval to babysit for a other family on her own time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no way your nanny should be taking your child over to this mom's house for playdates without your prior knowledge and permission. Tell your nanny that the mom must talk to you directly about any future playdates.

Most MBs who have serious office jobs to do, don't have time to micromanage playdates. They pay responsible (hopefully!) nannies to do that.

Nobody can possibly use a phone, or text or email during their busy "office jobs." You don't delegate your parental responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP posted on GP on same subnect. I'm calling Troll.

I'm sure OP now realizes her mistake in asking for advice here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no way your nanny should be taking your child over to this mom's house for playdates without your prior knowledge and permission. Tell your nanny that the mom must talk to you directly about any future playdates.

+1