How to answer...

[Anonymous]

I am starting to look for a new job and I am struggling with how to tell parents at interview why i am looking for a new job. In all my past jobs I left because the families moved or kids started school I am still close with most families i worked for. But the job I have now I am miserable for multiple reasons, mom now works from home and micro manages every breath I take, mother does exactly the opposite of what I say ( kids ask me for jumbo marshmellows at 6am I say no she walks right past me and give it to them), she now wants tons of housework done (shed rather put the kids in front of tv and me clean/cook/laundry all day, she now expects i work date nights for free instead od time and a half like the last 2 years, and a few other things. What am I suposed to tell parents at interviews why I want to leave

[Anonymous]

I left a job a couple years ago where the mom was nutty and things got very tense. I asked a pt mom I also worked for how she would wasn't to see that handled in the interview. She said she'd want the nanny to be honest and say I had problem xyz, but strayed two years because I cared about the kids and wanted then to have continuity of care. I've generally been honest without bashing in the interviews and some families really appreciate the honesty abbr some don't. It hadn't really hindered me and I see it as a wedding tool for the families who see themselves in the behavior I'm leaving.

[Anonymous]

Say that the position is not a good fit. It's a balance of honesty and not trashing your current employer. You can describe the things you don't like in a neutral way- "this is not right for me." Don't say it in a judgmental way- "My MB sucks and this is why." Also show willingness to take responsibility for your mistakes- "I now realize that I should work harder to make sure expectations are aligned before I start a new position. I learned the hard way that not doing this makes things harder for everyone."

The fact that you have had multiple positions and this is the first one that ended due to a poor fit looks good for you.

[Anonymous]

Just tell her the trutb and don't let her guilt you into staying. She would fire you in a heartbeat and you owe her or the children nothing.

[Anonymous]

I like some of the pp would tell a version of the truth. This job wasn't a good fit for me and so I am looking for one that is a much better fit. Or even the job has changed since I started and so the family and I are looking for different things (this is true, the MB has changed the terms of your employment on you [date night for free, huh!] and you are looking for a job that doesn't do that)

The problem may come if you haven't told your old employer that you are looking for a new job and a job you want asks for a reference from your old boss. Make sure you get a written reference from your current boss - state that a babysitting agency wants a written reference from you, or a volunteer position working with kids needs a written reference would she mind writting you one and then you will have a reference!

Good on you for not putting up with this and finding a new job! I hope you find a great one.

p.s I think if you find a family with whom you have a perfect fit with and you explain why its no longer a good fit they won't hold that against you.

[Anonymous]

MB here. The advice about saying it isn't the best fit for you is good. I would look at the total work history you have and understand if you said that the nature of this position has changed and you simply think it's time to move on. More than 2 years tenure is pretty stable so I wouldn't worry about that, and having the nature of the position change is a totally fair (not nasty) way to frame why you're leaving. The needs of kids and families change as the kids age also so that's another way to frame it. What they hired you for in the beginning is no longer what they need, and therefore no longer the best fit for any of you probably.

Re needing/wanting a reference - if you told me you weren't comfortable having your current employer contacted, but you could provide several references from other families (including the one you're currently doing PT work for) that would be fine for me. You can say that you're looking for another position but you're waiting to find the right one so don't feel comfortable having your current employers know that you're considering leaving until you have definite plans. It could take you a while to find the right fit. I would completely respect that (and frankly, it would make you even more attractive as a candidate given the maturity, calm, and professionalism it conveys).

Good luck!