What would you do if you thought MB and DB didn't truly trust you????i

[Anonymous]

I'm starting to feel like they don't truly trust me with there child...I've been working with my 7 month old charge since December. They choose me out of I believe 10 other people. My question is why go threw all this if you're not gonna to trust the person you're leaving your child with. The mom tries to treat me like I have no clue how to care for her child like I don't know what she likes and dislikes, don't know how to make her bottle and etc. With her oldest child whom I'm going to be taking care of during the school year she will not let go and let me sart getting him ready in the morning she has to control everything and I don't get how she expects this to work when I will be in charge of him if she won't let go. Today the baby was christened and I was invited it, when I held my charge she insisted on hovering over me watching me every move in front of all her friends and family. I wonder if its a race issue because I'm black and she's white. Some of guests were completely rude and treated me as the help the whole time. Tommorow I had a very important event to go to five minutes driving from her home and since I could not reschedule I asked to take my charge with me. Since i dont drive my grandma would take us. she knows her very well. She told me she would discuss it with DB and get back to me. Today they tell me they're not comfortable because of putting her carseat in the car. UMmmmm Hello I'm fully capable of putting your child in a carseat and buckling her in the car. I won't kill her on a five minute drive. I clearly have experince doing this atuff qith kids. To me I'm insulted. What to do?????

[Anonymous]

I would quit.

The situation won't get better, micromanagers are the worse.

[Anonymous]

This is OP- Sorry for all the typos I was rushing I have to be up early and had to get this off my mind

[Anonymous]

Not sure about the micromanaging-- could just be mismatched expectations, with you being more used to and capable of working with a great deal of autonomy, and MB viewing the position more as her delegating specific tasks and specific ways to do things.

As far as the car thing-- I wouldn't agree to this either. Parents spend a lot of time looking into driving records, vehicles, insurance, etc before hiring someone to drive their children around. You were hired into a non-driving position, and presumably your employers don't know your grandmother or her driving ability.

[Anonymous]

This could just be an uptight, nervous mother. Maybe she's a micromanager or maybe she's just really tightly wound. But I bet it has very little to do with you - she would probably behave the exact same way (or worse) with anyone.

Whether or not you want to stick around is your call, of course, but if you can take it less personally it might help for however long you're there.

The driving thing would probably be something I wouldn't be terribly comfortable w/ either, for many of the same reasons the previous poster listed. And also just the hassle of moving the darn car seats around.

But in any case, it really sounds to me like this is much more about the mother's style than her opinion of you. It might be possible to get her to relax a bit over time but it might just be how she's built.

I don't see a racial angle at all. The fact that they invited you to the christening seems welcoming.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm starting to feel like they don't truly trust me with there child...I've been working with my 7 month old charge since December. They choose me out of I believe 10 other people. My question is why go threw all this if you're not gonna to trust the person you're leaving your child with. The mom tries to treat me like I have no clue how to care for her child like I don't know what she likes and dislikes, don't know how to make her bottle and etc. With her oldest child whom I'm going to be taking care of during the school year she will not let go and let me sart getting him ready in the morning she has to control everything and I don't get how she expects this to work when I will be in charge of him if she won't let go. Today the baby was christened and I was invited it, when I held my charge she insisted on hovering over me watching me every move in front of all her friends and family. I wonder if its a race issue because I'm black and she's white. Some of guests were completely rude and treated me as the help the whole time. Tommorow I had a very important event to go to five minutes driving from her home and since I could not reschedule I asked to take my charge with me. Since i dont drive my grandma would take us. she knows her very well. She told me she would discuss it with DB and get back to me. Today they tell me they're not comfortable because of putting her carseat in the car. UMmmmm Hello I'm fully capable of putting your child in a carseat and buckling her in the car. I won't kill her on a five minute drive. I clearly have experince doing this atuff qith kids. To me I'm insulted. What to do?????

Playing the race card or assuming that is why she is micromanaging isn't going to do any favors for you. Why do you feel he need to throw out and use it? At the end of the day she choose you out of 10 people. I'm thinking its just who she is. In that case instead of hblinf talking will do you any help. Get reall. Start looking for a new job. When you've landed one then try and talk to her. She won't change though she waiting to see that is a waste. Then after you talk to her throw her that bombshell an move on to your new job! She sounds horrid! If you stick around you're allowing this!

[Anonymous]

I am reall going thru the same thing. My mb thibks of me as a babysitter who needs to be told xyz... It's getting to be very tiring. I have lots of expierence and I know how to care for children. I am starting to become very wary of this job!! Anyways I understand OP. best of luck. I would respond ( and have ) with I understand where you are coming from. Your child's safety is always at the top of my list and I would never have them in a situation where I can see it is unsafe. Or they feel uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am reall going thru the same thing. My mb thibks of me as a babysitter who needs to be told xyz... It's getting to be very tiring. I have lots of expierence and I know how to care for children. I am starting to become very wary of this job!! Anyways I understand OP. best of luck. I would respond ( and have ) with I understand where you are coming from. Your child's safety is always at the top of my list and I would never have them in a situation where I can see it is unsafe. Or they feel uncomfortable.

+1

[Anonymous]

Lots of mb's have conflicting issues about hiring childcare. Often it's simply a no-win nightmare, no matter what you do. Leave them.

[Anonymous]

I'll be honest with you: I have a hard time having confidence in someone's abilities when their grammar and spelling are very poor.

Also, putting a child into a carseat is different from properly installing a carseat in a car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP- Sorry for all the typos I was rushing I have to be up early and had to get this off my mind

To the PP- I have a hard time taking advice from someone who clearly can't read. Get up off your high horse.

[Anonymous]

OP it shows really bad judgement that you asked your employer if your grandma could drive your charges when you are in a non-driving position. Your employer may know your grandmother but they don't have knowledge about her driving record. she wouldn't be insured to drive their child while you are working, and the car seat would need to be installed properly. The fact that you have no clue about any these considerations makes it appear as if you have no experience.