Am I the only nanny?

[Anonymous]

Who has a respectful, give and take, family-like, and gracious relationship with the family I work for?

I hear so many complaints from both MB's and nannies on this board and are you all really happy?

This is how it works with my nanny family.
If I need to take off early or come in late one day on occasion no big deal and so when my boss(es) get home late one day on occasion, also this is no big deal. Things even out. When I get into work MB and I chat. We talk about her week/my week/cute things her son has done or said/and anything else I should know or she or I want to share! Sometimes this doesn't always happen because she has to go right to work, but most mornings we chat. When she's done working again we will chat. I usually leave 5-10 min after I am "off" and that's fine with me, again because they're flexible with me when I need them to be AND because I enjoy talking with my only "coworker" of types.
I am respected in their home and I respect them and everything in their home. I don't take things without asking and on the same hand am always offered more than I would ever ask to take. They respect my weekend hours, but will often ask me to have dinner with their family should I want to. I normally accept because I enjoy their company as they say they do mine! If I ever had an emergency, they would be the first I would call because they are essentially my family in this town. And if they ever need a small favor or had any issue with their child they'd also call on me. They trust my judgment when it comes to their son and back me up when I discipline and I also do the same for their parenting philosophies. I've watched their son grow up and I treat him as I would my own and in return, they treat me as if I were their own (they're about 15 yrs. my senior). I cannot imagine working for anyone else and having this type of relationship and I will be very sad when I have to leave. (I'm not a career nanny so he will be my first and last as I am in school.)

But is this type of give and take relationship just so uncommon or do people just overreact on these boards? It just seems like NO ONE is happy. And when you're caring for kids, I would think you'd want to be happy!

[Anonymous]

Mutual respect doesn't seem to be a common denominator around here.

[Anonymous]

I have the same kind of relationship with my family. We have grown close over the last several years and I'm truly part of their family and they are part of mine. My job will be coming to an end in September and we're all dreading it. We're so used to seeing each other all the time (MB works from home) and we've gone through a lot together. It's been the best job I've ever had and I have no doubt we'll remain part of each other 's lives. One of the reasons I am hesitant to find a new nanny job is because I'm not sure I'll ever find employers as amazing as my current ones.

[Anonymous]

I could have written most of your post almost word for word. I love my job...which is saying a lot because there are a lot of challenges that I face in this job. My employers recognize these challenges though and don't deny me my feelings on those really bad days.

We have a wonderful and respectful working relationship. We extend flexibility to each other, but they are more than cognizant of making sure that I am compensated for the extras. The communication in this job is probably better than in any other nanny position I have held. Differences of opinion are handled with respect, grace, and dignity. I can honestly say that I like them as individuals as well as employers.

I wish other nannies would realize that there are wonderful families out there who treat their nannies with respect and are willing to go the distance in forging a great working relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have the same kind of relationship with my family. We have grown close over the last several years and I'm truly part of their family and they are part of mine. My job will be coming to an end in September and we're all dreading it. We're so used to seeing each other all the time (MB works from home) and we've gone through a lot together. It's been the best job I've ever had and I have no doubt we'll remain part of each other 's lives. One of the reasons I am hesitant to find a new nanny job is because I'm not sure I'll ever find employers as amazing as my current ones.

OP here. I could have written your post as an add on to mine! My MB also works from home and I will unfortunately have to leave this job at the end of August. I don't know what I am going to do when it happens, I cry already thinking about it.

[Anonymous]

Don't you think the best parents are to busy to sit on this forum, to busy being good parents, good wives, good employees, and yes, good employers. Who has time for this? Mostly people with a gripe who have time to bitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't you think the best parents are to busy to sit on this forum, to busy being good parents, good wives, good employees, and yes, good employers. Who has time for this? Mostly people with a gripe who have time to bitch.

Haha, this is very true. I come here for entertainment purposes. But, you're right. Those in good relationships probably don't care about this board. It's sad because when I post actual questions for advice, they usually only get like 1-2 responses, because no one cares about non-dramatic queries.

[Anonymous]

You're not the only one. I get along with my MB and DB and love my job. We both treat each other with respect and fairness.

[Anonymous]

That's awesome OP.

