hiring a nanny after firing one
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Anonymous
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Employer here. We will be hiring a nanny and our older child is in school. We fired out last nanny after 15 months for lying and also driving our DC in an unsafe car seat 3 times, even after working on correcting the problem. She does, however, work in our neighborhood and is highly regarded by the other neighborhood nannies. I think I should tell a prospective nanny about this. Should I just lay out these facts or would it scare away the one we'd want to employ. We are thinking about sharing this when we negotiate the offer. I still have a few trust issues to be honest.
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Anonymous
| Not clear exactly what your concern is.... |
Anonymous
| New nanny is going to meet old nanny. Old nanny acted weird around babysitter. Want to prepare new nanny...Old nanny might not say nice things about me...want our relationship built on us not rumor. |
Anonymous
| Tough spot. Can you have a heart to heart talk with the former nanny, just to make amends? Is there anything you can do for her, so she doesn't bad mouth you? |
Anonymous
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I think you should tell the nanny, but not sure you need to do that until you decide he/she's the one. While interviewing though I would be upfront about having "trust issues". I think it's ok to say that based on prior experiences you have some non-negotiable rules - no driving the child in a car/carseat you haven't approved, absolute honesty is required from all parties, etc...
You can say that you have learned from experience what kinds of things you can be flexible on and which things are grounds for dismissal. Then the candidate has fair warning about your rules and you start off w/ a clear understanding about those issues. Later, after hiring, you can tell him/her that it is likely they will run into the former nanny in the neighborhood. You can say that she is highly regarded and you wish her all the best. But that you wanted your current nanny to know and if she/he has any discomfort around it, or any uncomfortable interactions, she should let you know. This could start you off well w/ a new employee in many regards. Good luck! Sounds uncomfortable... |
Anonymous
| MB has quite a job with this. |
Anonymous
+1 I agree. Tell your new nanny, once she's hired, the bare minimum and keep your language about the old nanny positive or at least polite. Talking about her courteously in front of your new hire will help to discredit any ranting she might hear from the old nanny. |
Anonymous
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You run the risk of making yourself look bad. People have their own opinions and will make their own judgment calls, so nanny will be able to make her own opinions once she talks to your former nanny.
Example, I've had people tell me things about another person, and when I got to know the other person I could tell she wasn't nearly as bad as the person let off. New nanny will see that you're a good employer (or bad one) so if the old nanny says anything, trust me she will know that the old nanny is just being a 'hater'. It could also back fire and new nanny will think you'll talk about her behind her back. Try to word it as nicely as possible so you don't look like a bitter employer who will defame the new nanny behind her back the second nanny makes a minor mistake. Also, make sure you don't go around telling every Tom, Dick and harry about the old nannies bad deeds, or risk the chance she finds out and ruin's your reputation, or sues you for slander which is unlikely but, you never know. Just giving you all the cons. If you still feel like telling the nanny then by all means. |
Anonymous
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When I started a job, the old nanny called me my first day at work..she said the kid was a brat, MB and DB didn't discipline at all..that the family had gave her bonuses, paid on time. I was a little put off. Never said anything but it made me nervous.
Well the family ended up being wonderful! I was there 7 years! |
Anonymous
| Odd story, but glad the family found a better fit with you. |
Anonymous
We fired our first nanny for cause as well. She told her friends in the neighborhood and one of them went up to my new nanny while she had my son and trashed us (so loudly my son was scared). Luckily we knew our new nanny via friends so she didn't take it at face value. I can imagine it would really scare a new nanny. OP, you should mention vaguely why you let the old nanny go. You don't have to trash her but that way she won't be totally in the dark. |
Anonymous
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I swear, this is not meant to sound nasty, but are you sure you're last nanny was 100% the problem? Of course she should be honest, but was she able to communicate openly and honestly with you, without fear of an overreaction? There is still no excuse for driving the child in an unsafe seat, but that's why I'm asking if it was definitely all her.
I ask because in my first few years as a nanny, I was badly in need of a job and was about to take a position with a single mother I had been in contact with. She seemed great, the daughter was wonderful, but her former nanny, an acquaintance of mine, called me to say what a nightmare the mother had been. I knew the former nanny was a "lazy nanny" from my own experiences with her, so I didn't listen. She was absolutely right, and that woman was horrid to me, and the six nannies that followed me that year, according to the father of the little girl. |
Anonymous
| I would mention it casually but not go into detail so your nanny has a heads up if they run into each other. A former nanny we worked with for just a few weeks has said some really crazy stuff about us. Fortunately our current nanny takes it with a grain of salt and realizes that 90% is completely made up and the other 10% is an exaggeration. I just said something along the lines of "we worked together very briefly and it wasn't a good fit." |
Anonymous
| Sorry but that's why it's not good to be a nanny hopper...clearly you've been around |