Stalking: Should I Tell New Bosses?

[Anonymous]

I just started a new job the week before christmas. Unforuntly I am in a scary situation and wonder if I need to address/tell the parents about it. I am being stalked for the last five months and while I have taken precautions to protect myself it doesnt seem to be going away. Should I tell my new employeers as I do not wish to lose my job and MB is one of those very overprotective mothers who don't even let her two children play outside for fear of getting hurt. Help please!

[Anonymous]

As a nanny I feel that you need to tell your employers about this situation. In most instances I don't feel that employers have the right to have information about an employee's personal life. This is not one of those times. Whenever an employee's personal life might impact work the employer has a right to know.

Your employers' main concern is the safety of their children...as it should be. Be prepared to be let go. This isn't due to MB's overprotective nature...it's due to your employer's natural instinct to protect her children from a potentially harmful situation. I can't speak for all nanny employers, but I am confident that if you were working for the family I work for you would be let go. Their children's safety comes first...and my employers are NOT the overprotective type.

As a nanny I would never want to put the children I take care of in a potentially dangerous situation. That includes a stalker situation. Part of your job is to protect your charges, and if you are in, as you say, "a scary situation that doesn't seem to be going away" why would you take chances with the lives of someone else's children? What if the stalker knows where you work and decides to take action one day? Is that a situation you really want your charges to be in?

[Anonymous]

I completely agree with the PP. You need to tell your MB & DB ASAP and definitely be prepared to be let go.

[Anonymous]

The right thing to do would be to tell your bosses immediately. You might lose your job, but the safety of these children should be the number one priority.

Have you contacted the police? Filed a restraining order? True stalking doesn't just go away. What precautions have you taken to protect yourself? I hope you stay safe, this is not something to take lightly.

[Anonymous]

Of they let you go, ask if they'll put the reason in writing so if you end up in court you can say how it's affecting your ability to earn a living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of they let you go, ask if they'll put the reason in writing so if you end up in court you can say how it's affecting your ability to earn a living.

This is a good idea.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am so sorry that you are in such a scary situation through no fault of your own. Unfortunately, I agree with the PPs that you really need to tell your employers and understand that you will likely be let go. It really sucks and is unfair, but it is also unfair to put innocent children in a situation that you know has a very real potential for becoming dangerous. Agree with those who have suggested having MB/DB document why you are being let go (and I wonder if this would allow you to qualify for unemployment although I don't know the rules well enough to be sure). Good luck, my thoughts are with you in what has to be an incredibly scary and difficult time.

[Anonymous]

Why on earth were you even interviewing for a job caring for children when you are being stalked? Normally, I'm on the nanny's side but you have wasted their time and money. Of course you tell them and, of coure, you will be let go for cause.

[Anonymous]

Yes to everything others have said. Why would you get a new job if being stalked, unless it was in a different state and the person could not find you?

How extreme is the stalking? Just following and watching you, or threatening manner? Would they follow you to a new state or is it something that is more like a person is interested in you and you not them and they just haven't realized this? Is it someone you know or a total stranger?

Have you contacted the police and gotten a restraining order? If you think that you're not safe with the person around, then how could you think that your charges could be safe with you around?

[Anonymous]

need more details

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just started a new job the week before christmas. Unforuntly I am in a scary situation and wonder if I need to address/tell the parents about it. I am being stalked for the last five months and while I have taken precautions to protect myself it doesnt seem to be going away. Should I tell my new employeers as I do not wish to lose my job and MB is one of those very overprotective mothers who don't even let her two children play outside for fear of getting hurt. Help please!

You might lose your job regardless. This is a scary issue for parents. Infact, I went through it a couple years ago and a neighbor had been asking me to babysit but when I let her know what was going on, she told me to take it easy and she'll find someone else. You could tell she didn't want the drama of a stalker creeping by the street we lived on.
The first thing I did was get a protective order because a retraining order will take time. Take different roots so you're not followed. Just incase he knows you work shifts, etc. and make sure you're not walking alone at any time. Also, keep all doors locked.

[Anonymous]

No.

You should talk to the police.

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness, of course tell the parents!