what to do when the kids are hurting and so am I

[Anonymous]

This post has unfortunate timing since someone else posted about a dog issue already but I have one as well but it's very different from the other persons post. I had to have my dog put to sleep yesterday due to severe liver failure. She was very sweet and I have had her several years. I am very upset and having a hard time with doing anything other than spacing out today. I am trying to help the children deal with this as well. I know your probably thinking what do the children have to do with your dog? The family I work for has a chocolate lab and my dog was over several days a week for the past nearly 3 years that I have been with this family and would spend the day with their dog. The kids know my dog is gone and I don't really know what to say to them to help them feel better about this when I am hurting myself. Other than saying she is in dog heaven now and that she isn't hurting anymore I don't know what else to say to them. They are hurting right along with me and it's very sad. I know I need to shake it off and act happier for the kids but sometimes I feel like it's ok for them to see that an adult can be sad to and that we also have bad things happen. Is it ok for us all to just have a sad day?

[Anonymous]

It's not only ok to have a sad day, it's healthy! You can talk and remember the good times you all had with your dog, and even cry together (I mean, don't bawl in front of them, but some years are fine). But of course also reassure them that the pain will fade and everything will be ok. I'm so sorry about your dog. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Being sad is just as normal and nessasary as being happy. It's what you do with it, and how you express it, that matters.

[Anonymous]

How old are the kids? Could they help you make a memory book for the dog? Maybe you could draw it on construction paper today, and then you could take it home and add pictures you print out tonight.

[Anonymous]

15:56 A memory book is a great idea. They are 4 and 8. The youngest is just now starting to understand that death means never coming back. When I picked him up from preschool he asked me "is she really gone forever." It really broke my heart to see him hurting. I will definitely do the memory book though because they can focus on some happy memories while making the book. I have lots of pictures of the kids with my dog so I'm sure they would love it if I brought some in tomorrow to add to the book.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry for your loss, OP.

[Anonymous]

So sorry op

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP. I lost a close friend in a car accident yesterday and I needed to go home early. I was a mess and I didn't want the children to be scared. Plus I wasn't good mentally to be taking care of them.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry for your loss it's ok for the kids to see you sad. My dad died in sept and the kids saw me cry, saw me sad, and know about the necklace I wear daily that's blown glass with his ashes melted into it. They're 3 and 5. We just talked about it best I could.