Did my nanny steal or misunderstanding?

[Anonymous]

Typing this from the phone, please excuse typos!

I've had my nanny for 8 months and I love everything about her. She has never given me a reason to second guess her or not trust her. But I'm not sure if I shouldbe concerned about something that happened last week.

My daughter usually has piano on Saturday. Her teacher called last week and asked if we could reschedule it to Friday. So, the night before I left a $50 bill on the kitchen counter for the teacher to pick up after the lesson.

Friday afternoon the piano teacher rescheduled again. My husband and I ended up staying later for an event, which put the nanny into overtime. When we got home, I paid her for the week, including the overtime.

The piano teacher ended up coming on Saturday afterall which reminded me about the $50 bill - but I didn't see it anywhere. I later sent a text to the nanny asking if she had seen it or put it somewhere. She didn't respond until the next day, and said that she took it because she thought it was for her extra hours on Friday.

She ended up returning it, but I find it odd that she took it in the first place. I NEVER leave money out for her to collect. I always pay her in check and I paid her for overtime that night. At the same time, maybe it was a misunderstanding? I really like her, but I don't want that to cloud my judgement. Does this sound suspicious at all to you?

[Anonymous]

I think it would be more suspicious if she didn't admit to it. However, it is odd that she would take it to begin with. I would never assume that money on the counter was meant for me if I had worked overtime, etc. At the same time, she could have just admitted it because you called her out on it. I think it comes down to how much you trust your nanny. Maybe try putting a $20 bill somewhere and see if it's still there after a couple of days. If it's not, find someone new ASAP. If it is, then it was just a misunderstanding with her.

[Anonymous]

I think it's suspicious that she didn't answer the text un til the following day. She most likely thought it over and knew if she lied her job was on the line so made up an excuse and went with it. She probably knew that you would realize the $50 was there prior to her arriving, and was missing after she left.

Maybe she took it thinking noone would notice. ? Her excuse doesn't run well because she obviously seen that you paid her the overtime. If that was me I would have atleast said ""Oh, I assume the $50 you left was over time"" then give the money back. She waited for you to contact her and then waited a day to text you back. And I don't believe she didnt see the text, esp nowadays when everyone is attached to there phones.

[Anonymous]

Yea, the text-response time and the fact that we both verbally acknowledged that her check included overtime concerns me. I could see her initially thinking it was her overtime money (even though it should have been more if so) but how do you just forget you have an extra $50? Sigh... I really really don't want dishonesty to be the case here. It would crush me.

[Anonymous]

I'm concerned that you still trust her with your child.

[Anonymous]

I'd NEVER pick up money laying around unless I was specifically told exactly that it was for me. For the nanny to not give the $50 back when you paid her the same night is shady, as well as not responding until the next day.

[Anonymous]

I can see her side. Maybe she was rushing to leave and didn't think things through. She admitted to taking the money and returned it. I'd keep her, but any time you're leaving money out for something, put a post-it on the bill saying what it's for.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have picked up money off the counter and assumed it was for me. However, if I did, and made a mistake like that I would be very embarrassed, which could explain a delay in response. The other option could be that her phone was off or she was busy and unable to respond to your text until the next day.

[Anonymous]

OP needs some clarity.

[Anonymous]

I agree that the slow response time could be from embarrassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's suspicious that she didn't answer the text un til the following day. She most likely thought it over and knew if she lied her job was on the line so made up an excuse and went with it. She probably knew that you would realize the $50 was there prior to her arriving, and was missing after she left.

Maybe she took it thinking noone would notice. ? Her excuse doesn't run well because she obviously seen that you paid her the overtime. If that was me I would have atleast said ""Oh, I assume the $50 you left was over time"" then give the money back. She waited for you to contact her and then waited a day to text you back. And I don't believe she didnt see the text, esp nowadays when everyone is attached to there phones.

Not everyone sees a text right away. I have my phone in my purse which is usually on me or near me, but even when I have it on my shoulder, I don't always hear it go off. I had a great cheap phone before that I could set to keeping beeping periodically until I opened the text (I would have it set to every 15 minutes) so that I would never miss them. My newer fancy smartphone doesn't have this feature (crazy but true). Since I don't always LOOK at my phone if not needed (I wear a watch to see the time), it CAN be hours before I notice that I had gotten a text. I also don't text anyone back after 9/10pm since it might disturb them when they don't want to be, so if I see something later on, I wait until the next day to reply.

Not saying that I think the nanny didn't try to steal the money, but the reason the "I didn't see the text" excuse works when people use it, is because it is possible for it to happen.

[Anonymous]

Hm, perplexing situation. Can I suggest that maybe she forgot she took it and when you handed her a check for the OT, she was in a rush and didn't think about the $50 and returning it to you? I don't know though, I mean, it definitely is odd. BUT if she did take it, would she be naive enough to think that no one would notice, if she was really stealing it?! Only you know your nanny and have the in-person instincts....how quickly does she normally respond to texts, also? If she usually takes awhile, then a day later could be normal but if she usually responds immediately (my MB does so I know if there's ever a lag, she must be super busy) then that is another point for suspicion.

Let us know how it turns out! GL!

[Anonymous]

OP, so what happened?

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the responses and feedback. I haven't said anything further about it to her so far. About the phone, the reason I brought it up in the initial post was because she always responds to my texts quite quickly, even late at night or during the weekends. I presume she is the type that always has her nose in her phone during her free time (not my business unless she's with the kids, which we have an understanding that she's not supposed to be on her phone while working unless an emergency).

Tomorrow is Friday and I will be paying her for this past week. I think the best way to approach this is to directly ask her why she didn't return the $50 once I paid her? I will do it in a nonconfrontational way. I'm hoping her body language and her response will be clear enough either way. I did think about putting out more money to see if it happened again, but I think she is too smart to fall for that.

I will report back what happens. Like I said, I could totally see how it could be a mistake on her part, but the way everything adds up, it could also NOT be a mistake.

[Anonymous]

Did she know that the check you gave her included her overtime? If she didn't look at the check when you gave it to her, she wouldn't know that her OT was included and could have been continuing to think that the $50 was for her.