too passive-agreessive?

[Anonymous]

I have been with this family for 2 years. The last 8 months has been on a part time basis (3 days/week). 4 kids (triplets+1). I know I go above and beyond for them, there's not one day I come that I sit down to take a breath. If I'm not with the kids I am doing laundry, dishes, vaccumming, folding clothes, organizing bins, taking the garbage out, you name it. Whatever needs to be done, I'm on it.

For x-mas I gave them a card, each of the kids got a present plus 1 big present that all 4 can play. I was a little upset when my last of work last week I got nothing but figured, maybe something next week. So today, my first day after Christmas. NOTHING! I mean, I wasn't expecting a big present and I am truly not an entitled nanny. In fact I would've been so happy with a picture of the kids in a frame! Instead I got nothing, not even a CARD! And my hours came up to $XXX.75 they wrote seventy five cents on check! Couldn't even make it up 25 cents to make it even!!!!

So right now, they are on date night and normally I'd be folding clothes, putting dishes away etc. But not tonight. Am I being too passive-agressive?

[Anonymous]

Stop going above and beyond!

They're horrible for not getting you anything.

Youre not being too passive aggressive. but do your normal tasks and do not ever go beyond. if they ask why youve changed, you can note that you feel unappreciated

[Anonymous]

Unless you are incredibly well paid or they make you feel appreciated in some other way, that sucks. Did they get you anything last year, when you were full time? Maybe they feel it is not necessary for a PT employee? Maybe they are having financial difficulties? Can you ask them if they are unhappy with your performance?

[Anonymous]

People here seem to not understand what a bonus is. It's not required. It's not mandatory. If you're expecting it then you are entitled. If you want to go above and beyond, then do it. But don't do it because you're hoping you'll get a fat bonus/Christmas present for it. Do it because that's your work ethic, or because you hate sitting around doing nothing. Not because you want to get "paid back" for it at the end of the year.

[Anonymous]

Pp I didn't want to get a fat bonus. I know what a bonus is, thank you very much but I am not complaining that I didn't get one.
I don't think is outrageous to expect a card, or a picture frame from them along with some "merry xmas wishes".

To the other pp. They are not struggling, no. I did get a present + bonus last year when I was FT. Maybe is just the PT thing but I'm just so appaled that they didn't give me something as tiny as A CARD!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People here seem to not understand what a bonus is. It's not required. It's not mandatory. If you're expecting it then you are entitled. If you want to go above and beyond, then do it. But don't do it because you're hoping you'll get a fat bonus/Christmas present for it. Do it because that's your work ethic, or because you hate sitting around doing nothing. Not because you want to get "paid back" for it at the end of the year.

WTH?
No. You don't get it both ways. Either a bonus is a reward for a job well done (and therefore is specifically designed to motivate nannies to go above and beyond) or it is a reflection of the employer's wealth (and therefore should come regardless of the nanny's extra efforts--equally to good nannies or poor ones).

If a nanny has worked her tail off going above and beyond, then she can reasonably expect some signs of appreciation particularly at the end of the year. If a family cannot provide a cash bonus, then they should at least show some other sign of appreciation. A thoughtful gift, a handmade project from the children, a photo of the children play, an an extra day off, Or a hand written note singing her praises and expressing verbally appreciation For all that she does Would all be good ways to show that the family cannot afford a bonus but appreciate their nanny anyway. If a family makes no effort to express any appreciation, then a nanny is fully justified in doing her contracted tasks and nothing more. This does not make her lazy or spoiled or passive aggressive. It likely means that she is saving her efforts so that she has the energy for the job search she will now be doing after hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People here seem to not understand what a bonus is. It's not required. It's not mandatory. If you're expecting it then you are entitled. If you want to go above and beyond, then do it. But don't do it because you're hoping you'll get a fat bonus/Christmas present for it. Do it because that's your work ethic, or because you hate sitting around doing nothing. Not because you want to get "paid back" for it at the end of the year.

WTH?
No. You don't get it both ways. Either a bonus is a reward for a job well done (and therefore is specifically designed to motivate nannies to go above and beyond) or it is a reflection of the employer's wealth (and therefore should come regardless of the nanny's extra efforts--equally to good nannies or poor ones).

If a nanny has worked her tail off going above and beyond, then she can reasonably expect some signs of appreciation particularly at the end of the year. If a family cannot provide a cash bonus, then they should at least show some other sign of appreciation. A thoughtful gift, a handmade project from the children, a photo of the children play, an an extra day off, Or a hand written note singing her praises and expressing verbally appreciation For all that she does Would all be good ways to show that the family cannot afford a bonus but appreciate their nanny anyway. If a family makes no effort to express any appreciation, then a nanny is fully justified in doing her contracted tasks and nothing more. This does not make her lazy or spoiled or passive aggressive. It likely means that she is saving her efforts so that she has the energy for the job search she will now be doing after hours.

+1

[Anonymous]

People here seem to not understand what a bonus is. It's not required. It's not mandatory. If you're expecting it then you are entitled. If you want to go above and beyond, then do it. But don't do it because you're hoping you'll get a fat bonus/Christmas present for it. Do it because that's your work ethic, or because you hate sitting around doing nothing. Not because you want to get "paid back" for it at the end of the year.

+1.

Also, many people don't think of giving holiday bonuses to PT nannies. Maybe your employers are like that, OP. It looks like you can continue to go above and beyond, for your own reasons, or you can cut back your effort (which I do think is passive aggressive, although that's a choice for you) or you can get a new job.

The problem, OP is that since bonuses are not mandatory, or even expected by a lot of people, you can't really negotiate for one if it isn't already in your contract as a motivation to do well. If you were talking about a yearly raise, or something, I would say the best thing to do is document all the things you do that are above and beyond and make a case for a raise. That would avoid the passive aggressive issue and could actually get you what you want.

[Anonymous]

Theyre spending your bonus on themselfs at the movies.. yes you should be passive-aggressive, just like they are esp with the 25 incident on your check.

They dont appreciate you and prob complain about little sh*t so F them

[Anonymous]

I have learned that some people are raised to give and praise (and give bonuses) and others are raised to take. I have been a nanny for almost 5 years and have had both. It sucks and I would recommend either confronting your employers or looking for something else. It sucks when you get an employer who is not generous (like mine currently).