Advice Needed: Is is better to have a nanny share with two children close in age or a year apart?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I would love advice from others on our nanny share situation. We have the option of two famlies: family 1) lives in our neighborhood one street over and will have a 15 month old when our child is 3 month in August when the nanny share begins; family 2) lives 15 minutes away and will have a 6 month old when our child is 3 months. Which is the better scenario for our child, particularly in terms of getting the appropriate and fair amount of attention and stimulation? Thanks in advance for any feedback.

[Anonymous]

As a nanny, I think it's much easier to have two kids who are nearly the same age. They are hitting milestones around the same time and can do the same kinds of activities. Plus they are great play mates for each other.

[Anonymous]

One size never fits all. It depends on the children and the nanny. Pick the family who has the more compatible parenting style.

[Anonymous]

Agree with both PPs.

I generally prefer children close in age, because I've worked with multiples and I like it that they hit milestones at the same age, have similar schedules, etc.

But similar parenting style is also very important.

Do you have a nanny in mind already? What does she think?

If you go with a bigger age gap, one of two things will happen:
-the older child will be limited for a while as to when s/he can go out to activities
-your baby will have to adjust to sleeping on the go

Someone will have to adjust their schedules a little around the other. At 15 months, that child will probably be down to one afternoon nap. Yours will still be taking 3 naps a day, most likely.

[Anonymous]

Yes! Parenting style is just as important as age!!

[Anonymous]

Thanks for these quick replies! We don't have a nanny yet. We are just at stage one of trying to find a family. I am wondering if I should hold off on both to see if we find a family closer to us with a child roughly our son's age...running the risk of ending up with no family in the end though. We have until August.

[Anonymous]

Where are you located OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are you located OP?

I ask because my MB is due in July, and we're looking for another infant to join the share.

[Anonymous]

For attention and optimal developmental support, better to have two children close in age. But PPs are right that the family fit is just as important - kids are flexible and if they are far apart it is more like having a built-in sibling, which brings its own benefits too. Go with the family you feel the best about.

[Anonymous]

15 min is not far. Pick the one closer in age unless there is some other downside to them