How to quit?!?

[Anonymous]

I have only been with my family for 6 months and I am MISERABLE. I moved from out of state to work for them and it just isn't what I wanted. I REALLY want to move back home. My question is, how as a live-in do you quit.. should I give two weeks notice? I would love to give them longer, but I am so afraid they are going to freak out at me and then what.. I can't just go home to my house, as my house is their house.. HELP!?!

so NERVOUS...

[Anonymous]

Well, make sure you can move out and then give however long a notice you want.

[Anonymous]

Do you have ANYWHERE else you could stay if they were to have a bad reaction? I agree with PP that it would be better if you could move out first. If you have no other place to stay and that isn't an option you need to just write our your points and have a sit down talk with why you're unhappy and why you're leaving. I would hope that as long as you give them a fair amount of time to find a new nanny, they would not 'freak out'. This is why I have a contract with my live-in family and you really shouldn't go without one.

[Anonymous]

If you just don't trust them, tell them on a Friday. You need to be ready to pack up immediately and leave. It's hard to know how they will behave. I am sorry it's turned out so badly. What city?

[Anonymous]

OP here.. I am from out of state and I really don't know anyone here. I do have a fellow nanny who said I could come stay with her if it gets ugly.. maybe I should ship some of my stuff home prior to telling them (they would never notice) and that way if it gets really bad, I can pack my suitcases and go?!

I do have a contract with them.. 6 pages in fact but that doesn't mean they won't be really upset that I am leaving so soon. I know they loved the longevity I had with my past families and really expected that. However, my contract is employment at will.. so there was no written time commitment, just that I give a 2 weeks notice.

I just can't imagine telling them I am quitting and then having to still live in their house.. I am so stressed

[Anonymous]

OP, you don't give us enough info. Is your goal to go back home? Stay where you are and just get a new job? Are you miserable because you're homesick? You understand if you give notice, they have to start interviewing new nannies and may show your living space to them while you're still living in it, right?

[Anonymous]

OP, you may want to swing by your local police department or call them. It most likely illegal for them to put you on the street. If you ask the police, then you'll know where you stand. That family may be very surprised to learn the law. Even if the nanny stops working, she can stay there, for a reasonable period, until she can find another place to live.

[Anonymous]

OP, yes I am going to be moving back home. So I am not looking for another job here. My fear isn't that they will throw me on the streets, although I guess that is possible.. but I think they are going to freak out, and yell and scream (ha).. and then I have to continue to live here the next two weeks?!?

Just didn't know if anybody had experience quitting a live-in job..?

[Anonymous]

Don't stay there of they make it difficult for you.

[Anonymous]

Op I was in the exact same position as you when I was a live-in. I had been with the family for 6 months and I wanted out. We had agreed upon a year but as you said nannies are at will employees. When I was ready to give them notice I was terrified to tell them. I seriously just stood outside their bedroom door for almost an hour trying to get the courage to knock on their door. When I finally went in I just told them I was no longer happy in the position and that I was given a month notice. To say the least they were furious, the dad basically cussed me out and then tried to get me to stay for 2 months instead of 1. When I finally left their room I was in tears at the idea of staying the whole month of my notice. Then the next morning the dad knocked on my door at the crack of dawn and asked me if I had changed my mind I said I hadn't. He went on to say that I had 2 hours to pack my things and get out.

My advice to you OP is to be ready to leave when you give your notice and then NEVER do a live-in position again. I've been doing live-out positions since my live-in and I could be happier.

[Anonymous]

couldn't be happier not could

[Anonymous]

OP, I was in your position last summer. I moved 8 hours away from my home state for a live-in position in Virginia. I had every plan on staying with them for a minimum of a year but unfortunately 7 months in, I got really home sick and with some other issues going on with the family, I just couldn't stay any longer. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to worry about them kicking me out or screaming, etc. I sat down with the mom and told her that I was just really home sick, etc. and that I wanted to move back home. In our work agreement, we had it that I had to give them 8 weeks notice. I very well could have just given them 2 but I wanted to respect our agreement so in April, I gave them 8 weeks and moved back home in June.

Since you are so concerned with how they are going to react, I would start shipping some stuff back to your home and then give them 2 weeks notice. Also, double check with your friend again and make sure she would be okay with you staying with her for a couple of days, should the family ask you to move out ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I was in the exact same position as you when I was a live-in. I had been with the family for 6 months and I wanted out. We had agreed upon a year but as you said nannies are at will employees. When I was ready to give them notice I was terrified to tell them. I seriously just stood outside their bedroom door for almost an hour trying to get the courage to knock on their door. When I finally went in I just told them I was no longer happy in the position and that I was given a month notice. To say the least they were furious, the dad basically cussed me out and then tried to get me to stay for 2 months instead of 1. When I finally left their room I was in tears at the idea of staying the whole month of my notice. Then the next morning the dad knocked on my door at the crack of dawn and asked me if I had changed my mind I said I hadn't. He went on to say that I had 2 hours to pack my things and get out.

My advice to you OP is to be ready to leave when you give your notice and then NEVER do a live-in position again. I've been doing live-out positions since my live-in and I could be happier.

Let it be known that they CANNOT force you out of the house right then. They have to evict you. If they try to force you out, you can call the police. The police will tell them that they cannot do that. They have to give you 2 weeks if you are on a month to month deal. If you have no written deal, it is month to month. Even if they try and say you were just living there and not paying rent, living there rent free (even if not working for the family) means they have to take the legal route to get you to leave if you don't leave willingly.

So no, they cannot force you out in 2 hours like they did to PP above. She should have shut her door, said she would be out in 2 weeks and called the cops.

[Anonymous]

My advice is: pack your things and move it from the house FIRST. Leave only the basic things you'll be using the next few days. THEN you talk to them to give the notice. That way, if they tell you to leave immediately, you'll be able to be free faster!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My advice is: pack your things and move it from the house FIRST. Leave only the basic things you'll be using the next few days. THEN you talk to them to give the notice. That way, if they tell you to leave immediately, you'll be able to be free faster!

You CALL 911 to stop them. Period.