Is this an appropriate request?

[Anonymous]

I am a FT nanny for a family with three children under 4, I work anywhere from 40 to 50+ hours a week. I am schedule to work two 12 hour shifts this weekend. Today I found out my mother is coming into town for a doctors appointment, I haven't seen her since Christmas and rarely get to visit her and REALLY want to be able to see her for a bit. Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to ask if I can take my charges out to eat with my mother? I feel like asking them if she can visit their house would be too much. I'm really even willing to not be paid for the hours I'm out just so it doesn't seem like I'm using them, I'm just desperate. I already agreed to work this weekend two weeks ago, so backing out is not going to happen. The family I work for is VERY kind and I don't want it to seem like I'm taking advantage of their generosity, I'm almost positive they would say yes if I asked. Parents, how would you feel about this? Nannies?

[Anonymous]

Hello Honey, You really need to discuss this with the parents. We don't know them or you.

[Anonymous]

Certainly a reasonable request, some might be more willing than others. I've frequently met up with family and friends (after talking to mb about it) for various outings with the kids. The key is generally to make sure the outing is still very kid focused, things you might be doing with the kids anyways, just with your mom coming along as well.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a very reasonable request. Past and present employers have accommodated similar requests I have made. Heck, I even worked for one family who allowed me to take their youngest child (24 months at the time) on a long weekend visit to see friends and family in my hometown...which involved a 4 hour plane ride. (The rest of the family was entertaining DB's business associate out of town.)

One meal out with your mother is by no means taking advantage of their generosity. BTW don't offer to forgo pay during the time you spend eating with your mother. You will still be in charge of the 3 children. It should be a simple request, and many reasonable employers would be understanding (assuming you're normally allowed to take the children out to eat on occasion).

I would just say something along the lines of, "I just found out that my mother will be in town for an appointment. I would love to see her for a quick visit since I'm not sure when the next opportunity will be. How you would feel about the children and I joining my mother for a meal out?"

[Anonymous]

TWO 12 hour shifts over the weekend?! Geez! Don't these people ever watch their own kids?

[Anonymous]

My MB would totally allow this and even encourage it.

[Anonymous]

MB here, and I would have no problem with this and would probably offer to let you invite her over to hang out during the weekend. I definitely would not be OK with that on a regular basis, but to occasionally meet up with someone that you otherwise wouldn't get to see, especially when you are working extra weekend hours, not an issue at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello Honey, You really need to discuss this with the parents. We don't know them or you.

Stop writing things like this on everyones' posts here. Clearly people are here for advice, not for you to tell them to talk to their bosses. Your comments are getting old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TWO 12 hour shifts over the weekend?! Geez! Don't these people ever watch their own kids?

Some nanny employers have careers that require them to work weekends (medical professionals, chefs, musicians, etc...). I have a friend who works for two ER physicians. When they both have to work weekends so does she...and they are very involved parents.

Stop being so judgmental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TWO 12 hour shifts over the weekend?! Geez! Don't these people ever watch their own kids?

Some nanny employers have careers that require them to work weekends (medical professionals, chefs, musicians, etc...). I have a friend who works for two ER physicians. When they both have to work weekends so does she...and they are very involved parents.

Stop being so judgmental.

I would never take a job where I had to work that many hours and weekends. If people are too busy with their jobs, they should think twice before having kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm an MB and would absolutely let you do this. Would also be happy to have your mom to the house. Definitely ask

[Anonymous]

Yes it is appropriate..I would feel comfortable asking my MB and DB. Definitely talk to them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Certainly a reasonable request, some might be more willing than others. I've frequently met up with family and friends (after talking to mb about it) for various outings with the kids. The key is generally to make sure the outing is still very kid focused, things you might be doing with the kids anyways, just with your mom coming along as well.

Yes, the children would DEFINITELY come first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TWO 12 hour shifts over the weekend?! Geez! Don't these people ever watch their own kids?

Both are high up in the medical field, so they have 12 hour "on call" shifts about 3 or 4 times a week. Yes, they absolutely DO watch their children when not working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TWO 12 hour shifts over the weekend?! Geez! Don't these people ever watch their own kids?

Some nanny employers have careers that require them to work weekends (medical professionals, chefs, musicians, etc...). I have a friend who works for two ER physicians. When they both have to work weekends so does she...and they are very involved parents.

Stop being so judgmental.

I would never take a job where I had to work that many hours and weekends. If people are too busy with their jobs, they should think twice before having kids.

Until you are in their circumstances don't judge. They are great people who love their children, listen to PP. Don't judge.