Feeling jealous if my nanny
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Anonymous
| My husband and nanny have similar style of humor. They can banter, and just get what each other will say by just a looking at each other. It is really starting to bother me. I work part time, and my husband works FT. He is home sometimes,works from home occasionally, so they have become buddies. I wouldn't say buddies, but very comfortable with each other. I feel like I come home to an inside joke, that I'm not part of. It is really starting to drive me crazy. MY husband is attractive. Our nanny is mid twenties. She's not unattractive either. I've always been more introverted, so it's hard to try and fit in with the humor. I'm glad they get along, as we needed someone who was comfortable with us working from home, but not sure I wanted this much bonding. I am a bit insecure, and I just don't want to make a big deal out of it. How to handle situation? |
Anonymous
| OP here. Feeling jealous OF* my nanny. |
Anonymous
| Have you talked with your husband about it? |
Anonymous
| Sorry, lady. I don't know any smart women who'd leave hubby home with nanny. Just not wise. |
Anonymous
Really? I nanny for a family and sometimes DB works from home. My MB has nothing to worry about. I don't want her husband nor does he want me. I am here for their children. You sound like a SAHM who has way too much time on her hands. Why even be married if you can't trust your husband. |
Anonymous
I don't know any smart woman who would marry a man she can't trust. |
Anonymous
| Right. |
Anonymous
| Primarily a marital issue - not a nanny issue. You start by talking honestly w/ your husband. He could/should do whatever is necessary to make you feel more comfortable w/ the situation. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| He's needs to get some other office space. You're playing with fire. |
Anonymous
|
OP, you really don't have anything to worry about. I was a live-in a year ago and I became super close with BOTH parents. DB and I had a lot in common when it came to TV shows we watched and MB and I had a lot in common when it came to exercise, pilates, etc. DB and I were always talking about the shows we watched and what we thought about an episode, what we thought would happen, etc. MB would walk in and joke that the two of us should just watch them together so she wouldn't get stuck having to!
Some nannies and MB's/DB's just become close. My MB honestly would never have had ANYTHING to worry about though. It's good for your husband and nanny to have a good relationship and same with you and her. |
Anonymous
+2 This is an issue to discuss with DH, not your nanny. Talk to your SPOUSE about your feelings and learn his perspective, then figure out a solution that makes you both happy. |
Anonymous
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I am a nanny in this exact situation. I get along very well with my DB. But I also have a great relationship with MB. So when she told me recently that she is jealous of our relationship. I had no idea what to say.
Yes I am guilty of saying many things she wouldn't get. Yes I have made references to a movie that DB and I have seen but she hasn't. But none of it was intentionally done to make her upset. We have done the same thing to DB. So to settle her insecurities I have given notice. Her home is my workplace and I don't want to have to walk on eggshells and filter what I am going to say if fear of making her feel excluded. |
Anonymous
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This is why, as a nanny, I made a rule that ANY time with DB is always limited. He leaves when I arrive, I leave shortly after he arrives. We don't chitchat for more than a few minutes, and only about the children. I hate that we live in a world where this is necessary, but it's not worth losing my job over.
However, MB. You do realize that your marriage has serious problems if you can't trust your husband around your nanny? Right? |
Anonymous
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See, the issue isn't with your nanny...it's with your own insecurities and you not trusting your husband 100%.
My DB and I sound a lot like your nanny and your husband in the sense that we have a similar sense of humor, watch the same types of movies/shows, and constantly cracking jokes at one another. It's not in a flirty way WHATSOEVER and my MB knows that. My DB is kind of like a dad to me too, I would never see it as anything more than a friendly relationship. You should actually feel grateful your nanny even feels comfortable enough with you guys on that level. You're probably already scaring her off because you can't put your own selfishness aside and realize your husband can talk and joke with women other than you. |