Trying to not pick favourites.

[Anonymous]

Here's the thing.

There are some children that are kind, concientous, say please and thank you, and treat you kindly. They don't hit you back when you say no, they help clean things up when they get knocked over, and they don't scream or cry to get their way. You find yourself laughing, enjoying your time, thinking to yourself "this is why I went into childcare." It's easy and fun to be with them. They give you hugs, hold your hand, and like to be read to. They make you think you'd like to have a child of your own one day.

But then there's the kids that hit their brothers and sisters if they don't get their way. That won't look you in the eye when you try and speak to them. You can tell there's no "special needs" going on, but no matter what you do the kid won't respect authority. You notice the parents struggle and are exhausted. The kid is generally unkind, impolite, rude, and a pain to be around. They want to play videogames all the time, but when you play games they lack any sportsmanship. No matter how much positive feedback, teaching, guidance, correction, and praise you try to offer, the child is difficult. You find yourself looking at the clock and waiting to get out of there because they're a total pain the ass.

I'm taking care of a kid that's a total pain in the ass. I'm ready to throw in the towel.

[Anonymous]

Feel your pain OP. I actually did quit a position after 4 months because the ds was the most difficult child I ever provided care for, and there were times when I would take a break from him, lock myself in the bathroom, and vent crying to my sister. Honestly, he was negatively affecting me and it was too much.

Do what you gotta do OP.

Do

[Anonymous]

You sound like you dread going to work - when you wake up in the morning and realise its a work day do you think to yourself 'I'd give anything not to go to work today?'

If you do its time for a new job.

[Anonymous]

For some odd reason, I bond with all of my charges over time. Even the ones who are bad.

Guess my heart just loves everyone unconditionally...like a pet. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you dread going to work - when you wake up in the morning and realise its a work day do you think to yourself 'I'd give anything not to go to work today?'

If you do its time for a new job.

Totally agree with this! I just quit a job because of the dread I had come to feel every Sunday night. Not healthy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you dread going to work - when you wake up in the morning and realise its a work day do you think to yourself 'I'd give anything not to go to work today?'

If you do its time for a new job.

Totally agree with this! I just quit a job because of the dread I had come to feel every Sunday night. Not healthy!

+2

[Anonymous]

You need a new job.

The family deserves a nanny who doesn't think their child is a pain in the ass.

[Anonymous]

Yes OP start looking for a new job because it will only get worse and you're not enjoying yourself nor is the child getting 100% from you.

I understand how overbearing some kids can be and many are just raised to be spoiled, out of control brats.. The parents will need to pay EXTRA to a childcare provider if they expect a happy care giver who will tolerate their little devil lmao.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need a new job.

The family deserves a nanny who doesn't think their child is a pain in the ass.

Unless the child is a pain in the ass, then I'm sure the parents realize that everyone will feel the same way. You don't have to like every child.

[Anonymous]

I temped for a child like this.
He was the oldest of 3 and the 2 younger ones were fine. He was just like you described. I couldn't have worked with him full time but I stuck out the 3 mos temping.
Everything was a battle, part of the problem was that he was allowed to get up and watch tv in the morning. Once he had to get ready for school he was a total nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps OP does need a new job, but unfortunately that is not always possible, and pretty shitty advice IMO. OP I think you need to try to sit down with the parents and come up with some strategies together that will make this situation better for everyone. I have days where I am ready to be done too, it comes with the territory, but that is just not an option for me. I have to find a way to compartmentalize and remind myself that it's not personal, sometimes kids really just are a pain in the ass.
And to this PP "You need a new job.

The family deserves a nanny who doesn't think their child is a pain in the ass." please get real, even you are annoyed with your own kid some days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need a new job.

The family deserves a nanny who doesn't think their child is a pain in the ass.

Unless the child is a pain in the ass, then I'm sure the parents realize that everyone will feel the same way. You don't have to like every child.

Exactly. Kids are like adults, you don't like them all. There's not a thing wrong with that. Do you think teachers like all their students? Nooo and that's the reality of it. All that matters is you treat them as you're supposed to and do your job properly.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone who provided the constructive feedback.

I went into my job today from a new perspective. I listened to him and tried to understand what his real needs are. One thing I noticed was he kept asking if it was 5:30, and I realized that he just misses his Mom most days. When Mom came home he literally ran into her arms and gave her a big hug. I'm going to approach the situation now with more kindness and empathy that I now understand where he's coming from. Bottom line, he wants Mom and I'm not Mom. So I'm going to be as caring, responsive, and kind as I can and hopefully we'll see improvement.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your new perspective paid dividends really quickly. Good for you for being able to override your initial reactions and come up w/ a different way to think about.

Kids, like animals, can often be highly intuitive but not have the language to express themselves effectively. So if he is struggling w/ missing his mother, or feeling uncomfortable/uncertain around you, etc... that might manifest itself as the kind of behavior that was turning you off. He then senses annoyance or dislike or disapproval from you and that further heightens his bad behavior.

On the other hand, if he senses kindness and empathy he may really change his behavior with you. If he doesn't feel rejected he might really warm up.

I hope that's what happens. Sometimes it's the most sensitive, hurt children that have the toughest behavior but the tenderest hearts. I hope that's what you have here and your new approach will bring you both closer together.

Good luck and pls keep us posted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone who provided the constructive feedback.

I went into my job today from a new perspective. I listened to him and tried to understand what his real needs are. One thing I noticed was he kept asking if it was 5:30, and I realized that he just misses his Mom most days. When Mom came home he literally ran into her arms and gave her a big hug. I'm going to approach the situation now with more kindness and empathy that I now understand where he's coming from. Bottom line, he wants Mom and I'm not Mom. So I'm going to be as caring, responsive, and kind as I can and hopefully we'll see improvement.

You seem like a lovely nanny.