Anyone else have charges that turn into hellions when MB is around?

[Anonymous]

Live-in for two preschoolers, 2 and 4. Good kids, have their moments, but overall pretty easy to handle. Whenever MB is home they turn into horrible little brats. I get kicked, scratched, pinched, bit, and hit ONLY when their parents are home, they don't pull stunts like that when it's just us. Today I realized why. Because their mother is teaching them that she has the say when she is home, and the say is that it's ok to treat me like crap. The oldest get's mad because I take away the CD's he was scratching up on purpose, I gave him two warnings, and then I take them away. He scratches me across the face. I put his little behind in time-out and he whines for MB, she comes in, I explain what happened. It's a "That wasn't nice, say sorry" and then coddle coddle hug hug. He knows he can do whatever he damn well pleases when MB is around and it irritates me that they don't see how badly they act around her. Why is it ok for your preschooler to scratch and bite an adult? It's not a "that was mean" it's a "That is not appropriate behavior, you DO NOT hit or scratch and you will continue to go to time-out for this behavior, it WILL NOT be tolerated." You know how I know this works? Because I literally rarely have any behavioral issues with them when it's just us, maybe some sibling fighting but they DEFINITELY don't touch me. I guess MB feels guilty she isn't with them as much as I am but seriously, she needs to follow through with punishment.

I've decided to just get out of the house or into my room whenever MB are with the children so I don't have to fight for some respect. I gently tried to talk to MB today but she kept making excuses for his behavior. I have been with this family for 2.5 years but was a live-out till the beginning of this year. Suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Have a proper, sit-down talk with MB where you can explain the children's behavior, the changes you see, and concrete suggestions for improving it. Tell her that you having the respect of the children, and them appreciating your authority, is essential to your continued employment with them as they are going to continue to lose respect for you as this continues.

[Anonymous]

I would not remain in a position where MB and DB did not respect me and where they allowed the children to disrespect me. I am an adult, I am a professional, and I will be treated with respect. In return, I show respect to everyone in the house.

This behavior is unacceptable because MB is showing the children that it is okay to disrespect their nanny. I would talk with her and if it didn't clear up, I would leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not remain in a position where MB and DB did not respect me and where they allowed the children to disrespect me. I am an adult, I am a professional, and I will be treated with respect. In return, I show respect to everyone in the house.

This behavior is unacceptable because MB is showing the children that it is okay to disrespect their nanny. I would talk with her and if it didn't clear up, I would leave.

+1

[Anonymous]

I quit my one and only nanny job because of this same thing. I now SAH with my own children. I hated the way MB and DB would coddle the kids when they got out of control. It was terrible. I really think MB felt guilty for working. She stopped working and now the kids are amazing. I don't even recognize them now - their behavior is so much better. BTW, these are family members so I spent a lot of time with them. I really loved her children (again, they are family), but I couldn't handle how they undermined anything I said or did and how they let their kids run the house.