MBs:What was it about your nanny that made you choose her?

[Anonymous]

I'm interviewing this week for what seems to be the perfect job for me, and I'm looking for the best ways to sell myself! I'd like honest answers about why you chose your particular nanny, even if the answer is "because she was the cheapest". Thanks!

[Anonymous]

She was genuinely warm, humble, calm. And she immediately wanted to play with and hold the babies (it was a share) but wasn't overwhelming with them; she approached them calmly and respectfully.

I swear, I could tell the minute I met her that I wanted to hire her. And she stayed with us VERY happily (for all involved) for 5 years.

[Anonymous]

I agree with 11:21 that being immediately interested in holding/playing with the baby is a big sell. It's not something you can fake, either (well, you probably can if you're good at faking in general, but it's got to at least appear pretty genuine). A genuine love for kids shines through.

Other things: strong communication skills in English as neither my H or I speak another language and we need to be able to communicate, she was dressed appropriately (another candiate came to our house in very high heeled boots and generally dressed like she was headed to a night out - very offputting), she shared our religion (not a requirement, but a nice-to-have).

[Anonymous]

He was direct. He looked me in the eyes, didn't mumble when he talked, and I didn't feel like he was just telling me whatever he thought I wanted to hear.

When I asked what he'd do while the baby napped, he had answers ready. When I asked if he'd be willing to do errands, he had a very reasonable answer. He asked great questions.

I just .... trusted him.

[Anonymous]

Don't try to "sell" yourself - try to see if it's the best fit for you - and if you think it is, say why. Assuming it's your perfect job is about more than just money, it might be the things that appeal to you that make you the right fit for the family.

I chose my nanny (out of 4 that I interviewed) because of how she was so clearly drawn to my kids, because of her stellar references, because of the way she asked me questions about my parenting style (instead of criticizing things she saw in my home as another candidate did) and because I just had a good gut feeling about her. She also happened to be legal, affordable, have a car, etc... and all the other basic things that made her one of the 4 I met in person, but it was the gut instinct that made me pick her.

[Anonymous]

OP here, and thanks for your responses! Perhaps "sell myself" was not the best choice of words. I have no intention of faking the most desirable traits possible. I just wanted to hear from people who have chosen a nanny, what things are most important that I haven't thought of.

[Anonymous]

I've always had a problem going into interviews and asking to hold a baby/infant. If the child is old enough to be on the floor and playing then of course I approach them and try to play for a while. However, if a parent is holding a baby and doesn't offer for me to hold them, then I just don't feel comfortable asking to hold the baby. A lot of people are weird about strangers or people they don't know well yet holding their children.

To the parents who said that an interest in the children was very important, how should a nanny handle this situation?

[Anonymous]

I had a newborn when I was interviewing nannies, so I wasn't looking for someone to hold the baby. In fact, someone that understood the issues with a newborn and hygiene was a plus.

What sold me on our current nanny is that she was a very calming influence, which was perfect for my husband and I who are much more type A. She made me feel comfortable, spoke and communicated clearly (and I felt like she and my husband and I communicated) which was important. I interviewed at least one nanny who didn't answer my questions, which was a major minus since I want to be able to ask how my kids are and to get an answer to what I ask.

I also had one candidate who dressed inappropriately. I agree that was a major minus. Even if a nanny job is not a suit-wearing situation off the shoulder tops and high heels are not appropriate clothing.

I think communication and trust are key. And that will go both ways - you should see what you think of the family! Good luck with your interview.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've always had a problem going into interviews and asking to hold a baby/infant. If the child is old enough to be on the floor and playing then of course I approach them and try to play for a while. However, if a parent is holding a baby and doesn't offer for me to hold them, then I just don't feel comfortable asking to hold the baby. A lot of people are weird about strangers or people they don't know well yet holding their children.

To the parents who said that an interest in the children was very important, how should a nanny handle this situation?

Say, "Where can I wash my hands so I can hold your baby?" Then I can say "In the kitchen," or "Oh, I'm not comfortable with that yet." There were a couple of nanny interviews I did where the nannies made me so uncomfortable I didn't want them to touch the baby at all.

[Anonymous]

she just clicked w/ us right away. Honestly by 10 minutes in I knew we wanted to hire her. DH felt same way on 2nd interview.
She was very at ease and confident in her abilities yet deferential to us as being the parents (so being the deciders ultimately) which as a FTM was the blend that reassured me. She was also very fluent in English which was also a big plus, having interviewed nannies previously who seemed quite hesitant to talk.
DD was a very crochety baby but did not make a peep when the nanny took her upon meeting her during interview #2.
Honestly that is why we hired her - we just got a great feel from her. She is not perfect but no one is. She's been w/ us about 5 years now though so it was a very good match.

I think price is important for families mostly in ensuring that they can afford (however they define that for themselves) you. But I would not pick 1 nanny over another just to save a dollar an hour if I liked the slightly more expensive one more.

[Anonymous]

Oh, I also liked that the first question out of her mouth was NOT "how much are you paying". Again, this was the case more times than I care to count and although I realize this is a critical aspect, it definitely left a bad taste and made it clear that it was mostly about pay for the nanny and not about good fit. nanny we hired did not ask about pay - I brought it up when we got towards the end of the discussion and I had moved into the compensation package we planned to offer. If you have reason to think the family may be way below your range, then the most graceful way to handle it in my view is to state in accepting the interview that you look forward to learning about her and her fmaily. And then include that your rate ranges from X to Y depending on the position details, so you are happy to discuss this more once you sit down on Z date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've always had a problem going into interviews and asking to hold a baby/infant. If the child is old enough to be on the floor and playing then of course I approach them and try to play for a while. However, if a parent is holding a baby and doesn't offer for me to hold them, then I just don't feel comfortable asking to hold the baby. A lot of people are weird about strangers or people they don't know well yet holding their children.

To the parents who said that an interest in the children was very important, how should a nanny handle this situation?

Say, "Where can I wash my hands so I can hold your baby?" Then I can say "In the kitchen," or "Oh, I'm not comfortable with that yet." There were a couple of nanny interviews I did where the nannies made me so uncomfortable I didn't want them to touch the baby at all.

This is perfect. Or if you don't want to ask to hold the baby, look at her from a respectful distance like you're genuinely interested in her.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks everyone for these suggestions! I also always felt awkward asking new mom's to hold their baby as a total stranger to them.

[Anonymous]

I'm another nanny who feels awkward instantly befriending babies and young toddlers. At a certain point, they are big enough to "get" what's happening and it makes sense to them who I am, but for little ones, I am just some stranger and it's not really age-appropriate to assume they will want to interact with me. Is that a dealbreaker, MBs? I do say hello to the baby/child and might ask an older child to show me what they are working on, etc., so it's not like I am silent, I just want to give them space.

[Anonymous]

I actually chose our current nanny because a temporary nanny we had for the summer recommended her. We didn't "click" as well as I had with our temp nanny, but she was perfect for our kids.

The most important thing for me was someone willing to take the kids outside as often as possible, even if the weather wasn't perfect. She had two children of her own, and totally got that part.