Is it unprofessional to ask MB for advice on relationship

[Anonymous]

So my MB happens to know an ex of mine. She met him through an acquaintance. We've been trying to get back together. But I need advice from a friend of ours and thought of asking MB for advice since she has been married for 15 years and met my ex. I won't ask other friends because I want to seek neutral advice. None biased party opinion.

[Anonymous]

No, you shouldn't ask her advice on your relationship. In fact, if you are questioning if you should get back with him or If your friends are telling you not to get back with him then you shouldn't get back with him. There are plenty fish in the sea , no need to waste time " trying" to get back with an ex. And no need to bring your Mb in the mix of things.

[Anonymous]

Don't mix work with personal issues. if you have doubts then the relationship is going to fail and if it already failed once then it's less likely to work a second time. Seek therapy if you need a neutral party. Don't put yourself in a pattern of breaking up and getting back together because your lonely or scared of the unfamiliar. Dating sucks but dating someone you have a past with can suck 10times more.

[Anonymous]

I agree with pp. Big mistake to ignore healthy boundaries.

[Anonymous]

I think this depends on the nature of your relationship w/ the MB and what you would want/hope for that relationship in the future. Pretty hard for us to assess.

In general I think there is no harm ever done by maintaining some personal/professional boundaries - even in the friendliest of relationships between nanny and boss. What if you get her advice but decide to ignore it? What if you follow her advice and it goes badly? What if there is an ongoing saga with you and the ex and you end up regretting letting your boss know so much about your personal life?

Initially I was going to say sure, go ahead and ask her. But as I'm writing this and thinking it through I think I'm convincing myself it isn't really a good idea. How much light can she really shed on the subject anyway given that she only has a very passing knowledge of your ex? Being married for a while gives her (perhaps) a useful perspective but that perspective can be useful, or not, regardless of whether it's your ex or someone else that you're thinking about.

I would be really careful about mixing work and personal. REALLY careful.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is unprofessional.

[Anonymous]

How many times must it be said that tbe nanny is an EMPLOYEE and MB is the EMPLOYER? Do not mix your personal and business life. O

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many times must it be said that tbe nanny is an EMPLOYEE and MB is the EMPLOYER? Do not mix your personal and business life. O

I trust you are aware how often the mom inappropriately dumps her personal affairs onto the nanny? The gross lack of healthy boundaries goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

Yes it is unprofessional. I have an MB who I have a friendly relationship and this is something we might talk about. But I am aware that it is not professional behavior, and wouldn't do it in any other work setting or with any other MB.

[ellesmile]

I would not, my MB and I also know a few people in common but it has only been found out by accident and I would not ask her for advice on my love life. Plus, if she's only met him a few times, what input would she have that another outside party wouldn't?

[Anonymous]

Is it unprofessional to ask MB for advice on relationship?

Yes, extremely.

[Anonymous]

It's very unprofessional to ask. Also, I agree that if it failed once, it is most likely to fail again. Always take the advice of your friends!!!

If they say to not do something, then they must have seen things that you couldn't from your point of view before, and they are the best ones to let you know that there is something wrong and to not do it. In almost all cases of friends that I know who have gotten back together with someone after people told them not to, they broke up again and learned exactly why people were telling them not to. It's almost always an "I told you so" situation. Unless it was just from the timing not being right the first time, it's not going to work for long.

[Anonymous]

*shrug* my MB is like a big sister to me. I tell her EVERYTHING and she is my person I go to for any advice. We still maintain a professional relationship when it comes to my charge and anything job related. It works for us and its been working for three years now with zero issues. I really think everyone is overreacting a bit...it's really not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

PP, I think in the rare case, if you have a really close and personal relationship with your MB, that it would be ok. For the most part though, I normally don't get too close to my employers in that manner. I am definitely closer to the ones that I am a live-in nanny for, but even then hold back with some things.

A lot of people want to have a line drawn in their relationship, some things are on one side of it, and other stuff would be going over this line and is not necessary. It could at times encourage MB to go over THEIR line when you might not want it to be done. Once you cross that border, it is hard to keep things professional all the time, which can lead to situations/conversations that you just don't want to be involved in. There is nothing more awkward than having to redirect a conversation when MB starts asking about your BF and you have just had a big personal fight with him, and don't want to talk about it with her.

[Anonymous]

Honey....Never EVER mix business w/pleasure.