So, this is totally innapropriate right?

[Anonymous]

I work for a very busy family, both parents work between 40 and 80 hours a week (in the medical field), usually opposite shifts. I work 40+ hours a week, including dropping of at school, putting to bed, some overnight stays, and generally taking care of all aspects of the little ones life, when needed.

The family is great, the children are adorable (although very energetic) and I generally love my job, but at times I feel like this family is a little too comfortable with me at times. Dad is notorious for still being in his underwear when I get to the house, yes...it's his house, but it makes me so uncomfortable. I take extra precautions to keep a solid distance from DB, just for my own personal reasons. I don't feel comfortable around men in general, especially ones who have some power over me and walk around in their underwear. By no means does he seem "flirty" but he will put his hands on my shoulder, or call me "hon" which makes me shiver, but MB is the same way. She's very touchy, calls me "baby" and just overly friendly at times, and I accept that some people are just like that, but I am extremely introverted and frankly don't like people touching me. Every time one of them puts their hand on my back (innocently, I suppose) I feel my face turn bright red, and I just want to them to leave. I'm having a hard time separating what is truly not appropriate and what is me being ultra sensitive (I've had lifelong issues with intimacy therefor it's hard for me to separate what truly is just someone being friendly and what is not appropriate.) I'm truly not comfortable when MB and DB are home, they kiss DC on the lips, or put their pacifiers in their mouth and the thought of touching my employees mouth germs gives me high anxiety.

Oh, I don't want to give off the illusion that I'm detached and distant with the kids, I'm very physically affectionate with my DC, they are very young and I have no issues with kissing their cheeks or letting them sleep on me, it's just odd that their parents seem to have no qualms about personal space!

[Anonymous]

I'd also like to add that DB/MB are extreme braniacs (dorks) and seem to have no social skills, so that may play into their oblivion about appropriate behavior.

[Anonymous]

I'd say DB walking around in his underwear when you're there is pretty inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Walking around in his underwear without pants or at least a robe is inappropriate. Touching you on the back is fine. Them putting their kids pacifiers in their mouths is weird yet fine.

OP, I think you should seek therapy for your intimacy and anxiety issues. I am also very introverted, but the fact that you say you're not comfortable around men in general is a huge warning sign that you could use some help. Please get some, ASAP - there's no good reason for you to spend even one more year feeling that way, and I don't know of any countries that are solely female-occupied.

[Anonymous]

Yes, being in his underwear is inappropriate. Everything else seems like it could easily be fine, normal behavior for the family. You should request that they wear a robe when you're around.

Everything else you'll probably need to work through a bit on your own - doesn't sound like they're really doing anything wrong. But that also doesn't mean that you couldn't have a quiet conversation w/ MB (or even an email if that's more comfortable for you) that says that you are a bit introverted/reserved (except around kids - which is why you do what you do/love their kids etc...) and that it would really help you if they would be dressed/covered up when you're around. They may be lovely people who would really want you to feel comfortable and if you ask for what you need in a way that isn't threatening/off-putting to them they might quickly make some adjustments that would help you feel more at ease.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

i agree with others who say you should seek out professional help for your own issues. You should not have to feel that way about intimacy or men and it may take years for you to change your feelings depending on the circumstances of your past but taking the first step is very important to overall life satisfaction. I've gone to therapy when i went through a serious break up that brought back all my emotions from my abusive childhood. It was the best thing I ever did for myself.