Considering an au pair for busy household of 3 older children???

[Anonymous]

Children's ages are 14, 12, and 9. (High School, Middle School, Elementary School --at three different schools). I'm looking into au pair care part-time, mostly to help with the mornings and week nights (homework, dinner, ect). All children are self-sufficient but need "prodding" and "supervision". Plus the 3 different schools pulls me in a million different directions, with husband who travels occasionally. I need reliable adult at home for when schedules get wacky. I'm afraid I won't be able to find a reliable nanny to work from 3 to 6 or 7 p.m. and the occasional morning when I'm trying to get them all to school by myself? Do au pairs work in these situations? Would it be a good option for us?

[Anonymous]

yes it sounds like a good solution for you

[Anonymous]

Sounds perfect. We have an au pair with younger children and it is working out well, and the more I read, the more I'm thinking that it will be helpful to stick with the program for when they are all in school. A lot of people have au pairs for older children, exactly as you describe.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

In terms of the flexibility you are looking for, it sounds great. But be careful to get the right person. Au pairs are ages 18-26, so s/he will not be much older than your kids. We have three kids (2,7,12), and our au pair has had the most trouble with our 12 year-old. 12 yo doesn't want to listen to her or respect her authority as much, in large party because the child is so self-reliant, and our au pair has had trouble bonding with the 12 yo for a few different reasons. We're working on this, but the dynamic of the relationship with older kids and an au pair can be tricky, IMO. Think about what you are looking for that relationship to be and look for the right person to fill that.

[Anonymous]

I think this would work great for you. I would look for one that is older (definitely over 21 anyway) and someone that will be strong with your oldest.

[Anonymous]

We just finished matching for our seventh year of hosting APs, and there were several candidates we looked at who had extensive experience as scout leaders with pre and young teens. A candidate like this - with excellent English, as sometimes older tweens and young teens have trouble accepting authority from someone whose English isn't strong - would be great for you. I would look at German, Swiss, Austrian, or Swedish APs - someone with great driving experience and great experience with older kids, who is used to asserting authority and also has great ideas for how to engage older children.

[Anonymous]

+ if your kids are boys, getting a male would be better as well.

[Anonymous]

We have a 25 year old AP. She is fabulous with our children (11 and 8). She is our 4th and the first that was not German. The German APs we had were mixed. One was amazing (she was 21) and 2 were terrible (both 19). I recommend an older AP and one who has driven for a while.

Your situation is perfect for an AP, though.

[Anonymous]

We use AP for our now 14 and 12 yo DDs and it works well. Same schedule as yours, afternoons and driving around along with a few mornings, especially if one of us is travelling. Screen well for driving and make sure that your AP is independent and social since your job won't keep her busy and if she is sitting around the house all the time she will get lonely and depressed. We went for a younger Swedish au pair because the excellent English, driving and an academic girl (taking a gap year before college) was a good fit for our family.

[Anonymous]

I was an AP for a 9-year old boy and 12- and 14-year old girls and I had a wonderful experience. I enjoyed working with these older kids and being able to do activities with them that you can't do with younger ones (museums, water parks, hiking, etc.). Some APs are looking for older kids for those very reasons. Though it was challenging at times (puberty is not the easiest time for caretakers), I formed real connections with them and am still very close with them now, 7 years later (I'm back in the states to get my PhD). I consider them family.