Looking for our next au pair and no one is emailing me back!

[Anonymous]

We had a really easy time finding our first au pair and had a great year. We're starting to look for our second and I've emailed four candidates now and not a one has even emailed back to say they're not interested. Is this a normal thing that they wouldn't even respond? Do I have something heinous in our application that I don't realize? I'm getting disheartened! Any tips?

[Anonymous]

Maybe the last au pair has some friends?

[Anonymous]

How do we know if we don't no what your application says? Maybe posting it here would help (although I must warn you that if you DO post it here you may get a few nit pickers who will pick apart your application and make you feel like you're asking for to much, etc.)

[Anonymous]

How much time are you giving them to reply? Some of them don't have everyday access to internet like we do here.

[Anonymous]

OP back. I know you don't have my application - that was kind of a rhetorical statement. As it turns out, 2 of them did email me after 48 hours. Maybe I'm just not giving them enough time. I guess I felt like if you had just put up your application and were excited about finding a host family, that you'd check every day. But you're right - maybe they don't all have easy access to internet. I'll be patient.

[Anonymous]

Definitely give them more time to reply, OP. there were other posts on similar topics -- the consensus was that some don't even have Internet at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back. I know you don't have my application - that was kind of a rhetorical statement. As it turns out, 2 of them did email me after 48 hours. Maybe I'm just not giving them enough time. I guess I felt like if you had just put up your application and were excited about finding a host family, that you'd check every day. But you're right - maybe they don't all have easy access to internet. I'll be patient.

Maybe they also are busy. Just from the fact that you expected an immediate answer is indicative, to me, thst you would be difficult and want your every whim obeyed instantly. Maybe your former AP has put the word about youon the AP grapevine.

[Anonymous]

Also if you are looking at Northern European APs, they are in the middle of taking exams for their A levels and may not check email as frequently.

[Anonymous]

I think allowing about 2 days is a good rule of thumb--when a number of candidates weren't writing me back, I sent a follow-up "hey, just wanted to make sure you got our message. If you're not interested, that's ok, but it would be helpful to know." The follow-up got a quick response every time of "yeah, I don't think we're a match." So then we asked the agency to see if they knew what the issue on our application was, and they did have some concrete feedback, which was sort of a misunderstanding that we fixed. Then, we had much better luck.

I do understand that not everyone has e-mail and internet all the time. We do need to be patient and not expect instant communication all the time. But in this group (18-26 y-os), I think that is the exception and not the rule. Candidates who have been interested have typically responded quite quickly.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think allowing about 2 days is a good rule of thumb--when a number of candidates weren't writing me back, I sent a follow-up "hey, just wanted to make sure you got our message. If you're not interested, that's ok, but it would be helpful to know." The follow-up got a quick response every time of "yeah, I don't think we're a match." So then we asked the agency to see if they knew what the issue on our application was, and they did have some concrete feedback, which was sort of a misunderstanding that we fixed. Then, we had much better luck.

I do understand that not everyone has e-mail and internet all the time. We do need to be patient and not expect instant communication all the time. But in this group (18-26 y-os), I think that is the exception and not the rule. Candidates who have been interested have typically responded quite quickly.

Good luck!

Thanks for this, PP. In our previous experience, it was obvious that when they were excited about the match, they emailed back right away. That's why it made me think maybe there was something in my application that wasn't written well or that was turning off candidates. I'll ask my coordinator for some feedback - I didn't know you could do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. I know you don't have my application - that was kind of a rhetorical statement. As it turns out, 2 of them did email me after 48 hours. Maybe I'm just not giving them enough time. I guess I felt like if you had just put up your application and were excited about finding a host family, that you'd check every day. But you're right - maybe they don't all have easy access to internet. I'll be patient.

Maybe they also are busy. Just from the fact that you expected an immediate answer is indicative, to me, thst you would be difficult and want your every whim obeyed instantly. Maybe your former AP has put the word about youon the AP grapevine.

<sigh> when did I say I wanted an immediate answer? I still haven't received an email back from two of the candidates (obviously, they're not interested, but I asked in my original post if it was typical to not receive a response at all) and the other two emailed me on the third full day, which seems like plenty of time. I said I'm "getting disheartened" and wondered whether there was something awful in our application that was turning au pairs off - I didn't blame the au pairs or demand that my every whim be obeyed. I'm really sick of this shit on this board frankly.

[Anonymous]

Then go away please

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then go away please

The vast majority of posters are very helpful (include the three or four others who posted). I'm glad I posted because the PPs gave me some perspective on internet availability and timing of an exam and because another PP suggested having our placement coordinator look at the applications. Thanks PPs.

[Anonymous]

Can people stop being rude when a poster wants advice???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think allowing about 2 days is a good rule of thumb--when a number of candidates weren't writing me back, I sent a follow-up "hey, just wanted to make sure you got our message. If you're not interested, that's ok, but it would be helpful to know." The follow-up got a quick response every time of "yeah, I don't think we're a match." So then we asked the agency to see if they knew what the issue on our application was, and they did have some concrete feedback, which was sort of a misunderstanding that we fixed. Then, we had much better luck.

I do understand that not everyone has e-mail and internet all the time. We do need to be patient and not expect instant communication all the time. But in this group (18-26 y-os), I think that is the exception and not the rule. Candidates who have been interested have typically responded quite quickly.

Good luck!

Thanks for this, PP. In our previous experience, it was obvious that when they were excited about the match, they emailed back right away. That's why it made me think maybe there was something in my application that wasn't written well or that was turning off candidates. I'll ask my coordinator for some feedback - I didn't know you could do that.

We were contacting au pairs in Northern Europe, and the placement coordinator supposedly got feedback from the girls through the European office. And the way the placement coordinator restated the issue to us was what helped us understand where the misunderstanding was taking place.
I also felt concerned at first so I totally understand looking for perspective about reasonable expectations .