Which candidate would you choose?

[Anonymous]

We have two strong nanny candidates and are trying to choose which direction to go. Both have indicated they will take the position if offered the job. We have two children, one in second and one in K, and are hoping to find someone who will stay with us for several years.

"Susan" is a career nanny. She is 52, and we would be her fifth family. She tends to stay with families a long time, which is something we like. She seems like she would do the job calmly, with great dependability and little drama. She likes to do housework, cook, manage kids' clothing purchases, and more. She is slightly more expensive than our other candidate, but not enough so to make her out of our reach. Her personality is little bland for our tastes and we don't seem to have much in common with her on a personal level. I worry that school age kids may prefer someone a little more fun or with it as they get older.

"Grace" is 24 and has been an aupair overseas for two different families. She is currently a nanny with her third family, but doesn't like a few things about her current position (geography, pay, benefits) and wants to move on. She seems dynamic, energetic and says she wants to stay in her next position for a long time (2+ years). She has three years of college and feels like someone who would be fun to be with for adults and kids alike. With this candidate, I worry about the drama of boyfriends, things like cell phone/texting when she should be watching the kids, and possibly less vigor with household management. She also probably wouldn't stay as long, since she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life and is just nannying for now because she likes kids and travel.

WWYD?

[Anonymous]

OP here - I should add this is for a live-in position, which is why the potential for boyfriends matters.

[Anonymous]

How is Susan's rapport with the kids? If it is great, I would choose her for her maturity, dependability and experience.

[Anonymous]

Well a live-in position changes the nature of things a bit, especially in terms of the candidate with whom you feel the most "click" personality-wise, and which candidate might be slightly more flexible on living arrangements, which candidate would be the calmest addition to the household, etc...

But just based on what you've told us here I would hire Susan. I would presume that her longevity with you (assuming everyone is happy) is likely to be longer than that of a 24 year old, that her maturity level is greater, that her understanding of what it takes to run a household will be INFINITELY more accurate than that of a former au pair/24 year old, and that the extent to which she brings disruption into your household is likely to be less than that of a 24 year old. She may be a bit more bland, but she might also be more stable, calm and secure and that's as good for kids as fun is.

Not to knock 24 year olds of course, but I think one candidate is a "career" version of what you're looking for and the other is likely doing this for the short term while she figures out what she'll do with her life in the long run.

Susan is going to intuitively know what needs to be done to keep the household on track and will consider it her job to do those things automatically. Grace will likely need to be taught and/or encouraged to do those things. Grace will take more work, and possibly be more fun. Susan will relieve your burden and possibly be more staid.

I think it depends on your goals and what will cause the least stress for you. Susan sounds to me like the kind of person who will ease the tension in your shoulders while Grace will bring more laughter.

Perhaps. All of this, of course, is tremendously judgmental and Susan might turn out to be delightful and fun when she's not in formal interviewing mode. Grace might be a natural home-maker.

But that's just my two cents based on the bit of information, and based on having a nanny of my own who is a Susan. I come home to a spotless kitchen every night and it's just so fabulous. The other day she organized my linen closet when the kids were napping. She's a fantastic nanny and that matter most, but those little extra things that she does just because she knows they matter/help/are appreciated are sooo valuable to me.

[Anonymous]

For a live-out position, so different, I hired the "Grace" type candidate. She has been more than satisfactory, but given a "Susan" in my next candidate pool versus another "Grace" I would go with the "Susan." My sister-in-law has hired two "Grace"s and is now on her "Susan."

[Anonymous]

For live-in, Susan all the way.

[Anonymous]

Older one
- MB

[Anonymous]

I have a "Grace" who is perfectly wonderful for what she does and I have no major complaints, but if I had the energy and inclination to do it again, I'd choose a "Susan" all the way. Same caveats that everyone else said about judgments based on limited information, etc., but for this tired working mama, "fun" is overrated. Give me a bland but experienced childcare provider and household manager, and maybe I'd be more fun!

[Anonymous]

No one would choose the fun, younger nanny?

[Anonymous]

Go with the older, more experienced nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one would choose the fun, younger nanny?

Doesn't look like it, no.

[Anonymous]

I would actually choose the younger one. We had a "Grace" who lived with us for 3 years. We then hired someone like "Susan" but a bit younger (though older than our "Grace") and live-out. While she runs a great house hold (laundry is done, grocery is purchased, etc.), she hardly plays with my still young-ish kids (slightly younger than yours). The kids seemed starved for activity and fun and need to burn more energy off. It's a very personal decision based on what you really want the nanny to provide, but for us -- especially if the person is going to live-in -- finding the right "fit" is key. As long as you set the right ground rules from the beginning re boyfriends and texting, etc., it should not be a problem.

[Anonymous]

I'd go with the young and energetic nanny who will get down on the floor and play with your kids. Don't you want a nanny who can run around with the kids and play outside? I don't see a 50+ year old nanny having the energy your kids will need.

[Anonymous]

Susan. For me, stability and longevity of the relationship is important, and it sounds like Grace just needs the pay right now, but has bigger plans she's pursuing. So you'd be back to square one again.

[Anonymous]

Grace doesn't sound like she follows through on anything she does long-term. 3 years of college, but couldn't stay to bang out the 4th year to get the degree? Doesn't seem like she's stayed with any of the families she's worked with for more than a year, really.

Susan is the way to go. She doesn't need to be exciting to you. She's going to be spending the majority of her time with the kids. It's okay if she's a little bland with them - she's there to keep them safe, on schedule, and feeling loved and secure. She'll be like a live-in grandma to them. You want to hire Susan.