Advice needed - soon (hopefully) to be ex-nanny

[Anonymous]

Hi -- Mom here.

We have had a nanny with us for about a year and during the course of this person's time with us, it has become evident on multiple occasions that she is a safety hazard and lacks common sense despite having raised her own children and having taken care of other families' children for over ten years. We are looking to replace this person as soon as possible. The question I have for forum members is how would you go about making other potential employers aware of the safety concerns this person presents? We hired this nanny through an agency and will make the agency aware of the safety issues (which I assume means that they will not send her out to their clients again), and we're not likely to provide any references for this person. I don't really feel comfortable "outing" the nanny on-line by name (plus, that presents all sorts of privacy and legal issues potentially) but I'm confident that she's going to be posting on various sites for local jobs. My intent is not to prevent this person from obtaining work, but I do have concerns about this person taking care of young children -- even if they are not my own. Thoughts? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I think the best you can do is let the agency know your concerns as you are plan to.

[Anonymous]

Why can't you just not be a reference for her and move on? Let the agency know why she is being let go and find a new nanny. Unless she is doing something illegal or extremely dangerous, you should mind your own business when it comes to her finding another position.

[Anonymous]

You should do nothing more than alert the agency and fail to provide a good reference. You cannot go around policing her employment search (besides, aren't you too busy for that??) but you can obviously inform your friends who are looking for nannies about your experience. Beyond that, you just have to let it go.

[Anonymous]

I don't think there is much you can (or should) do beyond notifying the agency and declining to serve as a reference.

Responsibility/liability for this is then on the agency, and also on the screening/hiring thoroughness of future employers.

To try to go beyond that in some way would be inappropriate. There is no way that you can prevent her from ever being hired to provide childcare - you can only do what it appropriate in your current role - as you've already laid out.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you give some examples? Is she just forgetting things that create saftey issues? Is it more willful? Is she getting older and she is not able to manage this type of work anymore? Would she be a better fit with a different age group? Things are things to think about and also tell the agency so they have the best info possible.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP that it does depend on exactly what the safety issues are. We had a previous nanny who wasn't as careful with DS as I wanted her to be. It wasn't anything major but little things like going up and down the stairs by himself before he was steady enough to do it himself and not holding his hand outside when he was still learning to walk (he fell and bumped his head one day because of it). I talked to our nanny agency about it and they spoke to her about being more careful after which she was. If these are major issues though that a conversation won't fix I think informing the agency and then leaving it alone is the way to go. Hopefully they will tell her why you are letting her go so she knows to be more careful in the future as well.

[Anonymous]

You can be a reference and be honest about your concerns when the parents call you. I do not volunteer information but I do answer parents' questions honestly.

[Anonymous]

You should do nothing more than alert the agency and fail to provide a good reference. You cannot go around policing her employment search (besides, aren't you too busy for that??) but you can obviously inform your friends who are looking for nannies about your experience. Beyond that, you just have to let it go.

+1. Just do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think there is much you can (or should) do beyond notifying the agency and declining to serve as a reference.

Responsibility/liability for this is then on the agency, and also on the screening/hiring thoroughness of future employers.

To try to go beyond that in some way would be inappropriate. There is no way that you can prevent her from ever being hired to provide childcare - you can only do what it appropriate in your current role - as you've already laid out.

Unfortunately, this.

Every family has to do their own due diligence.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for everyone's suggestions -- appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

You can't give strangers a few suggestions but you'll give the agency and potential employers the scoop? That doesn't make sense.

The only legal issues you could face is slander/defaming the nanny, and only if what you're saying can't be proved to be true. If you cost her jobs over things that aren't factually true then you could face problems.

[Anonymous]

Safety views differ though. You have given no examples but you also did not fire her immediately which leads me to think they are things that may not be universally viewed as super unsafe. When my DCs were learning to walk they tumbled far more with me than nanny since she didn't want to run the risk of a scratch whereas I thought they would be ok. A mom posted this week about speeding and viewed it as crazy unsafe. I speed on a regular basis since speed limits by me are set ridiculously low.
Not everyone views things the same way. So if you are asked I think you need to be specific in the examples so that others can judge for themselves.

[Anonymous]

OP seems dishonest. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP seems dishonest. Sorry.

Why would you say that? Even if it's true why can't people on this forum just give others the benefit of the doubt? If you think this is made up just don't answer, but maybe this is someone who truly is just asking for advice but isn't good at explaining it perfectly. Isn't the point of this forum to help people out when they need advice? Writing things like this is counterproductive and seems like you are just on here to stir up trouble which I think most people would agree is unhelpful and not in the spirit for which the forum was started.