au pair vs. live in vs. live out - what would you recommend?

[Anonymous]

Hi all,

Looking for advice as we look at different paths for childcare. Some background: I am expecting our 2nd child, I WOHM and was recently promoted to a role that will require more than 50 hours a week if my time , my DH has a job with unpredictable hours. We currently have a live out nanny/housekeeper for our 8 year old who we really like and pay well ($20+ an hour, + time 1/2 OT + insurance and phone, 3 weeks vacation a year + all federal holidays off) for 40 hours a week plus occasional OT depending on our schedules. We have no complaints about our current situation except for the cost, and the simple fact that I am pretty sure our current nanny is not suited for trading her housekeeping responsibilities for taking care of an infant. I would never expect her to do both. I intend to explore this road with her but my instincts are telling me it won't be a fit.

Assuming my instincts are right we're looking at the following options, not sure which one is the right one for us so would love some BTDT feedback:

New nanny who is only a nanny (no housekeeping but for keeping the kids rooms tidy) - I've been told on this board I am paying at the top of the market - what is the going rate for a 2 kids, one in school full time and an infant in the NW DC area?

Au-Pair - 45 hours a week and then I guess a PT babysitter to take up the additional time? I have heard good and bad stories about au pairs - given our current situation of longer hours than a standard Au Pair contract, is it even feasible to consider this route?

Live in Nanny - I don't really know the difference in rates for live in nanny's vs. live out. Is it a flat pay check and then obviously an exchange for rent? I've seen quotes on this board ranging from $700 a week, which seems really high, to $400 a week which seems more reasonable. For a live in nanny or Au-Pair we would also provide a car.

For the live in situation we have a very private large refinished attic with a sitting area, but no private bath (would need to share with our kids) and no private kitchen, which, I assume is a draw back for a live in Nanny but probably okay for an Au -Pair, again, I don't know... looking for advice.

thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

Congratulations on the new baby and the promotion! Sounds like you've got a lot going on

You're definitely at the top of the market for two kids in NW (not that there aren't nannies who make more, I get), but you could find someone really good for $18/hour, plus OT, plus federal holidays and 3 weeks vacation. By insurance, do you mean health insurance? And by phone, as in you pay their cell phone bill? If so, you could definitely find someone great for $18/hour.

We have au pairs, but you really cannot have them work more than 45 hours a week. And they usually require a ton of time to choose, train, acclimate, and generally take care of during the year. Hard to find with lots of infant experience also, especially since you're talking long hours with a really young baby. If you did go the au pair route, I would suggest taking a long time to look and hopefully you could find an older, independent au pair with infant experience. If you talk up a set schedule (say nine hours each weekday with no weekends/evenings ever), the separate big living space, and free use of a car, you might be able to find a good fit. It might be great for you since your husband's schedule changes.

However, finding a part-time nanny to cover the other 10 hours or so (assuming you are working 50 hours plus commuting time) would be really difficult. If you could definitely keep it under 45, that would be a lot easier. Otherwise, I think you'd be stressing every week trying to find someone to cover a few hours here and there.


I don't know about live-ins, but it seems like the only reason you'd want a live-in is to save money as compared to a live-out. And you're right that there are some crazy high quotes on here whenever we discuss live-ins. I'm not sure what's normal for a live-in, but I agree personally that if all you find is live-ins around $700/week, then just go with a live-out and suck up the money unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

I think with two kids, one of whom will be in school full time, you can probably find someone for less than $18/hr. Especially if you'll guarantee a 50 hour work week.

That setup probably won't appeal to live-in nannies, to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think with two kids, one of whom will be in school full time, you can probably find someone for less than $18/hr. Especially if you'll guarantee a 50 hour work week.

That setup probably won't appeal to live-in nannies, to be honest.

I'm 10:46 nd I agree that you could get someone to probably$15/hour with these hours guaranteed and the benefits you offer. $18/hour would get you a really really educated/experienced great nanny.

[Anonymous]

I don't know any nannies who would live-in without a private bathroom. I would never trust an au pair with an infant. Just not a good idea.

[Anonymous]

No private bathroom would absolutely be a deal breaker for me. I would never consider that. Private kitchenette would be nice, but not necessarily a deal breaker. You'd better be willing to pay more than $400 per week for a live in since your accommodations are less than ideal.

[Anonymous]

I highly recommend an au pair and then having a nanny/housekeeper for additional hours. That's what we do. Our housekeeper (who was perviously a full time nanny) comes once a week to clean but on weeks that we need extra childcare she comes another day to watch the kids. Bonus: if we go out on a Saturday night that the au pair is off she does extra organizing (NOT requested but VERY appreciated) while the kids are sleeping.