WAH mom, nanny outside with older kid while younger one naps--problem?

[Anonymous]

I WAH and try VERY hard to stay out of my nanny's way. I am in a separate part of the house and run a noise machine in my office so I rarely hear anything. I go downstairs only when the kids are napping or out and to say a very quick hi at lunch. I make clear to everyone, nanny included, that she is in charge when I'm not around. We've been doing this for a year and it's been working well.

The little one's schedule recently changed and naps are less synchronized than they used to be. I recently discovered that my nanny was outside in our backyard playing with my older child while the little one was inside napping. I only figured this out because I happened to hear them outdoors over the noise machine.

I haven't said anything to my nanny yet. I feel like this is a problem, right? She's in charge of supervising the children and should not leave the younger one effectively alone inside the house. I realize DC is not *technically* alone b/c I'm here, but I am, for all intents and purposes, checked out and not paying attention.

I'd welcome any thoughts on this including how to approach the nanny if you consider this problematic. I can't tell if I'm overreacting or if this shows a major lapse in judgment, or something in between.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible for her to have a monitor that would work in the vicinity of the yard to check on the napper if needed?

[Anonymous]

I do this all the time without mb working from home. I bring the monitor outside with us. Backyard is probably closer to baby's room than the basement is, so I don't see a problem.

[Anonymous]

OP here. She was not using a monitor and she cannot hear the baby outside without one.

The monitor we have probably would work outside though... that's a good option to propose.

I guess I'm more concerned whether this is a red flag or something I shouldn't stress about. Thanks for the responses.

[Anonymous]

I understand your concern, but I do t think its a red flag. In fact, I would venture to say that plenty of responsible nannies do this.

[Anonymous]

She should have a monitor so she can supervise the napping child. I often take my older charge outside to play while the younger one naps, it's our one on one time, but the family I work for has a video monitor and I just take it outside with me.

[Anonymous]

Agree not a red flag, just ensure she has/uses a monitor.

[Anonymous]

Thanks again (this is OP). She is a lovely person and great with our 2 (soon to be 3) boys. She tends to be very responsive to suggestions so I will mention the monitor.

If anyone has any other thoughts I'm all ears.

[Anonymous]

Dear lord! You people are insane! I left my children sleeping in the house and did yard work! Crazy, crazy, crazy!!!!

[Anonymous]

Dear lord! You people are insane! I left my children sleeping in the house and did yard work! Crazy, crazy, crazy!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand your concern, but I do t think its a red flag. In fact, I would venture to say that plenty of responsible nannies do this.

What if the child started choking or was getting smothered, etc.. I wouldn't do it so it's scary that many 'professionals' would.

[Anonymous]

OP As a WAHM, I can understand where you are coming from. I do the same thing, stay out of the way, etc. However I have heard my littlest crying in his bedroom with the door shut and the nanny was downstairs on her computer, without the monitor. Therefore she couldn't hear a thing. It did bother me, but I just brought her the monitor and have made it a point to leave it for her in the morning, she seems to have taken the hint well. good luck!

[Anonymous]

As a nanny this isn't something i would like to do but have done it with the monitor with me. If the naps aren't lining up, or if the other kid is taking a very long nap, it doesn't seem fair to keep them inside and quiet because of the napper. I think that would be a good way to encourage sibling rivalry and resentment...i can't go play because my stupid brother is sleeping. Btdt as a kid and it sucks.

[Anonymous]

OP, you don't say how old your little one is, but unless it's truly a baby (meaning the dangers of choking are greater, and naps are very irregular or short) this doesn't seem like a major issue to me.

I think asking that she use the monitor while she's in the yard is a perfect solution.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think it's not a red flag. I only have one child so this isn't an issue, but for example, I don't think there's anything wrong with my nanny emptying the garbage and being in the garage while our toddler naps.

You didn't say how old your little one is. If we're talking about a 3 month old, I wouldn't like it. If we're talking about a 2 year old who can yell for someone, that's very different.

Just tell her you want her to use a baby monitor.