Interesting Nanny Issue

[Anonymous]

Our nanny of three months let our DC (8 years old) ride in the front seat of her car, and the ill-behaved child broke her windshield with a kick while throwing a tantrum. I was mortified, and of course immediately grounded DC from their favorite extracurricular sport for the next three months, as well as giving them a good spanking in front of the nanny. S/he also apologized to the nanny.

I arranged for the nanny's 1999 vehicle to have the windshield replaced the very next day at one of the nation's premier auto glass outfitters, and paid the $300 to have the work done. Less than an hour after the windshield was repaired, the nanny returned to me and said that her spouse was unhappy with the repair because after-market glass was used instead of dealer/auto manufacturer glass (I was not aware of the difference). Nanny said that a repair with the original manufacturer's glass would cost $1,200 (she must have had this information before the repair was undertaken), and that her spouse had gotten an estimate for that work. I told her that I wished that she had approached me with her concern before the work was completed, so that I could have made the repair to her satisfaction to begin with.

After verifying with the dealership that the cost of using original market glass was indeed about $ 1,200, I wrote the nanny a check in that amount. I also let the nanny go, because I had lost a bit of trust in her. I felt that her coming to me for money after the repair was completed to complain was somewhat of a play for more money. Also, my children are now older (DC is the youngest), and I had been thinking for a while now that I can handle the driving and childcare/house without help.

The nanny called yesterday to offer her apologies, and the return of half the $1,200 if she could return to work for our family. I am inclined to stick to my original decision to care for my children myself. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

My concern would be the fact that she allowed an 8 y/o child to ride in the front seat of the car when the backseat was available. That alone would be grounds for termination in my book (and I am a nanny).

Stick with your original decision and care for your children yourself. And out of curiosity...you said you've been thinking about handling things yourself for awhile now. Why did you hire a new nanny 3 months ago if you were already contemplating taking on the responsibilities yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My concern would be the fact that she allowed an 8 y/o child to ride in the front seat of the car when the backseat was available. That alone would be grounds for termination in my book (and I am a nanny).

Stick with your original decision and care for your children yourself. And out of curiosity...you said you've been thinking about handling things yourself for awhile now. Why did you hire a new nanny 3 months ago if you were already contemplating taking on the responsibilities yourself?

We moved across the country in the last year, where we had the same nanny for 10 years. I had managed by myself for several months in our new home, but things had gotten a bit hectic lately with multiple schedules, activities, schools; and I decided that perhaps we could use some help after all.

[nannydebsays]

I would have fired her for letting an 8 yo ride in the front seat, and she would have counted herself lucky to have gotten the windshield repaired for $300 at my expense.

I would absolutely NOT rehire her - she risked your kids safety and that's unacceptable.

If you do need help, hire someone else.

[Anonymous]

I'm shocked you weren't mad she let an 8 year old ride in the front seat. I'm a nanny and that is completely unacceptable. Don't rehire her.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the responses. It is helpful to get a second, unbiased opinion on the matter.

[Anonymous]

Is this for real??? A mom who is not livid that the nanny let her 8 yr old ride in the front seat AND then spanks this child?
for only the 2nd time in 5 yrs of posting here..."troll".

[Anonymous]

OP here, not a troll, but not offended. My DC had just cracked the nanny's windshield to the point where it had to be replaced (FYI, bigger than a dollar bill windshield crack requires total replacement).

So you would have had me set the example for DC that it was the nanny's fault by chewing the nanny out? No, not me, I believe that when you do something wrong you do not look to shift the blame -- a big problem in this world -- it is always someone else's fault!

Also, I was not thinking about the nanny's actions because frankly I was completely mortified by my own DC's completely out-of-bounds behavior.

I never spank DC, but I think that one swift spank to the bottom (fully clothed) when you have just cracked your nanny's windshield throwing a tantrum, is well-deserved. I also grounded DC from their favorite activity for the rest of spring/most of summer.

[Anonymous]

Please stop cross posting your troll post, OP. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please stop cross posting your troll post, OP. Thanks.

OP here again. Please stop referring to my post as a troll posting. I come to this community for help with real-life issues, and sometime as the saying goes "life is stranger than fiction". I had a great experience with our prior nanny of ten years, and now a not-so-good experience with a nanny of three months. In all my employer relations I have always treated the nanny with respect, good-will, and honesty.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the dcum nanny forum, where you are instantly a troll when someone doesn't like you.

[Anonymous]

no, OP, obviously you don't chew out the nanny in front of your DC - duh. You do so once you have dealt appropriately with DC and sent to room, privileges removed for however long necessary to demonstrate seriousness of the offense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrotelease stop cross posting your troll post, OP. Thanks.



OP here again. Please stop referring to my post as a troll posting. I come to this community for help with real-life issues, and sometime as the saying goes "life is stranger than fiction". I had a great experience with our prior nanny of ten years, and now a not-so-good experience with a nanny of three months. In all my employer relations I have always treated the nanny with respect, good-will, and honesty.

Perhaps you are slow.

Let me say it again. You are a troll posting fake posts.

You've already been reported.

Shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the dcum nanny forum, where you are instantly a troll when someone doesn't like you.

[Anonymous]

PP 20:13, whatever you think is fine.

I will deal with my own DC, and in the end I am happy with my decision to go it alone for the time being. I think that I treated our short-term, part-time nanny as fairly and justly as anyone could have given the same circumstances.

I do not know why my DC was able to crack the nanny's windshield -- and believe me, I wish s/he had not. Perhaps, as other PPs have suggested, there was already a small hole or crack which already made this windshield weak and susceptible to cracking. Or perhaps, as you suggest, DC's tantrum was some sort of screaming, thrashing nightmare that the nanny will not admit to -- because she does not describe it that way at all.

I can guess based on your dismissive attitude that you would never treat another person -- me, the nanny, or anyone on this forum -- with as much patience, and a desire to do the right thing -- as I showed the nanny.

And PP 20:54, thanks for the support, I never thought about it before, but so true!