Mb would you allow your live out nanny to stay in your home?

[Anonymous]

I'm having my older home fumigated with a termite tent sometime hopefully soon! (I've already been quoted by the pest company). And I got to thinking about where I will be staying when this happens. Closest family is 2 hrs away and my nanny family I work for is only 10 min from my home. They have a guest bedroom and I'm a single gal. Both financially and systematically it would work best if they'd let me stay with them (I go in at 7am and leave at 5, but in this case I can help outside of those hours if need be--without any extra pay of course!) the process is slated to take between 3-4 days and I would probably choose to have it done on Monday as to not interrupt their weekend time. Would it be inappropriate for me to ask mb About this?

I've been working with them for about 3.5 years, they've got a guest bedroom (although I'd be sharing the bathroom with their one child (4 yrs old), I'd bring all my own food and necessities of course. They're really nice people and like family to me and I have a feeling when I even mention the tenting they may offer it, but is it ok for me to ask if not?

[Anonymous]

What's the issue? Just ask them.

[Anonymous]

I think it's odd you've worked for them for over 3 years and think it would be an issue. I'm not a MB but I have stayed with my employers many times. I have a long commute so I stay overnight when there's bad weather. They wouldn't think twice about me staying with them if my home was being fumigated.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds suspicious. I agree with PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds suspicious. I agree with PP.

+1 You should just ask them. It's a perfectly reasonable request.

[Anonymous]

How do I sound suspicious? Lol I just don't like imposing myself on others! We've got a great relationship, but it's not often I ask them for favors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I sound suspicious? Lol I just don't like imposing myself on others! We've got a great relationship, but it's not often I ask them for favors.

You want to offer free sitting services in return. How is that asking for favors or imposing yourself? They might love it so much that they'll "allow" you to totally move in, and then they'd have a real deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I sound suspicious? Lol I just don't like imposing myself on others! We've got a great relationship, but it's not often I ask them for favors.

You want to offer free sitting services in return. How is that asking for favors or imposing yourself? They might love it so much that they'll "allow" you to totally move in, and then they'd have a real deal.

Asking to move into someone's home for a few days is asking a favor...even if you're offering returns on the favor...

[Anonymous]

OP, you should just ask a friend if you can crash on their couch. It's unprofessional to ask your boss to open their home to you.

I always cringe when people talk about nannies and employers being "like family" because they're not. Everyone is "like a family member" until there's a problem and then the hurt feelings are magnified threefold because you thought you were "like family."

Just ask a friend, OP. Keep the boundaries simple.

[Anonymous]

3 years and it feels weird to ask? After a year of my current family they would have INSISTED I stay with them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 years and it feels weird to ask? After a year of my current family they would have INSISTED I stay with them

They probably will insist, I just wanted to make sure it wasn't something out of the ordinary, crazy, or unprofessional as the pp before you suggested. We are like family. They've invited me to thanksgiving and christmas dinners, I've gone on trips with them simply for fun, etc. However, all these things were suggested by them not me, so I just grate being the one to ask for a favor. But, I'm really in a great place to so, because they're an awesome family

[Anonymous]

MB here. It sounds like you have a close enough relationship to ask. For what it's worth, if our nanny, whose been with us for 4 years asked to stay with us under the conditions you describe, I would have no problem with it and I wouldn't expect her to bring her own food or anything like that. I also wouldn't expect her to offer free babysitting, although, if she did, I would think that a very nice gesture. While we are very friendly, we don't refer to each other as family or anything and we don't do holidays together. Still, I would be happy to help her out, just as I would if a coworker friend needed this.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I would also be happy to do this for our long-term nanny, and we aren't as "family-like" as it sounds like you are. I'm less confortable with guests of any sort in the house, but that's my problem, and the kids would love it. Especially if both parents work outside the home, I don't see why they would mind.

After 3.5 years, they know you don't ask for regular favors or odd special requests on any kindof regular basis. I'm sure they wouldn't think, "oh, no, now she's going to want xxxx every day or anything."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you should just ask a friend if you can crash on their couch. It's unprofessional to ask your boss to open their home to you.

I always cringe when people talk about nannies and employers being "like family" because they're not. Everyone is "like a family member" until there's a problem and then the hurt feelings are magnified threefold because you thought you were "like family."

Just ask a friend, OP. Keep the boundaries simple.

Really? Because I was a live-in for 4 years and continued with them as a live-out for 3 years after I moved out. (The only reason I moved out was to live with my fiance.) They are most certainly like family to me, and me to them. The biggest issue that ever came up was a conflict in vacation time that was settled w/ a 5 minute talk, not an awkward argument that ended in hurt feelings. They are still very much a HUGE part of my life...just like family. I hate it when people generalize. It may not be the norm, but it happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. It sounds like you have a close enough relationship to ask. For what it's worth, if our nanny, whose been with us for 4 years asked to stay with us under the conditions you describe, I would have no problem with it and I wouldn't expect her to bring her own food or anything like that. I also wouldn't expect her to offer free babysitting, although, if she did, I would think that a very nice gesture. While we are very friendly, we don't refer to each other as family or anything and we don't do holidays together. Still, I would be happy to help her out, just as I would if a coworker friend needed this.

Good luck.

MB here, and I agree with this. Just ask. And if they say it is fine, great. You can offer the babysitting as a nice gesture, but I wouldn't require it of our nanny and I'd be happy to help her out.