I gave notice, worried about the reaction.

[Anonymous]

I just gave notice that I'm not available 2 afternoons a week (kids can go to school until 4:30 and I work until 5:30) anymore come the end of the month. I found them a trusted replacement as an option for those 2 afternoons. Then I let them know I will be leaving permanently in 60 days. I apologized for the short notice on not being available the 2 afternoons (which really isnt short notice considing it is just und 30 days notice), but that if they chose to utilize the nanny I had set up to take over for me they wouldn't be effected. I also offered to help them find and train a new nanny over the next couple months.

I've been with the family for 5 years FT and I can't believe the reaction to my giving notice. They knew this was coming as we've been talking about it since last year. I have a very important surgical procedure coming this week, which they know about and how important it is. After giving noticed my employer almost immediatly said "and you still expect to get that time off after giving short term notice?" Then basically "yupped" me for the next 10 minutes until I left for the weekend. I also get my paycheck transferred to my account on Fridays and that still hasn't been done as of now.

Is there anything I can say or do to help them get over their anger at me leaving? I love the kids and don't want to lose my relationship with them as I've had both from infancy. I never would have thought after 5 years they would act this way when this day finally came. I think mostly I'm just hurt, because they always talked about how much they cared about me, but it seems that this is too much of an inconvenience for them. Ugh! I just am really dreading how they will treat me when I go in again.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. You poor thing. Try to think of it this way: their reaction is about them, and not about you. It's not even about how they regard you. Right now, they are feeling sorry for themselves. You have done nothing wrong, and when they get some emotional distance, they will realize that.

Try just to act normal when you see them again. The anticipation of how you think they might treat you is just going to cause angst.

[Anonymous]

Are you prepared to have them fire you immediately?

[Anonymous]

That's horrible and definitely one of the worst parts of being a nanny. I had a bad experience when I gave notice with my first live in family. I did it very professionally and gave them a month to find someone. They were furious then basically cussed me out and made me move out the next day without allowing me to say goodbye to the kids. Oh and they only gave me about 1/4 of my last pay check when I had worked the entire pay period.

I did however have a very good yet very sad experience leaving my most recent live out job after over a year. My husband had gotten a new job in different city so we were moving for that reason. I was able to give them 5 weeks and they were really great during the whole time. They even allowed me to sit in during interviews with the new candidates and really took my opinions into consideration. They also wrote me an amazing letter of reference. I guess it just really depends on the family. Hopefully after the shock wears off they will be more accepting but be prepared for the worst.

[Anonymous]

Giving notice is always a risk. They sometimes let you go the next day because they are so infuriated that you don't stay as long as they want you.

[Anonymous]

Any way to avoid that risk? What's the best way to protect yourself?

[Anonymous]

They're being jerks. Hopefully, they've taken the weekend to cool down.

When my first nanny told me she was leaving, it was all I could do not to cry (I had just had DS2, so the hormones were at least a little to blame). By the next day, I had calmed down and it was easier to discuss it with her.

[Anonymous]

No, OP, there is no way to help them. You did everything right. You can't control other people's reaction.

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

Just calmly stay focussed on the kids and your job and move on as gracefully as possible.

[Anonymous]

And just hope for the best?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And just hope for the best?

What else can you do? I know when my nanny quit (and she didn't give me anywhere near that much notice), all I could think of was how much work I would need to do to find someone new in time. For this couple, it may entail taking time off work to interview, etc., and they may just have been a little shell-shocked, though it does sound like it shouldn't have come as such a surprise.

[Anonymous]

Ok but your pay not being done is not ok. You let them know you need it immediately. Do not ask, tell.

[Anonymous]

Just keep smiling. They're bitter, immature and obviously don't appreciate or respect you. True colors come out when people get angry.

You dedicated 5 wonderful years to caring for their children and this is the thanks you get? Goes to show how selfish and ignorant these people are.

Don't get on their level and be rude back, instead, keep smiling and honor your notice for the kids sake. Then once your notice is up, RUN!

[Anonymous]

If you haven't gotten paid yet then that's a big sign. They might attempt to screw you. Tell them you cannot work the rest of your notice until you're paid. Once you're paid, write down on paper the days you have left and how much you will be owed. Then both of you sign. Just incase she tries screwing you atleast you'll have something on paper to bring to civil court.

People are like this. No matter how good you treat their kids, the second you inconvience them and quit they will screw you over.

[Anonymous]

If they don't pay you, take it up with the dept. of labor wage & hour board. They will go after them.

There's nothing to keep you from being let go when you give notice though. You might be able to claim unemployment for the time they let you go without cause and you were able & willing to work for them.

[Anonymous]

I was right to be nervous about the reaction. They are letting me go before my notice is up.