Tell me if I'm overreacting - safety issue

[Anonymous]

I was at home one day last week to work on a specific household project. Our nanny was there (working her usual schedule) and was supposed to remain in charge of the kids, other than me nursing the baby rather than giving a bottle. So - here's the issue that arose:

Preschool pick up time. Nanny usually brings our 2 yr old and baby along at pick up and drop off. I had just finished nursing baby and heard garage door open, so I went downstairs to see if they had left yet. (Nanny knew it would have been fine to leave baby with me if I was nursing when it was time for pick up.) When I opened the door to our attached, tuck under garage (under the baby's room, by the way), I found (1) our vehicle running, while still parked in the garage; (2) the two year old sitting unsecured in her car seat - just hanging out in the vehicle, not strapped in; and (3) nanny out in the driveway moving her car. The exterior garage door was open, but it is clear that this wasn't a case where she was all ready to go, opened the garage door, turned in the car, then realized she needed to move hers. She clearly wasn't ready to go and had the car running in our garage before she strapped in the two year old. Oh, and when she saw me she said she was going to ask if she should bring the baby (again, clearly not ready to go if she was going to come back inside, ask that question, load baby into car seat, and then go).

I was extremely upset about this and thought it showed a huge lapse in judgment on more than one front. Carbon monoxide danger; toddler loose inside running vehicle; toddler loose and could get OUT of running vehicle and chase after nanny who is now moving her car.

Tell me if I'm overreacting and let me know how you'd handle. I need a perspective check. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Just tell her how to handle it next time. Done.

[Anonymous]

Nanny sounds overwhelmed by having to feed the baby, load baby and 2 yr old into the car, and then pick up the preschooler at school. You need to intervene, either by finding someone who can handle this situation or by reducing workload. Can someone else pick up the preschooler?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I was feeding the baby so she wasn't handling that. There is no one else to handle preschool pick up as parents work full time.

I also struggle to understand how someone can be overwhelmed by putting two children into a car at a known time on predictably scheduled days. Is that really such a challenging task, if it happens every day on a orally regular schedule? I'm seriously asking, not trying to be snarky.

My concern is with her apparent lack of common sense about basic safety issues. If I have to tell her not to leave an unsecured toddler alone in a running vehicle, and not to leave a running vehicle inside a garage, what else do I have to tell her? Do I gently remind her that kids shouldn't play with razor blades and matches? Where does her common sense start or end? That's my discomfort.

[Anonymous]

How did you find her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did you find her?

Nanny agency. She has previous experience, college grad, major that would seem to require critical thinking skills, etc. This is not her first lapse in judgment but is the one that's bothered me the most.

[Anonymous]

Discuss it with her tomorrow and get back back to us.

[Anonymous]

Apparently being a college grad isn't everything...
Which agency did you use?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apparently being a college grad isn't everything...
Which agency did you use?

I prefer not to say.

[Anonymous]

I'd discuss it with her tomorrow. I think you'd be shocked by how many people think that leaving the garage door open eliminates the risk of carbon monoxide poisoning when the car is running. I've encountered this misinformation on multiple occasions.

As for the leaving your 2 year old unrestrained, I agree that is a big issue. No one thinks something will happen, but it can be something small like breaking something in your car or getting his finger caught underneath the seat in front of him (I did this as a kid).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was feeding the baby so she wasn't handling that. There is no one else to handle preschool pick up as parents work full time.

I also struggle to understand how someone can be overwhelmed by putting two children into a car at a known time on predictably scheduled days. Is that really such a challenging task, if it happens every day on a orally regular schedule? I'm seriously asking, not trying to be snarky.

My concern is with her apparent lack of common sense about basic safety issues. If I have to tell her not to leave an unsecured toddler alone in a running vehicle, and not to leave a running vehicle inside a garage, what else do I have to tell her? Do I gently remind her that kids shouldn't play with razor blades and matches? Where does her common sense start or end? That's my discomfort.

You were home to nurse the baby that day but I assume on normal days, she usually feeds the baby a bottle around that time, then gets the baby and 2-year old into the car to pick up the preschooler. So she has even more to handle when you are not there. You are right to feel discomfort about her ability to handle your children by herself. She should never have left the car on or the 2-year old unsecured. Undoubtably, she would have left the baby in its car seat, the 2 year old dangling, and the nanny car running in the garage, in order to move her car. How will you be sure another nanny will be able to handle the situation better?

[Anonymous]

I would be pretty concerned also - especially if this isn't the first time you've had concerns about her judgment.

Just leaving the 2 yr old unsecured in the car seat is problem enough. Mine are only 18 mths and I can't leave them for a second - they'd be out and who knows where in a minute.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure what PP is getting at suggesting you won't be able to trust any nanny... seems unhelpful.

I think you should talk to her with specific points - DD should always be strapped in when in the car, even when being supervised and especially when not. Do not turn on the car before you're ready to pull out - carbon monoxide risk even with door open. So on.

I also think you're right to question her judgement after this scenario, but I don't think it's enough to warrant a dismissal. If you have a good relationship with the agency who placed her, I might say to call and talk to them about this and see what they think. It's hard for us to know if this was one day where she was making poor choices or if it it an ongoing issue of her lack of common sense.

But I do not think you are overreacting to be concerned by this.

[Anonymous]

Not suggesting she wouldn't be able to trust any nanny, just asking how she will know that another nanny is handling her three young children better. Perhaps she needs to ask more What If? questions in her interviews, drop in unannounced periodically, etc.

[Anonymous]

I think you're overreacting. Does your car have babylocks? Why not??? Modern cars aren't huge carbon monoxide producers. I REALLY wouldn't worry about that, esp for such a short time AND with the door open. Good grief.