Nanny birthday gift

[Anonymous]

We'll have a little party with food and a card from us and the kids, but should we also give cash? If so, how much? We did cash and gifts at Christmas but she didn't seem to really like the gifts so I'm inclined not to try again if it's not something she's into. I know some people will probably suggest giving the day off, but that's not an option with the current schedule. She already has one day a week off anyway so not sure that would be much of a bonus.

[Anonymous]

Can I ask why you thought she didn't like the gifts?

Full disclosure: I'm a nanny. I love getting a cash bonus for my birthday (and Christmas) but I don't expect it. If your nanny is wonderful and you want to give her a bonus, that's the time to do it, but if she was ungrateful for her Christmas presents I can't imagine wanting to give her anything more. If she wasn't ungrateful, just didn't seem to think they were perfect, and you are really happy to have her, by all means, a small bonus is appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can I ask why you thought she didn't like the gifts?

Full disclosure: I'm a nanny. I love getting a cash bonus for my birthday (and Christmas) but I don't expect it. If your nanny is wonderful and you want to give her a bonus, that's the time to do it, but if she was ungrateful for her Christmas presents I can't imagine wanting to give her anything more. If she wasn't ungrateful, just didn't seem to think they were perfect, and you are really happy to have her, by all means, a small bonus is appropriate.

PP here. Meant to say - amount is completely up to you! It varies from family to family depending on what you can afford. Hopefully some other MBs will be able to let you know what they've done.

[Anonymous]

OP here - I know she liked the cash because she mentioned that several times. The other gifts were small but we had picked them out based on what she said she liked. We got a cashmere sweater, scarf and wallet. She never mentioned any of them (we weren't there when she opened them) and I've never seen her use them. I'm assuming they got regifted. It's fine if they weren't her taste, no problem. I was a little put off that she didn't say anything about them since we had spent time shopping for her, but I just decided to take it as a sign that cash is the preferred gift and not stress about it. Anyway, my question is really do we need to give anything - is that standard for birthdays? And if so, what's an appropriate amount?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I know she liked the cash because she mentioned that several times. The other gifts were small but we had picked them out based on what she said she liked. We got a cashmere sweater, scarf and wallet. She never mentioned any of them (we weren't there when she opened them) and I've never seen her use them. I'm assuming they got regifted. It's fine if they weren't her taste, no problem. I was a little put off that she didn't say anything about them since we had spent time shopping for her, but I just decided to take it as a sign that cash is the preferred gift and not stress about it. Anyway, my question is really do we need to give anything - is that standard for birthdays? And if so, what's an appropriate amount?

Mmmm, I'm not impressed with her behavior from your description. A thank you card is appropriate when you're not opening gifts together, and PARTICULARLY since it came from her employers.

I don't think you'll get any consensus on what is standard, but a nice card and a bottle of wine, gift certificate to a restaurant, or $50 seems like plenty in this case. I do think it is standard to recognize her birthday, but I don't think you should go out of your way for a nanny who couldn't be bothered to thank you for her earlier gifts.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I wasn't thrilled but I try to let these things go and remind myself that everyone has different standards. I've decided it's not great for anyone if I dwell on it and start feeling resentful. The amount suggestion is helpful, thanks.

[Anonymous]

My MB gave me a $50 Gift Card (The Visa one) and let me off 2 hours early on my birthday. So perhaps this will do for your nanny to.

Although I agree with PPs that it was slightly rude of her to not thank you for the other items you gave her for Christmas. Whether it was her taste or not, it's simply appropriate and polite to thank someone for a gift.

[Anonymous]

Very rude behavior on her part, so while I agree $50-100 is common in my experience... I'd do $25 and a card/cupcake and call it a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very rude behavior on her part, so while I agree $50-100 is common in my experience... I'd do $25 and a card/cupcake and call it a day.

+1. Her attitude would take the pleasure out giving her a gift so I'd do exactly the same. For my nanny who loves receiving gifts and is very appreciative, we usually get her a big bouquet of her favorite flowers, a personal gift costing at least $100, a cake, and cards from the kids and us. Cash bonuses are reserved for the end of the year and milestone anniversaries.