Which candidate would you choose?

[Anonymous]

Susan, definitely. Your kids are school aged, they don't need and nanny who can run around with them. They need a reliable nanny who will take them to their playdates and activities, supervise them, and take care of their needs.

[Anonymous]

While I may not be quite as old as Susan, I am a older nanny who gets on the floor with the little ones. I don't think age makes a difference on that one.



As far as the MB who wishes she had gone with the younger nanny, talk to your nanny about what you want from her. But it also sounds like they should learn to play on their own. They might need a little guidance from your nanny, but they should be able to come up with things o do on their own.

[Anonymous]

I think both candidates would be fine but would probably go with Susan myself. I would do a trial period ideally before move in to be sure she has the energy/rapport with the kids. Ultimately they need play dates/after school activities/friends in the neighborhood at this age more than just playing with nanny anyway.

You haven't addressed whether hiring grace is even legal. Many former au pairs are NOT legal to hire based on their visas. If you go with her I would proceed very carefully! This is one of the big reasons I'd choose Susan beyond experience.

Many younger (25-30's) nannies could have more than enough experience for your needs, but hiring a legal caregiver is very important.

[Anonymous]

OP- did you decide? what happened? I'm late to the voting but Susan for me. I agree with a PP that said Grace does not sound like she has stuck to anything. The fact that she is looking right now for multiple reasons would make me think she'll find little reasons not to want to work for you either. I hired a Grace that told us why she was looking - and we really wanted to believe her so we stupidly did.. well, she complained about things at our house too. Turns out all she wanted to do is go to the mall with her nanny friends and talk on the phone (which was not what I wanted her to do). She was outside playing at first but then stopped (we even had neighbors tell us that they never saw the kids outside- this was during the summer). We got rid of her.

[Anonymous]

If you didn't hire Susan, I'd like to!

We've had three Graces (I'm the "leaving before one year commitment poster) and there are some real drawbacks to the 20-something aspect. Just... drama. Lots of tearful conversations about things that are SO insignificant, although I remember being at that age and how important they felt then. I'm over being a big sister/mentor to them.

[Anonymous]

OP here - I'm in the process of doing a background check and calling references on Susan. Her references (three phone interviews so far) have been stellar and glowing. Plus, she provided five of them, three from jobs lasting more than three years. She has offered to do a night of babysitting with my children to let them get to know her better, too.

I've had two other interesting younger nannies in their mid-20's apply since I posted this. One is even finishing up her master's degree in my field of study. Grace has also been back in touch, expressing continued interest and wondering about next steps. It's so tempting to seriously consider these ambitious, exciting younger candidates, but I know in my heart that Susan makes the most sense. She is absolutely more qualified for the work at hand.

Thanks to all for your comments and thoughtful responses!

[Anonymous]

Thx for the update OP - I hope Susan turns out to be a great fit (for her also) for as long as you want her.

I bet you'll see all kinds of benefits you never expected!

Great to hear a success story.

[Anonymous]

As a younger "ambitious" nanny, I'm really sad to see how widely I'm being discriminated against simply because of my age.... Not one family I've worked for has been disappointed in their choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a younger "ambitious" nanny, I'm really sad to see how widely I'm being discriminated against simply because of my age.... Not one family I've worked for has been disappointed in their choice.

+1 it's my biggest pet peeve on this board.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, the older nannies feel the same way (discriminated against because of age). The american nannies feel they're perceived as "entitled" and overpaid. The foreign born nannies feel disrespected and presumed to be illegal or uneducated.

There is room and opportunity for everyone to be offended.

What is tough here (and on any anonymous listserv) in individual respect. But I think that's more a function of the forum, not the reality of the world.

And the truth is the MB's are always going to appreciate nannies who provide some housekeeping support, and that's a big part of what this thread has been about in the Susan v. Grace scenario.