Newly formed slight resentment towards MB

[Anonymous]

This could be a drawn out post but I'll keep it short. I've been with my family for four years. I was employed by them at the beginning of my college career and now will be graduating in August. They hired me because they could be flexible with my hours as mb works from home. In the beginning it was only like 10-12 hours a week and now it's a set schedule of 30 hours a week. Since this summer semester is my last one, I've had a few extra requirements lately where I've gone in a few minutes late to work or asked to leave early a few times. Again mb has been absolutely ok with this, very understanding, and really a great employer over the last four years. They know that our time together is coming to a close. And I've been honest from the beggining about when I'll have to leave their family.

The issues I have are related to a friend of dc's (we will call her A). For the record younger dc is 3 and we met her friend from a music class for babies when they were only each around 6 months. A's mom is my age (which is younger than MB) but we got along pretty well from the start. We go over to A's house pretty frequently for play dates and A's mom is always extremely hospitable to both me and DC. Well MB met A and her mom once and automatically disapproved. Like I said she's younger and also A's family doesn't make near as much as MB and DB do. She lets us hang out with them for playdates because dc considers A her best friend and they get along beautifully, but this only happens if I take her.

But MB refuses to have anything to do with A or her family. They won't attend A or her siblings birthday parties, will not answer A's mom when she calls her to invite to weekend events, etc.

Now I've become resentful because this judgmental attitude is just so frustrating to be around. She's always telling me how A's dad is not a provider and that A's mom needs to be working. It's just hard to hear because I now consider them both to be friends, but if I were MB I would suck it up for my DC's sake! Of course they don't have to be friends but excluded dc from her friends bday parties because she doesn't prefer the parents she only met once seems cruel to me. So I end up having to be the bad guy, decline the invites, and try to save face.

I've only got a little over a month left so I'm just pretending it doesn't bother me but it really does. And I don't want to end this relationship with a silent resentment, but I don't know what else to do.

Anyone have any ideas? Or similar situations? If nothing else thanks for reading my rant!

[Anonymous]

When people are snobs it indicates they have a major character flaw. Your MB is a pathetic assh--e.

[Anonymous]

The thing is..and why I mentioned how flexible she is with me was to show example that she's a perfectly reasonable person. And doesn't show snobiness to me ever, but really seems to have a problem with some other people. She doesn't say it in terms of them making more money. So it seems like she's not being snobby at first. But then as I look back on it it really is clear.

[Anonymous]

"She's always telling me how A's dad is not a provider and that A's mom needs to be working. "

so is the family on welfare and the mom stays home? If so, perhaps MB disapproves of the decision to accept welfare w/o trying to work and support yourself and doesn't want her DC to think that is a good exmaple?

[Anonymous]

Have you noticed this with any other people or just A?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"She's always telling me how A's dad is not a provider and that A's mom needs to be working. "

so is the family on welfare and the mom stays home? If so, perhaps MB disapproves of the decision to accept welfare w/o trying to work and support yourself and doesn't want her DC to think that is a good exmaple?

Umm she said that the mom has to work because the dad isn't a provider, right? That's how I understood it.

[Anonymous]

I can understand MB not wanting to socialize on weekends and events with parents she doesn't have anything in common with, however, that does not mean they should exclude the children from each other. So, if the pattern continues and it is directly child related (keeping the kids apart) then I would say something to MB very politely. Something like : You know, I think it is great for DC to be subjected to diverse friends and family units. I understand you may not care for A's parents but DC and A really play well together and I hope they can remain friends.

[Anonymous]

MB seems like a snob, but I would keep my lips zipped: dc isn't your child and mb will do what she wants in the long run

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB seems like a snob, but I would keep my lips zipped: dc isn't your child and mb will do what she wants in the long run

This. Hopefully your MB will come around, but if not there isn't anything you can do about it. Saying something will just make her defensive and sour your otherwise good relationship right before your position ends.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she's jealous if the other mom for some reason? Hang in there for the last month and after you leave dc stay in touch with A and her family. Kids will make new friends. Why subject A to mb if mb doesn't like her anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB seems like a snob, but I would keep my lips zipped: dc isn't your child and mb will do what she wants in the long run

This. Hopefully your MB will come around, but if not there isn't anything you can do about it. Saying something will just make her defensive and sour your otherwise good relationship right before your position ends.

+2

Your MB is a total snob but there's nothing you can do or say.

[Anonymous]

Unless the other child lives in the neighborhood, you should have stopped pushing this relationship once the MB said she didn't like the other family. At 3 kids aren't truly BFFs and they easily meet new kids.

If the child is in the neighborhood then my response would be different as they kids will have time together in school and stay friends for longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"She's always telling me how A's dad is not a provider and that A's mom needs to be working. "

so is the family on welfare and the mom stays home? If so, perhaps MB disapproves of the decision to accept welfare w/o trying to work and support yourself and doesn't want her DC to think that is a good exmaple?

Haha no! That I'd disapprove of as well. She thinks that A's dad's job is too low paying and it's ridiculous that the mom stays home. She feels that both parents should provide for the kids. But the more I think about it and from hearing it on here it is possible she's just jealous that A's mom stays home and gets to play with her kids all day.

[Anonymous]

What matters here is how MB treats YOU. You can't control how other people treat one another (except for your children now). You will find that, no matter your best efforts, some people do not want to socialize with others. As long as they are good to you, respond in kind. Your resentment towards MB is inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

My concern is actually for your charge. Obviously when you leave, this relationship is going to end suddenly and abruptly. I know little kids move on all the time, but with the added change of you leaving I think it could be a lot for the child to handle.

Is this something you can broach with MB?