Date night sitting

[Anonymous]

In the past, everyone I've babysat for has recognized that I'm coming straight from work or class, and has provided something for dinner. I work during the day in a share, and both families also use me for date night sitting. I typically work all day for them then go right into sitting that night with no break or chance to go get food, and neither family has provided anything to eat. Because its an infant share, they made clear up front I would not be provided meals during the day. I'm totally fine with that, but if I've been working at your house all day and go straight into sitting in the evening is it really not common courtesy to offer me something to eat?? Is this not the norm? If I'm crazy please let me know!

[Anonymous]

You aren't crazy, but as you know that they aren't going to provide food and continue to agree to sit for them for date nights, why not just order your dinner? No biggie.

As far as other families, that's nice that they provide dinner since you come straight from work or class, but if they one day didn't and you got upset, that would be on you. You are the one who chooses to sit without a break, right?

[Anonymous]

I suppose. I just find it a bit rude. But these employers are generally self absorbed. I shouldn't be surprised. They didn't even say goodbye to their kid. It knows no bounds.

[Anonymous]

You're accustomed to a certain courtesy from other families you babysit for. Your employers are not extending the same courtesy to you. I understand you'd prefer the same courtesy you receive from other families for evening babysitting, but I don't think it's something you can expect from your employers.

They made it clear to you upfront that you were to provide your own meals. I don't see why it would be different at night. If you're already planning for your lunch during the day couldn't you just pack food for dinner as well? I realize it's a bit of a pain to pack two meals, but the alternative is asking one parent to come home for 1/2 an hour between work and date night to allow you time to run out and get some food. You could also order in if packing a dinner is too much trouble.

I don't know that it's the "norm" to offer a babysitter dinner. Some families do, but others don't. Your employers may change their view once the infants get older and start eating table food. At that point you can ask if you can make extra for yourself of whatever you're making for the little one.

[Anonymous]

OP, your attitude kind of sucks. If I'm going anywhere for so long a period of time that it will cover mealtimes, then I bring meals, plan to order in, or plan to go out.

Also, I don't say goodbye to my child when I leave because then she bursts into tears and tries to follow me out, and then cries for a half hour. But if I slip out when she's otherwise occupied she is happy, even if she realizes I'm not there, asks for me, and gets told I went wherever and will be home later.

[Anonymous]

we have always offered our sitters to help themselves to food for dinner but they typically do not. I agree OP that it would be nice if they did offer but they surely see this as simply a continuation of your working day and think they have already settled the food question with you so likely see no reason why that would be different in the evening than during the day.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I guess I'm just annoyed they don't think to consider me. They came to me and asked if I would accept my regular rate for the evening, when truly it should be OT. I agreed as a courtesy and understand that my OT rate is far above what an evening sitter is paid. It just sucks to not get any consideration in return. From everyone's posts it seems most of you think I'm out of line, so I'll just keep my mouth shut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess I'm just annoyed they don't think to consider me. They came to me and asked if I would accept my regular rate for the evening, when truly it should be OT. I agreed as a courtesy and understand that my OT rate is far above what an evening sitter is paid. It just sucks to not get any consideration in return. From everyone's posts it seems most of you think I'm out of line, so I'll just keep my mouth shut.

I think you could bring this up politely, and just say that you're happy to continue bringing your own breakfast and lunch but if you're going to be there from 8am until 10, 11, 12 you'd appreciate it if you could make yourself a sandwich (or something) for dinner. If they can't agree to that you'll REALLY know what kind of people you work for (but I suspect they will).

[Anonymous]

Did you post this also on ISYN OP?

If so, I remember you!

Anyway, while it would be very courteous for a family to provide you w/dinner, it is only a given..not a requirement. In other jobs, employers are not "obligated" to provide meals for their employees. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. It doesn't matter what time their employees come in.

It is wrong of you to just expect a family to have dinner waiting for you. If they offer you to eat whatever you want in the fridge, that is awesome.
Just don't be too mad if they don't.

[Anonymous]

I always make my date night sitters food. THey can choose to eat it or not, but I think if they took time out of their night to feed my DD dinner, they might as well get some dinner too!

It sucks, sorry OP. Just order something stinky

[Anonymous]

I would see if they would pay for you to get food delivered on days you are working a date night as well as your day shift ($20) , esp if they aren't paying you over time when you are working over time !

The family i work for always makes extra of what they are making the kids or says help my self to whatever is in the fridge and i mostly do.

[Anonymous]

Bring it with you and problem solved. Easy.

[Anonymous]

It may not have occurred to them that you have not eaten. If they pay well, I would ask whether they mind you ordering food since there isn't time to go get anything. That may be enough to make them realize that they should offer something.

[Anonymous]

Next time they ask to have a date night, just tell them point blank that you need an hour break to go get something to eat. At that poin tthey may offer you their fridge, offer to order in, or say ok to the break. But ultimately meeting your needs is up to you since clearly they aren't looking out for you. But to answer your question...yes it would be nice if they just offered dinner bu tin my experience most won't unless it's a last minute thing and they want you there asap and know you're more likely to say no if you have to work all day and then all night w/o dinner.

[Anonymous]

I don't think any of my families would even consider me NOT eating with this kids in this type of situation. Normally I make dinner for them at the end of my day and I am allowed to eat with them if I choose to. Sometimes I will, sometimes I won't. If I am doing a babysitting night, then I tend to eat something before I get there and maybe bring a snack/drink as well. The parents always offer what they have made for the kids (or brought home like pizza) or make sure to tell me if I am cooking to make enough for myself. If I was working all day long and then staying for the evening as well, I think any of the parents would yell at their spouse if they didn't make it known that I could eat the same food as the kids do. They would never expect me to cook or feed the kids and not eat as well. That is rude to them, and to most people. The kids eat pretty healthy and so it's not stuff like chicken nuggets, but pasta, veggies, salad etc. So stuff that I would eat normally anyways. Like I said, I normally bring my own snacks/drinks since I want something specific but the offer always stands just in case.