Nanny and 2 year old

[Anonymous]

Hi,
I wanted to see what other people's expectations were with their nanny and two year old... Does your nanny go out of their way to find friends from your child? Can your 2 yo have a play date while the nanny is there? What about arts and crafts projects?
My daughter is very independent and finds things to play with all of the time, but I have things I want my nanny to work on with her - sharing, not always getting what she wants (not that she gets this because she is spoiled per se, just that there's no one else around!). I also want them to start to do craft things but my nanny doesn't initiate that.

I believe they play together, but I don't know how much is really playing with her versus talking to my daughter as she plays.
I know it's also hard because I have an 8 month old too (who sleeps for at least an hour in the morning when my daughter does not sleep). My daughter is totally content just playing with someone around, but i want to have a little more focus and structure on her too (a lot of play and a little educational session maybe - learn to do the arts and crafts, for example).

Anyway I wanted some feedback on setting my expectations... Am i looking for too much?
I sort of feel like my nanny is getting tired of things as I know she's a great nanny and I value her a lot.. but I need to balance those thoughts with knowing things can change.

Thank you for your help!

[Anonymous]

It's a little hard to judge from just this info whether or not you're asking too much. A 2 year old and an infant makes for a very busy, exhausting day. I think play dates are possible certainly, but that takes juggling in and of itself.

Are you asking the nanny to do anything that you wouldn't be able to handle yourself? I'm not attacking - I just think it's a good question to ask of ourselves as MBs to ensure our expectations are realistic. I know what it takes to handle my kids all day long, and I know what might work one day could be simply way out of the question another. Or when the schedules are so fluctuating and conflicting that there aren't windows for relaxed arts and crafts projects, etc...

So start there - what is realistic for you on any given day when having sole care of both of your children? Then talk with your nanny about what you would like to build in (ideally) and see what she thinks is feasible and/or helpful.

[Anonymous]

Personally I'm not a huge fan of crafting at that age. I usually feel like I wind up doing most of the crafting, and the child winds up roaming around the house getting sticky gluey fingers all over things .

I much prefer activities like painting/finger painting, coloring, etc. Things where I am obviously still supervising and interacting, but the child is a lot more self sufficient in the actual DOING.

As for play dates, I'm generally pretty willing. At this age make sure they're not drop-off (otherwise your nanny is just babysitting an extra child for free). It can also be awkward for a nanny to have a playdate with MB's friend. You might ask if she has any nanny friends with similar age charges, or else try joining a play group or class where they can work on those same skills.