Help! Tips and tricks needed!!
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Anonymous
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Between the time I interviewed with my current family and the time I started (4weeks) they decided to adopt a montessori approach to child raising. I will be the first to admit I knew very little about this parenting style so it was a major "learn as you go" type deal for me. Well now I've been here a few months and I'm going insane. Oldest DC makes ALL of her own decisions and is rather overwhelmed at times and falls out in a crying fit (3yr old). Youngest DC is an infant, sleeps on a crib mattress on the floor in an unbabyproofed room. This kiddo is a terrible sleeper- constantly falling off the bed and waking up in a panic/scream mid sleep. There are absolutely no "restraint" type things here. No swing, no bouncer, no jumper, exersaucer etc. I have literally turned into helicopter nanny trying to keep this baby not only entertained but safe. Does ANYONE have any tips for me? Keeping him on his bed is the immediate need (for both our sanities). There are so many days this DC sleeps 15-20min a day, the entire day I'm here. The poor thing is exhausted.
Holding baby DC while asleep is a no no. DB already brought that up. As is just starting him the floor. Somehow I am supposed to train this 6month old stay on this mattress. Hence why I'm asking you ladies. Oh, baby DC does sleep marginally better at night, however it's only for 2-3 hrs at a time and then rolls off the bed and is wide awake. |
Anonymous
| Wow. |
Anonymous
| Can you put a folded towel or rolled up blanket on the side of the mattress go help baby learn where the edge is? |
Anonymous
| And maybe give the 3 yo 2 options for her decisions so she isn't as overwhelmed? |
Anonymous
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... I honestly don't know what you should do. This would be a difficult situation for anyone... wth kind of a parenting strategy is that?
Like a PP mentioned, try putting up a barrier of blankets and pillows around the baby's bed so that he can "feel out" the edge. It's simply unfair to let him fall off the bed and awake with a start. sleep is so crucial towards a child's growth and development, and the parent's should be doing their best to make that happen... not throwing him on a mattress and letting him fall off when he rolls. smh. -_- |
Anonymous
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This is almost like my style of nannying, the only difference is I would swaddle the baby so he can roll and make sure the mattress is against as many walls as possible. By the exposed side, place a pillow or towel but be careful of suffocation. The baby will eventually figure it out, it would have been easier if they switched him from a bassinet to mattress pad at age one, rather then at such a young age.
You shouldn't need to restrain a child and I absolutely hate all bouncers, exosausers etc. all you need a rug, pillows or boppy by the toys and you teach the baby how to play. As for the 3yr old, This philosophy isn't meant to overwhelm. You just give the child more options rather choosing for them. Since she is young, you give two or three options of activities that you noticed she likes. It's all about observing their interests and building off of it. The children are also expected to be self reliant, they clean up and set up for every activity, meals etc. when this Philosophy is done correctly, the children are very independent and have a greater love of learning because they learn their way. They also understand boundaries and consequences better then most children. You should really read more about it and possibly observe a Montessori based preschool. |
Anonymous
Quit. Don't put up with this. Poor children. |
Anonymous
| I saw a trick on Pinterest where you take a pool noodle and place it on the edge of the mattress, but underneath the sheet. That way, there is nothing on top of the sheet to bother/suffocate baby, but there is a built-in safety net to keep them from falling off the mattress. Admittedly, this was supposed to keep toddlers from falling off of their mattresses, so I'm not sure how it would work with a baby but I think that it would do the trick. |
Anonymous
That's a great idea |
Anonymous
| Or just get one of those foam play mats or the daycare mats and put a blanket on top of it. It's basically on the floor so the baby isn't rolling off anything. |
Anonymous
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http://www.dailymontessori.com/montessori-at-home/montessori-home-parenting-tips-under-3/
This site will help you. I especially liked this tip: 3. Freedom of Choice Always give them a choice. This is best when dealing with toddlers and you are engaging in a power struggle. Give them only two choices for things that will involve them. They can have dinner now or they can have it later with everybody else, they can wear the blue or the red shorts with the green top. |
Anonymous
| I'm an MB reading up on Montessori right now. It sounds like they are doing it wrong, as several of the PPs pointed out. |
Anonymous
These items are necessarily there to RESTRAIN the child, they are there to provide stimulation of a different form. Most babies I know absolutely LOVE the swing (what child doesn't like to swing when older? It is the same thing...), the vibrating chair, and exosaucers get them used to being in a standing position while having tons of fun playthings in front of them that they get to choose what to play with. It also gets them ready to use a walker which helps to get them to walk instead of crawling before they are actually able to. Babies love all of these activities and most people DON'T put them in them just to restrain the baby. Are they never going to be put into a carseat and driven around in a car at any time either? That would restrain them even more so... |
Anonymous
There are plenty of people who support not using those devises. There are good, evidence-based reasons. What babies need, as long as they will take it, is plenty of independent floor play to develop their gross motor skills. Those skills are critically related to their visual deveopment. For example depth perception doesn't develop until crawling begins. Those skills are also related to their social development, emotional development, and whole host of other issues. I personally think that 20 minutes a day or so in an exersaucer is handy for caregivers to get a break, but I didn't kid myself that it was doing much of anything for my child. It's certainly not necessary. |
Anonymous
| Somehow I don't think 5 minutes in a swing or bouncy chair is going to hurt their development. I never said that any baby needs these things, nor would I ever suggest to have a baby in them for long periods of time like the women in that article was used to doing. I think 20 minutes is actually the maximum amount of time for the baby to be using any of these, but 5 minutes a couple times a day is NOT going to get the baby thinking that he needs to sitting up straight before he can actually do it on his own, just like a few minutes of tummy time will not make the baby think they need to lay face down either. There is no break for me when using these devices. I don't walk away and do something else, I interact with the child even if it is just smiling at them. I am not one of those nannies or SAHMs that plop the child into the bouncy seat for an hour or more so I can get a break. But I also don't think that the devices restrain baby all that much either. There are times a baby doesn't want to be rolling around on the floor anymore, and calms down when being put into a swing for a few minutes. If the baby shows he doesn't want to be in the swing after the first minute, I take him out. If he's not happy we don' do it. |