How to bring this up?

[Anonymous]

I nanny for a couple who are separated. The 2 year old spends 2 weeks a month at DB's house and 2 weeks a month at MB's house and I travel between the two. This arrangement works pretty well and I haven't had any major problems. I recently started the 2 weeks at DB's house and I'm realizing that the 2 year old is completely off of her schedule, she's up late all night and miserable all day and she's just not herself. The most alarming thing I'm noticing though is that every morning when I come in at 8 AM her diaper hasn't been changed for the morning. She wets quite a bit during the night so she's normally soaked by the time I change her at 8. What's worse is I came in yesterday at 10 AM and she was still in the same diaper I'd put her in at 8PM the night before (I know because it was the last one in the box and the new box was still unopened when I checked in the morning).

I'm not saying that DB is a horrible Dad, he's great with his daughter, I'm just worried that because he's not used to providing the bulk of the childcare that he's overlooking some things. How do I bring this up?

[Anonymous]

How about asking him what his morning routine is like with her? Ask him what time she is waking up for him, has her diaper changed, etc. You could even make up a little log book page, and just tell him that since things are a little different between the two households, you wanted to write down her schedule for each house so you don't get too confused.

In other words, put it on you. Hopefully, that will give you an opening to say something about what her schedule usually is. Also, if he's new to this, there's a good chance things will improve as he gets better at remembering the routine and reading her signals.

This is difficult, because you obviously can't tell MB without opening a huge can of worms, but that poor kid!

[Anonymous]

This is so sad, parents who aren't being parents.

[Anonymous]

Use a sharpie to quite the tine you put the diaper on. When you come in the next day you can ask how things are going and why she still has a diaper from 6 pm and does he need help establishing a routine etc. he needs to know that's not ok and people are looking out for the welfare of his kid and will notice his neglect. If he can't change a simple diaper then what else is he neglecting? This might not be the right arrangement for them.