My relationship with my employers is great. Been with them for five years and will be leaving when this school year is over as the kids are older now and don't need care. I'm dreading working for another family because I know I will never have employers like these.

[Anonymous]

I had a family like this once and I worked for them for over 3 years. After I moved I tried to keep in touch but they made little effort. Now they won't respond even when I send an email to ask about the kids. I'm still only a little sad about this, because I genuinely want to know how the kids are!

[Anonymous]

Such a refreshing thread!!!

I'm an MB - our relationship w/ our nanny is great. She is almost part of the family, we're her "emergency call", and she's often ours! She's joining us for Easter this weekend just because, etc...

On top of which she's fantastic with and for our kids.

It's so nice to read about other happy working relationships on here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not the only one. I get along with my MB and DB and love my job. We both treat each other with respect and fairness.

+1

[Anonymous]

Many families just do not value their nannies these days.
They seem to want a "2-for-1 Deal." They want someone to come into their home and not only watch their child(ren), but someone to run the household as well. They figure since you are in their home, you might as well do everything they do. They want their child fed at certain times, bathed/cleaned up when they get home and they don't want the child to sleep too long since you are on the clock and shouldn't be paid to just "sit around." Ha!! It is a HUGE responsibility to keep a young child safe, entertained and in a good mood on a daily basis but many families think of childcare as ea$y money. So they also ask their nannies to do the wash, clean the house, care for the pets and do the grocery shopping. They try to nickel + dime the nanny to death and in the end this only makes them look bad. It shows they only care about stretching a dollar. They could care less if their child(ren) were getting sub-par care as long as they didn't have to mop the floor when they came home from work.

A family that truly loves and cares for their child will want their nanny and child to be 100% happy. They will not want to overwork their nanny. Their child's safety and well-being is all that they care about and they would be willing to pay any amount to have a healthy environment for their baby.
These families do not gripe if the laundry is not folded or the dishwasher did not get emptied because the nanny had to deal w/a baby w/gas issues, teething issues, etc. As long as the focus was on their baby, that is all they want.

[Anonymous]

I love the families that I work for! Looking for another PT position to add to my schedule and I hope to find another good one as well, one that I can get some summer hours with and then continue with in the fall as well. I do get picky sometimes though, as I have dealt with some not so great families in the past and so now I really pay attention to what my instincts say when meeting with people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many families just do not value their nannies these days.
They seem to want a "2-for-1 Deal." They want someone to come into their home and not only watch their child(ren), but someone to run the household as well. They figure since you are in their home, you might as well do everything they do. They want their child fed at certain times, bathed/cleaned up when they get home and they don't want the child to sleep too long since you are on the clock and shouldn't be paid to just "sit around." Ha!! It is a HUGE responsibility to keep a young child safe, entertained and in a good mood on a daily basis but many families think of childcare as ea$y money. So they also ask their nannies to do the wash, clean the house, care for the pets and do the grocery shopping. They try to nickel + dime the nanny to death and in the end this only makes them look bad. It shows they only care about stretching a dollar. They could care less if their child(ren) were getting sub-par care as long as they didn't have to mop the floor when they came home from work.

A family that truly loves and cares for their child will want their nanny and child to be 100% happy. They will not want to overwork their nanny. Their child's safety and well-being is all that they care about and they would be willing to pay any amount to have a healthy environment for their baby.
These families do not gripe if the laundry is not folded or the dishwasher did not get emptied because the nanny had to deal w/a baby w/gas issues, teething issues, etc. As long as the focus was on their baby, that is all they want.

This was a great thread until you had to ruin it with this post. Saying "[i]many families" is such an unfair generalization. There are bad families to work for out there just as there are bad nannies too. But as this thread demonstrates there are also great family/nanny relationships. If you had a bad experience or experiences I'm sorry but don't extrapolate that onto the rest of the population. The posts in this forum are not an accurate portrayal of most nannies and families out there. People don't usually get on any forum to post about the wonderful things that happen to them. People only post bad experiences. Kudos to whoever started this thread! It's refreshing to hear some good things for a change since in my experience as well as the experience of everyone I know, most nannies and families are very happy with their situations.