Letting go of part-time nanny

[Anonymous]

I hired a part-time nanny a few months ago. She seemed very sweet and loving. She's going through a divorce, living on her own for the first time.

Her behavior has become increasingly erratic. I'm hearing from neighbors that my toddler son is shouting at her. He's telling me "Nanny" should stay at her house. Any attempt I've made to discuss concerns with her meet "no worries". I've discovered, from neighbors, that her teenage son is sitting in her car outside, going to the park with them. One afternoon, I asked for her to bring my son to the neighbor's around 4pm. His friends were going to be there to play. My neighbor said they never arrived. She approached the door to check for him, she heard my son shouting. Neighbors also tell me she is on her cell most of the time.

I'm concerned about how to let go of this nanny. She seems upset many days. I believe she is a caring person, but her personal life is in crisis. I've told her I need to be able to talk with her about my son, that it is a BIG concern for me. But I concerned that she will be unable to handle being fired. (I can no longer tolerate these observations from neighbors though.)

[Anonymous]

Your primary focus has to be your son. A very distant second is concern for her - especially if she's been unreceptive to your attempts to talk with her.

You can always be very generous w/ severance if you're concerned about her but this sounds like you need to act.

[Anonymous]

Let her go on the phone. If she's volatile, it's better she do whatever she's going to do in the privacy of her home rather than in yours. You said her child is a teenager?

If she says anything that sounds menacing, like she might harm herself or someone else, I'd call the police department.

I don't understand why she deserves severance? She's not being laid off; she's being fired for lack of performance. Life is hard, divorces happen. Its true that she probably shouldn't be caring for a small child while in such emotional upheaval. (I've been through it myself.)

[Anonymous]

How dumb are you? Call her on afriday on her way home from work after she's been paid and fire her.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your responses. We have a new person, and the decision to let her go is final. She seems like a perfectly nice person
in a messy situation. I'm more concerned about her response to being fired. Simple sounds best.

[Anonymous]

OP I agree that you should call her and just ask her not to come in. If she hasn't been paid yet, mail her check fed ex or certified mail to her.

[Anonymous]

How did you find this person? Her behavior was so unprofessional. Hope the next one is much better.

[Anonymous]

OP, I do not even begin to understand why you have to ask such a truly stupid question. If she isn't taking care of your child, you let her go. Why do you need to post on an anonymous chat room for opinions?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did you find this person? Her behavior was so unprofessional. Hope the next one is much better.

She was referred by our original, and dearly loved, nanny. She had two solid references. I do think she has been a good nanny. She started out wonderfully.
I believe her divorce, and trying to be on her own, is overwhelming her.

[Anonymous]

OP if you are really worried about how she might react when you fire her you need to do two things. Make sure she returns any keys or other things of yours that she has (sons carseat ect), and let the new nanny know to be on the lookout for her. I would also ensure that your

However you choose to fire her is up to you, but it would be best to let her go and the end of the day (with the full amount of pay you owe her) or at the beginning of the day (with that weeks pay including pay for the day you fire her) that way you can make a clean break. Good luck - its never easy letting someone go!