MB & DB going to a wedding, expect me to go with them??!

[Anonymous]

MB and DB are going to a wedding out of town and are planning to bring their 3 young kids. The Grandmother told me in passing that they're planning to bring me, on a weekend that I already have plans. This wedding is only 2 weeks away and nothing has been said to me, but this is just typical of their attitude that I have no life outside work. I really don't want to go, because I hate travelling with families and also it's not like they asking me in advance... And I have plans!!! What do I do? I'm going to tell them no of course, but can they fire me for not going? I really resent the fact that they just ASSUME I'll go with them, when it's not even on a work day. It's the weekend!

[Anonymous]

You are an at will employee. They can fire you because they don't like your new hairstyle. They don't need a legitimate reason. If you are an experienced nanny with otherwise good references, then I would not put up with this. If you absolutely need this job, then You will have to decide whether it is worth the risk of telling them know and being fired. Either way, if I were you I would certainly start looking for an out.

[Anonymous]

You're not going. Period.
You are not their slave girl.

[Anonymous]

If you, or anyone else, is worried about getting fired for not being a 24/7 slave girl, you need to line up a new job.

[Anonymous]

maybe grandma has it wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:maybe grandma has it wrong?

My thoughts too.

Surely they wouldn't just tell you last minute, "Oh, by the way...you are going out of town this weekend."

[Anonymous]

On Monday why not bring it up but in a round about way.

Like oh I know that wedding is coming up - anything needing to be prepared for the children (ie packing, and so on).

Or something like that so that way its not like you're just out and out saying hey grandma Ethel told me I was going with you why didn't you tell me?!

[Anonymous]

You have a mouth so tell her no. This is something she must sdk uou IF you would do and how much YOU. WOULD CHARGE.

[nannydebsays]

When they ask you to go with them, say, "I have plans already. I wish you had told me sooner that you wanted me to work that weekend. With advance knowledge of your needs, I might have been able to keep that time open for you."

Then if they keep asking, tell them you'll go if they pay you double time for every single hour you are away from your home. And get the $$ in advance!

[Anonymous]

OP here- I emailed MB and grandma was right. They expect me to go with them!! I told them I was unavailable and MB said she would think about it and get back to me on Monday... What is there to think about?!

[Anonymous]

Wow! Your MB is a piece of work. You're correct in saying that there isn't anything for her to think about. If your work agreement specifies your hours as being M-F then you are not obligated to accommodate weekend requests.

Worst case scenario...she lets you go. But is that really a bad thing considering how inconsiderate she is of your personal time? It would suck to have to find a new job, but another family might be much more respectful of your personal time.

[Anonymous]

Given MBs strange response, I would start putting out feelers for a new position ASAP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given MBs strange response, I would start putting out feelers for a new position ASAP

+1

[Anonymous]

Was travel part of the expectations for this job? Or short-notice availability? Those are more standard in "high-profile," high-pay jobs, but should be spelled out as part of the hiring agreement.

[Anonymous]

PP makes a good point about travel expectations that were laid out at the beginning as part of your employment expectations. Did they discuss travel or short-notice things with you at the beginning of your employment?

I had a job that required a considerable amount of travel (as in up to 60-75%). I knew that going into the job, and I also knew that some travel would be short-notice. It was also common to be nearing the end of a 2 week trip and discover that the trip had been extended for another week or that we would be going to a new location for x number of additional days. Personal plans always needed to be flexible (including holiday plans) b/c there were no guarantees with that job...but I was well compensated for it.