How best to let my nanny go?

[Anonymous]

Our nanny has been with us for almost 2 years. My kids are now all in some sort of school a few hours a day and I do consulting work on a project-by-project basis. I thought we'd keep her at least through the summer but we are in the midst of planning a home remodel and we need to cut back on "extras". My DH (who also appreciates our nanny) thinks she needs to go.

I'm not a confrontational person and I don't know how best to bring it up. She's become family and it's upsetting to me to let her go. I believe my husband should be with me when we talk with her. I also know other (good!) families in my neighborhood looking for help, so I could give her leads. I will definitely give her an amazing recommendation. She's been great for my family and for me.

Please no judgement. I'm only looking for serious suggestions on how to properly let her go.

[Anonymous]

Give her as much notice as possible, be flexible about her need to schedule interviews, and help as much as you feel comfortable to find a new job. Just please when you talk to her, don't tell her you're letting her go because you're cutting back on "extras" to afford your home-remodel. That will not make her feel valued, or like "family" as you call her.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your candid response. What do you recommend we say to her since we are letting her go earlier than anticipated? The natural break would be the summer, so I feel we are letting her go early - much earlier than I want!

[Anonymous]

Just tell her the kids are in school, you'll be home more and as such need to cut back on spending. Jobs are often easier to come by leading up to summer so letting her know sooner vs later will help her in her search. Tell her it's nothing she did, she's been amazing and you'll be happy to give a positive reference and hope to continue seeing her for date nights. Tell he ryou know some peole looking and will be more than happy to pass on her info if she desires.

[Anonymous]

I think you've gotten some good advice (especially the point about not calling her an "extra").

Just be honest. Your sentences about how she's family and you're upset to let her go, she's been great for all of you, etc... but you have to make some changes, all sound genuine and gracious. Be generous w/ severance if you can and definitely let her know that you have ideas for some leads, want to help her find her next position, will give an amazing recommendation, etc...

She might be upset initially but it sounds like you're very genuine and hopefully the trusting, caring relationship goes both ways.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

We were in a very similar situation. We LOVE our nanny. What we did is we gave lots of notice and told her that we would keep her on until she found a new, equivalent situation with another family. Good nannies are snatched up quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were in a very similar situation. We LOVE our nanny. What we did is we gave lots of notice and told her that we would keep her on until she found a new, equivalent situation with another family. Good nannies are snatched up quickly.

This! Give her lots of a notice and don't just give her a reference, call your friends and neighbors and let them know you have an amazing nanny your children have outgrown and you would love to find her a new position. Keep her on as long as you can/until she can get settled in somewhere else - as PP said, if she's really wonderful it won't take long.